6 months

It's been one of those crazy days.  Where you woke up at 1:30, which sort of starts everything off on a tired note.  Where I run around trying to cram 7 days worth of lab work into my tiny-little-friday, inevitably screwing some of that up, spilling nitric acid all over the place because it turns out even teflon can melt if subjected to high enough temperatures for long enough. 

But I'm going to be leaving here shortly, to pick you up and spend a whole weekend together.  And I can't wait.  I can't wait to soak in more of your neverending love.  Your never ending, no strings attached love.  I guess there really are strings (funny how you expect to be fed and changed.  one or the other is simply not enough.) and someday the love might be misplaced for a while.  But right now you have nothing but love for us, in your little 6-month-the-world-revolves-around-me way. 

I had lunch with a friend today, who has a 2 month old and has not yet returned to work full time.  I talked about how hard it is to be away from you so much, but how I love what I'm doing and I hope in the end, that's enough.  I'd love to be able to do both jobs full time, but there simply aren't enough hours in the day.  So know that I love you.  And more than a small part of the reason I'm still working is that someday I want you to be able to have it all.  I want you to be able to be a smarty-pants successful woman who is also a great mother.  How can I ask that of you if I can't do it myself?

I hope you look back on your childhood and don't remember how much I missed but how much I was there for.  Because I might miss some things.  But I hope I don't miss too much, and I hope that in the end what's most important is what we share.  You're the best thing that has ever happened to me.  While it's amazing that 6 months has gone by already, I think I'm even more amazed that it's only been 6 months.  That you have achieved all this in 6 short months.  Think how much you can do in a lifetime?  I have no doubt, little one, that you will do it.