Cloth diapers, revisited

I feel lately like I've been answering a lot of questions about cloth diapers.  I posted, long ago, our cloth diapering approach, but haven't reported back on how it's going for us.

In short, I love cloth diapers.  I would never go any other route.  How people can morally use disposable diapers boggles my mind.  I understand needing to use them occasionally, but consistently?  I don't get it.  Disposable diapers are evil, I challenge you to convince me otherwise.  Yes, I've read the studies that exist (and there aren't many) that compare the environmental impact of disposable and cloth diapers, and I've also followed the funding trail.  I have yet to find a real study that wasn't funded by someone related to the disposable diaper industry.  If you know of one, please do tell.

The only exception to this MAY be if you live in a drought prone area.  But for those of you reading from Minnesota, this does not apply to you.

Here's our wash strategy (specifically designed to minimize environmental impact):
1)  Separate liners from covers before placing in diaper pail.  Spray off poopy diapers before putting in diaper pail (we only started doing this once MJ started solids.  Prior to that we just tossed them in the pail.)
2)  Have enough diapers to only wash every 3-4 days.  (This is not only saves you time but reduced the environmental impact.)
3)  Dump diapers and wet bag in washer.  One full wash (cold water) with white vinegar.
4)  One full wash (cold water) with 1 Tbs Charlie's soap.
5)  One extra rinse cycle (cold water) to get the rest of the soap out.  Haven't tried skipping this step, may not even need it.
6)  Put inserts, prefolds and all-in-ones in drier.  Line dry covers and wet bags (I just drape them over chairs in our living room.  And my visitors look squeamish when they ask if all the diapers hanging on the chairs are clean.  Wow, I must be a bad housekeeper if you have to ask that.)  Now that it's getting nice out, line dry the inserts as well.
7)  Clean diapers!  Stuff pockets.

It's easy.  We have recently started to have some rash issues, I suspect related to the poopy diapers, because it started once MJ started solids.  I'm going to start spraying these with Bac-out to see if that fixes it.  For diaper rash we use California Baby Diaper Rash Cream; it's spendy but it works well, is cloth diaper friendly, and our one tube is barely used at all, so it lasts forever.

How many diapers do we have to get through 4 days?  Daycare requires that inserts and covers be changed at the same time, so we exclusively use all-in-ones and pockets at daycare.

 We have ~ 10 BumGenius one-size pockets (got lots on sale and lots as gifts).  We have ~ 6 small thirsties all-in-ones (which she has pretty much outgrown) and ~ 6 medium Thristies all-in ones.  I love the thirsties, we got them on sale for ~$9 or $10 each (they tend to go on sale in December and January), but they're sized so they don't last as long.  The Bumgenius work well, and if you don't put the covers in the dryer they will last longer.

Additionally, we have 4 FuzziBunz one size; these have snap closures, rather than velcro (like the bumgenius.)  Many people prefer this style, because the velcro frays over time and catches on things in the drier. But I hate that you have to choose your size setting each time with the fuzzibunz.  That annoys me.  And the daycare staff seems to have a harder time with them.

We have 2 gro-baby shells and 6 inserts. I love these diapers, but only use them at home because otherwise I'd have to have a shell for each insert.  They are the trimmest cloth diaper I have found, and since MJ is trying to crawl I think they're great for her right now.  The inserts do take a long time to dry, and the diapers are spendy, but you can get "gently used" diapers from Jillian's drawers.

2 urban fluff all-in-ones, which are just awful.  They contain nothing.  I need to just get rid of them, because occasionally DH puts one on and it leaks everywhere, every time.

Some assortment of Thirstie's covers.  I think maybe 2 small and 1 duo sized 2.  These are my favorite covers, but we don't use them a ton because we only use them at home.

2 medium sun-seedllings fitteds.  These are great night-time diapers.  Very bulky, but the quick dry variety dries quickly (redundancy is redundant.)

