Crazy kids.

It is a point of fascination to me that the parents who have the most to say have the least time to say it.  I seemed to have a lot to say, and a lot of advice to offer, when I had a wee 3-month-old.  I am embarrassed to look back at those posts.  Truly, I knew so very little.

And the more I have to say, with real meaning and content, the less time I have to say it.

I haven't had time to say how I lost Greta at the playground the other day.  Only for about 2 minutes, but goodness, that girl can run, and I know how far she can get in 2 minutes time.  I found her happily kissing a baby she had just met.

Which she is wont to do.  Kiss babies she has just met.  She is the sweetest, gentlest little girl with other people's babies and other people's dogs.  Not, so much, with her own dog and her own baby.  Though she is obsessed with always making sure Teddy has a toy (even if it may be a terrible choking hazard) and feeding the dog, so at least she's interested in their well being.

I haven't had time to discuss watching MJ flirt with a boy at the same playground.  How she stuck her hip out and perched her hand there, taunting "You want someone to kill?  Bet you can't kill me!"  (Which sounds weird, but the boys were apparently playing a shooting game and that was her way of working herself in).  One boy, in particular, chased her all over.  And then she stole his sword (I kid you not) and he wrestled her to get it back.  It was so awkward and so terrifying of things to come that I had to remove myself to the other side of the playground so I didn't lose my mind.  I'm sure she didn't know she was flirting, but that's exactly what it was and she wouldn't have talked to another girl that way.

MJ has become obsessed with history.  "Real stories that really happened".  We've read about Harriet Tubman and Harry Houdini and Jumbo the Elephant and Annie Oakley.  She wants to be a pioneer for Halloween.  It is the first academic interest I've seen blossom in her and it's wonderful.  I constantly have to remind myself not to push her, because any time I do she rebels and gives up.  If I let it come to her in her own time she is usually quite determined to figure it out.  Which is why our attempts at reading so far have not been very fruitful, because I push her and it makes her hate it.  I remember feeling the same as a little girl, when I was pushed to ride my bike or swim.  I still feel antagonism towards those activities, and I don't want to curse her with the same feelings.  So I try to be patient, and encourage these passions when they arise.  Sometimes I do better than other times.

Greta, however, will sit and work at a puzzle until she figures it out.  I remember sitting down with the same puzzle with MJ at 2 1/2 and her struggling and getting so angry.  G is definitely the more patient of the two.  She is also fascinated by building things, legos and and shapes that fit together.  But her language is slower to develop, as well.  I am so curious to see how these little differences will shape them into different people.  

Greta, already grabbing things from me and saying "NO, I DO IT".  Insisting on dressing herself, which she is not at all capable of doing yet.  Today she spent ten minutes walking around with both legs through one short hole, simply because she wouldn't allow us to help her fix it.  

And then there's Teddy.  The baby.  He is off in the corner, quietly teaching himself to crawl.  And, really, he's basically done it.  He's slow, but he moves where he wants to and gets his hands on all sorts of things.  In some ways he's being forced to grow up a little quicker than the others at this age.  He's six months now, so he's starting to eat solids.  But I don't really have time to sit and feed him purees so I am basically giving him things to feed himself.  Baby led weaning, out of necessity rather than out of choice.  

Our house.  It is a crazy, crazy place.  Walking in the door if I've been away from them is like crossing a threshold from the calm, sane place the world generally is, to a screaming, hairpulling, wrestling whirlwind of little children.  I like to take them into the world, because I get to step back (sometimes) and see them for the cute that they really are.  We took them to a "Music in the Park" event last week, and it is always so enjoyable to see the smiles they bring to strangers faces.  Greta stomping her one foot while twirling, completely out of time to the music.  MJ prancing around, pretending she's a ballerina.  Teddy grinning, toothless, at everyone who walks by.  

It is a privilege to spend my days with them, when I can remember to let the little things go.  Like the 3rd spilled cup of milk, or 2nd time G has stuck her hand in her poopy diaper, or the 5th time MJ has burst into tears because I've told her no more sweets.  I always said I wanted a house full of chaos, and it turns out that is exactly what we have achieved.

May Days

Before Teddy was born, during the sunset of 2013, my Mom was fond of saying that 2014 would be the year that I just wouldn't remember.

While the details feel so intricate to me now, I fear she may be right.  Although Teddy is sleeping much better than he was, he is still up twice a night, followed by a 6 am wakeup from the big kids.  I seem unable to fall asleep before 10:00 on most nights.  So I spend much of my day in a haze, with days (like today) that I question whether I should even be driving.

