Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Haven't posted in a week, probably time for an update. I survived last week. That's the most positive thing I can say about it. I (kind of) passed my big PhD exam and got overy my sickness.
By kind of passed, I mean that my committee essentially doesn't believe the published versions of the Uranium cycle, the understanding of which is crucial to my work. So they want me to recalculate it and write it up by the end of the semester. It's a worthwhile exercise, I don't mind the assignment. But couldn't they have just said "Passed" and then also asked me to do this? Now I have to tell everyone "Passed, with reservations" which is somewhat humiliating. I know logically it's no big deal and not humiliating; they complimented my presentation and my paper. But it's hard to shake the feeling.
As for the whole pregnancy business, the wonder and amazement has worn off a bit of late. I primarily feel sick and fat, not like I'm growing a person. When I imagine growth, I imagine little seedlings popping through the soil. I imagine warm days and eggs hatching. None of these things are happening to me. It is generally below zero, no signs of life anywhere. Sickness and fatness don't endear me to the little creature yet, though I'm sure that will come in due time. I haven't been feeling well enough to head to the gym, making me feel even fatter and more trapped inside. I think much of this funk is just winter getting to me, I shouldn't be taking it out on Button. BTW, I definitely need a better nickname than Button. I keep thinking "Parasite" but that sounds unkind. Maybe Paris for short?