6 premium infant prefolds, along with some snappis.  Again, only for home use, when paired with a Thirsties cover.  A standard, no frills combination.  Not my favorite, but you can't argue with the price.  Good to have a stash for when you waited too long to wash your diapers.

Additional items:
Target Circo baby wash cloths for cloth wipes. $3 for 6.
Honey chunks dissolved in water in spray bottle for a wipe solution.
2 Planet wise diaper pail liners.
1 cheapy flip top garbage can for a diaper pail.
A few Leslie's Boutique wet bags for day care (medium or large).  We tend to just use plastic grocery bags in the diaper bag because we always forget the wet bags.

I think that's about it.  We have phased out some smaller covers (Thirsties were the best), smaller fitteds (kissaluvs, primarily) and smaller prefolds.  Other than replacing the 6 thirsties all-in-ones that MJ is about to outgrow, we won't need much else.  Ever.  All our diapering expenses have been made, and we only have to wash every 3-4 days.

Writing for sport

l confess, I have been feeling uninspired lately.  This here blog has started to feel like another chore.  On top of the myriad chores that having a wee-one necessitates (bottles! bath time! reading!), which aren't all bad, but still must all be done, as well as the ones I've placed on myself (cloth diapers!) feeling like I had to keep up the blog felt like... too much.  Especially now that it's getting nice outside, so there's yardwork and grilling to be done.

But today I looked at my traffic feed, and saw how many of you are still visiting me here, and felt like I owe you something.  And NOT in a chore kind of way, but in a you've-all-been-so-kind-to-me-it-makes-me-happy-to-do-something-in-return sort of way.

Much of my lack of inspiration has been fatigue.  MJ is doing better with the sleep thing (fantastic, really) but I've had a cough for, going on 2 months now, which has gotten so bad that it keeps me up at night.  I'm running through the wickets to fix it, and today got put on a course of antibiotics.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  And toes.  And itty-bitty-nose-hairs.

MJ had her 6 month appointment last friday.  Proud mama that I am, I'm already boring you with mundane details.  But I don't care.

15% for length.  Tiny peanut!

20% for weight.  We consciously tried to bring her weight up a bit, and it looks like we succeeded.  She's starting to look like a little chubster!  Very pinchable cheeks.

 Which puts her right where she should be, weight for length.  Just a scoche (spelling?) over 50%.

And my favorite.  80% for head!  Girl has a monster noggin, but she wears the bobble head look well.

The pediatrician said she was very strong; it's no wonder, with a head like that she has to be.  She also called her anomalously fearless for a 6 month old.  I've been thinking a lot about that one. Anomalously fearless....

I saw what she meant on Saturday at our first swim lesson.  There were big water jets at the pool, shooting water into the air.  I marched her right up to them, never even thinking that would be a bad idea.  And she loved them.  Then I notice that all the other babies around me are terrified of them.  The moms are slowly trying to convince them that it's fun, they should try it, and some of them eventually did.  Some never did.

So I guess our pediatrician's right.  Anomalously fearless.  On the one hand, kinda cool.  It makes me proud to think that my child can take on the world, nothing can keep her down, bla, bla, bla.  But on the other hand.... a healthy dose of fear in a child is a good thing.  I want her to be somewhat afraid of things... like hotty-hot stoves and meany-mean strangers. 

After our last appointment we made a concerted effort to get her to eat more, and we succeeded.  This time around we need to put the fear in her...

Cheap entertainment

This is why I love this man.

The great return...

...from vacation. We took a lovely vacay to Key West last week. Thus the pool pic. I read somewhere I'm not supposed to announce on my blog that I'm leaving town because some crazy stalker types will track down my address and rob my house. So I didn't tell you I was leaving (though you minnesotan's may have figured it out from the outdoor swimming). And I hid my laptop in my bra so that no one could find it. Not that those things can hide much more than an iphone (if that) since the end of breast feeding. I did enjoy the larger cup size, I'll admit it.