May started a few days ago, right?  Isn't Cinco De Mayo in a couple days?

Sadly, no, that was 16 days ago.  So perhaps I really will forget this year, and I should write down a few things.  I like bulleted lists.  So here's a few events of late.

1.  Tonight we went to the end of year picnic for MJ's school.  It is such a magical place, with goats and llamas and chickens and rabbits and ponies and burros.  Although she enjoys animals now, when she was a toddler we'd take her to the zoo or the aquarium and she was bored unless there was something to climb.  Completely uninterested in the animals around her.  Greta, on the other hand, is nuts for animals.  Absolutely cannot get enough of them.  Although MJ loves this school, I think Greta would be in absolute heaven.  We'll see.  We had planned to send MJ there next year for kindergarten, but she got into a public school down the block from our house and will not be returning in the fall.  We are excited but will miss this magical place.  Perhaps Greta will come in a couple years.

2.  A week and a half ago my Mom arrived.  I had a long list of projects to accomplish while she was here.  During her stay I: built 4 different pieces of patio furniture, a bunk bed, installed the water line for the automatic ice maker on our fridge, cleaned our basement and packed a bunch of baby clothes for my sister in law, fixed a shelf, fixed a lamp, planted bulbs, installed an internet camera, and spread mulch over our front yard.  This is on top of a lot of cleaning and cooking and general wifeliness.

In addition to feeling so accomplished, it was so nice to have my Mom here.  I dare say I enjoyed her visit much more than her last visit.  I so dreaded her departure last time that it almost prevented me from enjoying her stay.  I realized that she and I are alike in this.  If something is hanging over my head, I can't enjoy the moment I'm experiencing.  This is also why I would rather flee town in the middle of the night than have to say goodbye (which she does, too, starting her drive at 3 a.m.!)  We also had some wonderful conversations that made me realize how well she knows me.  Now, being a parent, it often boggles my mind that I used to be the flailing toddler on the ground that she had to endure.  It's not that I thank her so much for those moments, it's that I thank her for continuing to come back and put up with me in spite of them.

3.  The girls have been sharing a bedroom since last August.  It has gone exceptionally well.  There was a short spell in December where MJ was waking Greta up in the morning.  Since MJ often wakes up long before G, this led to a very tired Greta and a very grumpy Mom.  We moved MJ's mattress into another room for a week, as a way of driving home that if she wakes her sister up she can't share a room with her.  During that week both girls slept poorly, with many middle of the night wake ups.  It was really more of a punishment for me, apparently.  So we moved them back together and it has continued to be wonderful.  Until a week and a half ago Greta was still in her crib and MJ was in her toddler bed.

But over the past month I have wanted the crib for Teddy; he was in a pack and play or a smaller crib, but I was convinced it was time to transition.  Furthermore, with my Mom in town, it was a good time to assemble a major piece of furniture.  So we bought one on Amazon and assembled it a week and a half ago.

The girls were so excited.  It was a major project.  8 man hours spent building this thing (5 or 6 of those were woman hours).  Plus the mattresses we bought for it (another major internet research project... mattresses stress me out...)

But it was a rough start.  MJ went to sleep fine, but Greta could not stay in her bed.  Although she had been napping in her sisters bed for months, that was always when MJ was out of the room.  With MJ in the room, in the TOP BUNK, she just wanted to climb up there and play.  MJ would fall asleep and Greta would climb up and pull her hair.  Lots of tears.  Lots of yelling.

So we put Greta in the pack and play.  And the next night.  Many nights.  The first couple nights she wanted to sleep in the pack and play.  The next couple nights she would start in her bed, and then climb out of it, and we would put her in the pack and play.

But finally, we are having some success.  She has now slept in her bed for the past few nights without getting out and bothering her sister.  Then they wake up in the morning and play.  I am back to thinking this was a good idea, but not with enough confidence to fold up the pack and play.

4.  Greta.  Oh, Greta.  If I had any sense at all, this age (22 months) would be my least favorite.  Because she really is a terror.  She's becoming more sweet, but she's still a terror.  She doesn't abuse Vito quite as much as she used to.  She is nicer to her brother than she used to be.  Today I even saw her share and play with another kid.  At the same time, though, she is a runner.  She loves to run away from me.  MJ never did this, perhaps because I could always carry her if there was an issue.  But with Teddy in my arms, Great sees the opportunity to bolt in the opposite direction.  It drives me nuts.  It makes me angry.  And I'm afraid she'll get hurt.  I do not know how to get her to stop.  I think I must just endure it.

