Wednesday, January 28, 2009



Haven't posted in a week, probably time for an update. I survived last week. That's the most positive thing I can say about it. I (kind of) passed my big PhD exam and got overy my sickness.

By kind of passed, I mean that my committee essentially doesn't believe the published versions of the Uranium cycle, the understanding of which is crucial to my work. So they want me to recalculate it and write it up by the end of the semester. It's a worthwhile exercise, I don't mind the assignment. But couldn't they have just said "Passed" and then also asked me to do this? Now I have to tell everyone "Passed, with reservations" which is somewhat humiliating. I know logically it's no big deal and not humiliating; they complimented my presentation and my paper. But it's hard to shake the feeling.

As for the whole pregnancy business, the wonder and amazement has worn off a bit of late. I primarily feel sick and fat, not like I'm growing a person. When I imagine growth, I imagine little seedlings popping through the soil. I imagine warm days and eggs hatching. None of these things are happening to me. It is generally below zero, no signs of life anywhere. Sickness and fatness don't endear me to the little creature yet, though I'm sure that will come in due time. I haven't been feeling well enough to head to the gym, making me feel even fatter and more trapped inside. I think much of this funk is just winter getting to me, I shouldn't be taking it out on Button. BTW, I definitely need a better nickname than Button. I keep thinking "Parasite" but that sounds unkind. Maybe Paris for short?

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sick, sick, sick.

This is turning into quite a terrible week. Sunday I (likely) destroy my laptop. Particularly important because friday (day-after-tomorrow) I take my preliminary oral exams (i.e. biggest event of my PhD other than the dissertation defense.) On top of that, my morning sickness kicked in Monday (thankfully only mildly) and I caught dh's cold. Ended up with a fever of 102 last night, so I've been taking acetaminophen all day to keep the fever down.

There's a sad dearth of info. about this. But I did find a little something here: Effects of high fever during the first trimester. I didn't actually start searching google scholar, as I am wont to do, but at any rate I have decided to do what I can to keep the fever down.

Pet peeve of the day: people who post stupid comments in online forums, making it apparent they haven't read any of the other comments and asking for advice such as "Oh my god, I have a fever of 99 degrees and I'm 5 weeks pregnant! Please tell me what I should do!" Seriously? If you had read the article you're posting your question to it would have been answered. This is why I generally stick to google scholar.

Must get more work done, but find myself needing to sleep every hour. I'm getting nothing accomplished. I have fears that my exam is going to be awful but I don't have the capacity right now to work to change that...

Monday, January 19, 2009

7 weeks 1ish day.

First day of puking. Brought on by this nasty cough that dh passed along to me, and the ongoing slight queasiness. I really can't complain, I've been feeling excellent so far. Everyone else I've heard of that gets morning sickness seems to be hit by it in week 5 or 6. Not that I really know my exact "week" but I'm 7 or greater. Biggest problem is probably that all I want to eat is rich comfort foods. So I made some mac n' cheese today. It would be nice to not get fat and pregnant. Just pregnant would be sufficient.

So the 'secret' is mostly out. We told the mothers and father; they told most of the rest. We had asked them to keep it to themselves, but under (over?) estimated their ability to do so. I'm glad they're happy but I'm paranoid something will happen. Though the part of me that wonders if I'm ready for this thinks I wouldn't be devastated if something did happen. I don't think that's actually true, though.

Cute story of the day. DH goes up to our friend B on Saturday and says "I have a surprise for you. Wanna be the first to know?"

B says "Hold on, I'll be right back." Runs in the other room and returns with a card.

Card is signed by all our closest buds. They had even sent it to themselves a week ago in order to prove to us that they had known and were just waiting for us to tell them. T apparently told the group "She's not drinking and they're building a room in their basement. I am 100% positive that she's pregnant."

It's amazing what good friends we have.