It was glorious. A week away. With husband and baby, and no one else. While the weather was wonderful, the days relaxing and the pina colada's tasty, my favorite part was getting non-stop baby time. She is in constant motion these days. If she's not sleeping then she's into something, or busy trying to catch the eye of everyone we walk by. I had her in the Moby most days, facing out, and the non-stop "look at the cute baby!" "Oh, what a doll!" etc. put a permagrin on my face; at first I tried to respond to all the comments, but by the end of the week I couldn't keep up. With all the pirates-with-parrots and snake-tamers busking on street corners, we thought about standing next to them with MJ in her Moby and a can for tips, all proceeds going to her college fund. We could have paid for a years worth of tuition from last week alone.

I admit it, I love having a cute baby. I love it particularly now because I know there's no risk of all the attention going to her head. I hope she gets a little less cute as she gets older, because I firmly believe brains are better than beauty (or at least that's how I justify my experience.) The ideal is brains, beauty and modesty, I suppose, but I wouldn't know how to raise a child that has all three.

Anyway, back to the vacay (what an obnoxious word... I love it...) MJ, it turns out, loves sand. Who knew? A baby that loves sand, what a rarity. Furthermore, she loves splashing in the water. And? She loves us. What a wonderful, wonderful week. I will be posting pics soon...

Water

A very, very big tub.

6 months

It's been one of those crazy days.  Where you woke up at 1:30, which sort of starts everything off on a tired note.  Where I run around trying to cram 7 days worth of lab work into my tiny-little-friday, inevitably screwing some of that up, spilling nitric acid all over the place because it turns out even teflon can melt if subjected to high enough temperatures for long enough. 

But I'm going to be leaving here shortly, to pick you up and spend a whole weekend together.  And I can't wait.  I can't wait to soak in more of your neverending love.  Your never ending, no strings attached love.  I guess there really are strings (funny how you expect to be fed and changed.  one or the other is simply not enough.) and someday the love might be misplaced for a while.  But right now you have nothing but love for us, in your little 6-month-the-world-revolves-around-me way. 

I had lunch with a friend today, who has a 2 month old and has not yet returned to work full time.  I talked about how hard it is to be away from you so much, but how I love what I'm doing and I hope in the end, that's enough.  I'd love to be able to do both jobs full time, but there simply aren't enough hours in the day.  So know that I love you.  And more than a small part of the reason I'm still working is that someday I want you to be able to have it all.  I want you to be able to be a smarty-pants successful woman who is also a great mother.  How can I ask that of you if I can't do it myself?

I hope you look back on your childhood and don't remember how much I missed but how much I was there for.  Because I might miss some things.  But I hope I don't miss too much, and I hope that in the end what's most important is what we share.  You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.  While it's amazing that 6 months has gone by already, I think I'm even more amazed that it's only been 6 months.  That you have achieved all this in 6 short months.  Think how much you can do in a lifetime?  I have no doubt, little one, that you will do it.

TORN

When my boss rants for 10 minutes about how there's something wrong with my generation, at least in this country, I want to ask how he'd survive if his wife had a job.  And remind him that the parable of hard work that he holds up to me has moved half-a-country away while his wife postpones her PhD to look after their 4-month-old.  When he tells me he will no longer accept american students, because the foreigners that visit here work so much harder, I wanted to mention that when I was a visiting student in another lab I worked 20-hour-days and slept on the floor of the lab.  By those standards, your foregin students are slackers.

I also want to mention that every day my husband comes home telling me about the 30-year-old that died today.  Unexpectedly, or perhaps expectantly, though only expected for the last 6 months.  Yes, sir, you're lucky you didn't die at 30.  Or 40.  I'm lucky I didn't die at 20.  Neither of us, yet.  But it could happen any day, and I don't want to miss the opportunity to kiss my child good night for a few extra data points in the lab.

But instead I smiled and nodded empathetically.  And secretly wanted to stay late to collect a few more data points.

Vacation from what?

This weekend took a lot out of me.  It was a good weekend, MJ was her adorable self, but she's becoming more of a tornado.  She's still only a small dust-devil, but she is slowly working her way towards tornado status.  I think I had my first real glimpse of what toddlerhood has in store for us and I'm more than a little scared.