But she is so sweet, too.  She loves to cuddle in a way that MJ never did.  She constantly wants to climb into my lap and read books.  Books, books, all the time.  We have a picture encyclopedia that she looks at constantly.  Also a couple Dallas Clayton books.  And, of course, Curious George.  She gives me unprovoked kisses and hugs.  How could I not adore this?  And the chatter.  So much chatter.  I think she's right on the verge of a language explosion; more and more new words popping up, and more complex expressions every day.  I can't decide whether I look forward to more language or not.

5.  MJ is a sweet kid.  She makes me proud to be her Mama 98% of the time.  I am constantly told by strangers how well spoken she is.  And she has finally become a neighborhood kid.  The other kids knock on our fence to ask if she's free to play and are bummed if she isn't.  I expect she'll be leading the pack soon enough, because it seems she's the one that is always furnishing the ideas of what to play.  It is fascinating to watch her become part of her community.  She is so much like her Dad.  And, much like him, she makes me so crazy and so happy, all at the same time.

6.  And Teddy.  My baby.  I am trying to soak up every moment of babyness.  I think if someone could just hand me a 4-month-old, without having to endure pregnancy or newbornhood, I would take it.  Every time. So we'd go from a family of 5 to a family of 15.  He has started to grab faces and pull hair.  Greta looked shocked at first, but now seems to find it funny.  And totally endures it, doesn't try to hit back.  MJ spends a chunk of every day trying to get him to laugh.  It is all so freaking adorable.  I try to remember how adorable it is, always.  Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I fail.

We're back.

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite pictures.  The girls were tremendously good travelers, despite staying at 4 different places in a week.  It makes me want to take them more places. Greta started rolling and laughing this week.  MJ started using incredibly adult sounding expressions this week.  At dinner tonight, MJ turned to me and said "So, Mom, how was your day today?  What did you do?"  I know who she learns these things from (me) but it is so weird to hear them come out of her mouth.  I don't talk to her like a kid, I talk to her like a grown-up, so I shouldn't be shocked that she's starting to sound like one.  But when words like "frustrated" and "compromise" and "suggestion" come out of her little mouth, it still sort of surprises me.

Many thanks to all of our hosts.  Let's do it again sometime.

 

 

 

 

 

10 years.....

So the hubs turns 31 today.  I did the same thing a few weeks back.  Although neither of us can quite pinpoint when, exactly, we started dating, we know that we were definitely dating for our 21st birthdays.  Which means we've been together for 10 years (except for that time, in the midst of dating long distance, when we decided to "see other people").  It's really, really hard to believe.

I can say, without a doubt, 100%, that it's been wonderful.  Perhaps not every moment of every day, but the sum total has been exactly what I hoped it'd be.  Your humor and loyalty have helped get us through everything, and I wouldn't for an instant go back.  I distinctly remember the feeling of dating you at 21, not really having any vision of this grand, huge thing our lives together would become.  This amazing little creature we would create, this dog that we would cherish.  I'm glad I didn't see all that, it would have been too good to be true, and thus terrifying. 

And you've become things I didn't even know were important at the time.  A wonderful father and provider.  A companion for the rough times.  Someone who tolerates me at my worst, and even loves me.  I couldn't ask for more.  Happy 31st.  It wasn't quite the same as your 21st, but I suppose we can really only be 21 once.  Thanks for making these last 10 years the best so far...

Far flung relatives

I didn't really think that MJ had the concept of family down, other than DH, Vito and I.  Our families live far away and represent the furthest reaches of the continental U.S.  But tonight, as I was putting MJ to bed, I realized I was wrong.

In the middle of "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish" she looked up at me and said "I home".  I was nervous how she would take the transition to the new house, but she has done great.  After deciding that she was at her home, she cycled through everyone. 

"Dada?" 
"Dada's at work."

"Doggie?"  (which really sounds exactly like "Dada").
"Doggie's outside."

"Nana?"
"Nana's in Oregon."

"Baba?"
"Baba's in New York."

Then we repeated the list.

In truth, she missed some important people, but I know she'll add them in due time.  It was amazing to me, though, that she only listed family.  There are many people she sees more than Nana and Baba, but they were not listed. 

So here's to you, Grandma's, for making your grandaughter feel loved from a thousand miles away.