This morning was the first time I was excited to drop her off at daycare.  So I could take it easy during the week.  What happened to weekends being a break?  I think I need a vacation, but I'm not sure what I need a vacation from.  Do I need a vacation from motherhood (which is not an option)?  Or do I need a vacation with my family, wherein I spend lots of quality time with MJ?  If watching MJ was my full time job I probably wouldn't feel so overwhelmed by her.  But being as she is my vacation, and the rest of the week is a full time job, it seems more daunting.

I am tired this morning, even though DH woke up with her at 2 am.  The words are arriving through a fog.  Last night we went to the local family bar.  It's a pub, and truly feels like one, until you see the scads of children running around.  There was even a children's birthday party, complete with little pink and orange cone-shaped party hats.  We met a lovely couple who commented on how adorable MJ is, so I automatically liked them.  They mentioned that by the time their youngest was 2 she had been to more bars in St. Paul than most adults, but that they had to stop taking her to dive bars when she started eating popcorn off the barroom floor.  I am proud to say that DH and I figured this out before reaching the popcorn-off-the-barroom-floor status.  Maybe we're more intuitive parents than I thought.

Though MJ did dive for the french fry basket every chance she got, and got a couple of them all the way to her mouth before we could pry them free. 

::my toes are blushing::

A bit late to the party here.  I have just not had the energy/time to keep up with this here blog.  Rather than post partum depression (ppd), perhaps I am experiencing post partum blog absence.  I'm guessing that's incredibly insensitive to anyone suffering from ppd.  But I don't think anyone has ever accused me of being sensitive, so let's run with it.

Several weeks ago, Metta1313 over at 365daysofbeing30andmommy kindly nominated me for the Sunshine Award.  I'm not gonna lie, I love awards.  I particularly love awards I don't have to dust, so *curtsy*, thank you Metta.   

The rules for accepting the Sunshine Award are as follows:

1. Put the logo in my post or within my blog.
2. Pass the award onto 12 fellow bloggers.
3. Link the nominees within my post.
4. Let the nominees know they have received this award by leaving a comment on their blogs.
5. Share the love and link to the person who gave you the award!

I can tell you right now I'm not going to make it to 12.  Who has time to keep up with 12 blogs?  Actually, I do, but I'm mostly a tag-along follower.  You know, I read Dooce and Blair and all the other 1000+ followers blogs.  They don't need a sunshine award.  So this is reserved for the small-time bloggers.

1.  TwoTomatoes.  This is one funny lady, and I can verify this from having met her in person.  Furthermore, I get to work with her.  Was it this blog that got me the gig?  I don't think so, but it's a cool sidenote.

2.  Life with the Lairds.   I'm lucky to say I knew her when.  Her blog is beautiful and inspirational.  Always a reminder of what's important in life.  And her children are scrumptious.

3.  Postcards from parenthood.  I just started reading this blog, but I'm pretty convinced if I met Eliza in person I'd want to drink lots of martinis and talk about boys.

4.  The Battle Book. Another recent addition to the blog roll.  Not only is she writing about exotic adventures in a foreign land, but she's snarky and witty and as thrilling as a dirty romp in the sack. 

I have no idea if these ladies have already been nominated.   But even if they have, they deserved a standing ovation.

How could you not love this face?

MJ LOVES food. It's only rice cereal. Have you ever tasted the stuff? Not very exciting. But I guess, if it's the first texture you've ever experienced, it really is better than sliced bread.

Can I begin to tell you?

How excited I am about Lauren Graham on TV again?  (and the Parenthood.  Needless to say, DH doesn't understand.  But it doesn't even last on our DVR, so he doesn't even know he doesn't understand).  I think the only time I've ever disagreed with Family Guy was when they made fun of the Gilmore Girls.  Now that I have my own daughter (as in, not just leased, but rent-to-own) I think I need to buy the full series on DVD.  Because Kelly is not around anymore to borrow it from.  And seeing Lauren Graham on TV makes me miss Kelly. And the Gilmore Girls.  And sleep.

Are you raising a douchebag?

I've been working on this post for a week now. By working, I mean I wrote this out and then forgot about it for a week. Until I saw this post over on HeirtoBlair. All of this has been prompted by an article on details.com.  I've worried about it before, although MJ is too young to feel entitled.  Yet.

I am very lucky that my husband has a good job. I'm convinced that raising a child is much easier to do when you have money. It allows me to afford things like good daycare (other than the TV), babysitters above the age of 12, takeout that includes vegetables other than ketchup, and housecleaning (because the 3 dishes I wash a week just don't suffice). This frees up my time to focus on my child. To play "Can Mj projectile vomit into Mama's mouth while flying?", read board books like "US weekly", and go for walks to the coffeeshop for some mocha-almond-goodness. Although I spent many years dating long-haired artists and musicians who read Capote in their free time, I'm awfully glad I fell in love with someone who can support me and the babe.
All that being said, I worry.  I worry that MJ will grow up to be a brat.  And now that we've talked about sending her to private school I worry that she will be out of touch with reality.  How will we avoid this?  I've been developing a plan.

When she's old enough, we'll take her on bike rides through the ghetto. This will teach her to pedal fast, not to rely on others to drive her to safety.

We'll give her a chore list as soon as she can read.  We'll use audio chore lists before that.  You don't need a house cleaner if your daughter does it for you.  So that's a two-fer.

We'll refuse to pay for plastic surgery or botox until she's at least 8.  That will give her time to appreciate her inner beauty, but should be early enough that the scars will heal before her cottillion.

We will buy her a car in a color that makes her complexion looked washed out.  We don't want any of that stoplight flirtation.

Lastly, there's no "I" in "Kmart brand".

Tell me, am I forgetting anything?  I think this sounds like a solid plan.  She will surely grow up empathetic and gracious.

The unsharing mama

In MJ's early days, after her initial I-am-so-tiny-I-could-crumble-from-the-sight-of-a-germ phase, I was always happy to pass her around to any willing baby holders.  It gave me a little bit of a break from a squirming baby, and filled up other women's baby-tank, so it was an all around win-win.  These days, though, I am more begrudging.  I see her so much less that I generally don't want to put her down.  Ever.  And now she wants to be down more than ever; squirming, rolling, pre-crawling all over.  I am becoming more of a baby hoarder.  Her baby days are growing shorter and her days with me are already short.

DH is betting we have one week until MJ starts crawling, and I am hoping he's wrong.  She looked like she was on the verge of rolling for two months before it started, so perhaps this is just a fakeout.  I have been searching the internets for a way to stop time, and a Dr. Hassan Katsina from Nigeria has promised that for $10,000 he will do this for me.

Tubers

 

Have I mentioned that I birth cute babies? Granted, it's only one data point, but it's a hell of a data point.

I've been making baby food and freezing it. MJ's not sure what she thinks about her tubers yet, but the tongue is willing to try anything.

In retrospect

I'm procrastinating today, which means you get two posts in two days. This may be two data points, but it is not a trend. It is most definitely a fluke.
So.... ta da! You get a post about what I would do differently in this whole baby making business. Here they are.
1. I would not gain so much weight while pregnant. I would watch what I eat more carefully. I mostly ignored people that said "you're eating for two now!" I didn't throat punch them, though I wanted to. But some of that message still seeped through, because I gained over 40 pounds while I was pregnant. I stopped weighing myself at 40, which I hit at about 37 weeks. I suspect it was over 45 pounds total. Not drastically outside the realm of normal, particularly compared to some women I've encountered. And I've lost almost all of that (except for the last stubborn 5 pounds or so.) But I was so freaking uncomfortable during my pregnancy. With back and sciatic issues that still nag me somewhat, and all that weight was horrible to drag around. So yes, I will try to keep it down next go round, just for my own comfort.
2. I would realize that my supply is more fragile than I thought. I would not assume that if it dips I can get it to come back up. I would wake myself in the middle of the night to pump, even if I'm lucky enough to have another baby that sleeps through the night. I didn't do as much research as I should have about breastfeeding, and didn't realize that your supply isn't established until 6 weeks until I was already at that mark. So I would probably stress less about labor and more about breastfeeding. I would do more homework on breastfeeding and not assume that the lactation consultant will tell me everything I need to know.
3. I would buy things like breastpumps, baby swings, mobiles, etc., before the baby came. I held off, hoping that I could get by without so much stuff. But what it really meant is that I was scrambling to acquire these things after the baby came.
I guess I'm pretty lucky to think that I would change so little.  I read a lot before MJ arrived, and from there just went with instinct.  So far, it seems to be working pretty well. 

Things I wouldn't change:
1. Cloth diapers. I love, love, love them. The week I had to use disposables sucked.
2. Taking time off. It was wonderful to get to spend so much time with my baby (4.5 months!)
3. Returning to work. I dreaded it, but it has been great.
 
4.  Having her sleep in her own crib.  I assumed we would co sleep, because that seemed to be what babies required.  But she was happier in her own crib, and I slept better.  If it works, run with it. 

Sleep, at last

After 6 nights of sometimes-hourly wakings, the child has started to sleep.  The past two nights she has slept through the night.  While I can write some pretty great papers with one data point, two data points is exponentially better, because then I can call it a trend.  So we have two data points, and I'm hoping the trend continues.

I'm fairly certain her wakefulness was developmental, because every time she woke up she was happy and wanted to play.  Very much like the 4 month wakeful, in which they have become newly alert and so excited about the world around them that they can't sleep.  Only this was much more extreme.  I can't hold developmental changes against her, but it did bring to light the fact that we needed to teach her how to fall asleep.  All the sleep books instruct "Put your baby down drowsy but awake so that they can learn to fall asleep on their own."  Which sounds great in theory.  But she always wanted to sleep at ~7, only an hour and a half after I get home.  And rocking her to sleep was some extra time I got to spend with her, not to mention how scrumptious a happily sleeping baby is.  I wanted to soak it in.  Futhermore, I didn't always want to be home by 7 so that she could fall asleep in her crib.

But I have accepted my fate.  She will start having a consistent bedtime, with few exceptions.  She will fall asleep in her crib.  On her own.  We tried it last night, and she did great.  For the past week we've been intermittently trying to get her to fall asleep on her own (intermittent, the ultimate sleep no-no) so it wasn't entirely new to her.  But I decided that last night was the beginning of our new rituals.  The end of me rocking her to sleep.  So into the crib she went (with her new soothe-and-glow seahorse) at 8 (because she had taken an evening nap.)  And she fussed.  So I went in and patted her.  She screamed louder.  And then she stopped.  Five minutes later she was asleep.  8.5 hours until her next wake up.  I'd like to think this is the new normal, but only time will tell.  If I can push her bedtime to 8 I think I can live with that. 

What this week has taught me is something I have avoided accepting.  I always thought that parents who give up any-and-all social life after their child is born simply lack willpower.  It's difficult to bring MJ to friends houses, I can see why some people just don't want to deal with it.  But it's not all willpower, especially when they get to be older babies.  You simply can't drag them anywhere and everywhere, even if they are flexible babies.  At some point you have to buckle down and have them fall asleep in their own bed.  At the same time.  Every day.  I hate that this is true, but it is.  It is not fair to her to keep messing with her schedule as she gets more-and-more alert.  Before, she didn't notice what we did or where we took her and had no schedule, so it didn't matter.  Now she does.  So, while willpower is part of the reason for a lack-of-social-life, babies are the other part.  Babies.  Babies.  Babies.  But I swear, they are worth it.

Sleepless - day two

How do women do it?  How do they stay functioning members of society when their little one won't sleep?  She was up for 2.5 hours last night.  I know I've been lucky so far in mamadom; she's been an excellent sleeper.  Even her four month wakeful wasn't that bad; up for ~30 minutes to eat and play a little, then back to sleep.  But this is different, and it's wreaking havoc.  Luckily grandma is here to help, maybe MJ knew this was a good time to get her sleeplessness out of her system.   Come morning, choices are to either come in to work at the normal time, but feel so tired all day I accomplish nothing.  Or get a few extra hours of sleep, but come in to work so late that I accomplish nothing. Choice is beautiful, but I prefer when there's a good option.

Frequently in these last 14 months I've thought about cavewomen.  How did cavewomen birth and raise babies, before modern psychology stepped in?  What would my uneducated instincts do here?  It's hard to imagine, really.  Perhaps we can look at chimps for a clue, but you never see a chimp that looks like they didn't get enough sleep.  When they're tired, they sleep.  If baby needs them, they wake up and deal, then back to sleep.  And daddy chimp brings back whatever food they need. 

Most of the difficulties I've encountered in child rearing so far stem from these myriad expectations that we've placed on ourselves.  If I didn't have a job, didn't care whether my house was clean (it's not) and didn't worry about satisfaction beyond my children then there wouldn't be a problem.  I'd be able to focus on breastfeeding, sleeping and existing.  It's easy to say that if we had adequate parental leave policies then things would be better, but it's not that simple.  I know in Europe some countries allow a year off for the birth of a child.  That sounds nice, but, at least in my field, it's unrealistic.  How can you stay current on science and technology when you're gone for a year?  Especially if you want more than one kid.  When you add time spent pregnant, which is at a minimum a distraction from your job, then you're gone for 2+ years if you have 2 children. 

Even if the law mandated it, the reality would still not bring satisfaction.  It reminds me of the requirement to make concessions for disabled students.  Physical concessions are easy to make in mentally demanding places, like college.  But mental concessions can only get you so far. You still have to do the work.  In the workplace, adequate parental leave policies wouldn't make up for the fact that we wouldn't be here.  How can you give tenure to someone that hasn't produced anything because they've been having babies?

So why have we as women built this can't win situation for ourselves?  I blame it on biology.  If society continues to function similar to how it does now, it won't take long before we evolve to have children later in life. To some extent this is already happening.  Many women postpone having children, and if they wait too long then they don't reproduce.  Those that are able to have children late in life reproduce and pass on that genetic capability.  Our life expectancy has increased but our reproductive expectancy has not. 

And I also blame ourselves.  Men didn't really want to give us the right to work outside the home.  I know it was a hard fought battle, but some days I wish I didn't have that choice.  Being as the choices I have now are not good ones, maybe not having the choice at all would be better. 

And maybe I'll feel differently once I get a little sleep.

I miss sleep

I just slept in my office.  There were times, in my younger days, when I snuck a nap in my office.  But they always involved staying out too late partying.  This is, instead, due to my daughter staying up too late partying. 

My Mom got in town last night, and I swear MJ knew it.  Her flight got in long past MJ's bed time.  I gave Mom the rundown of everything that has changed with her granddaughter since the last time she saw her.  Briefly, the list is:

1)  She's mobile now.  She doesn't move terribly quickly, but she can get herself into trouble if left alone.  That means the only safe places to put her while you dash downstairs to switch the laundry over is her high chair, her crib, her swing or her exersaucer.  Everything else she can push herself out of.  Or tries to ingest.

2)  Noises!  So many noises.  Bubbles.  Tongue clicks.  Shrieks.  They're lovely, but can be frightening if you think something might be wrong.  Nothing's wrong.  She's just loud.

3)  She's the cutest human on the planet.  No, wait, that's not new.  She's just cuter than her previously cutest-human-on-the-planet status.

So after my late to bed turn in, MJ must have smelled her Grandma.  Not that Grandma smells, maybe MJ just has a super human nose.  From 1am - 4 am she was wide awake and happy as a clam.  Yes, it was glorious, but that nap in the office was necessary, else I would have melted into a puddle of mama-juice on the floor.  What I wouldn't give for a good solid 9 hours of sleep. 

Just like Vito