Friday, April 30, 2010

The cuddle quota

I've never read this in a parenting book.  Which means it must be wrong, because if it hasn't made it to a parenting book yet then it is either 1) a ridiciculous myth your mother told you 2) a lie you read on a messaging forum or 3) an idiotic idea you came up with yourself.  This falls under the third category.  Maybe I'll just go write a parenting book, so it will then be parenting-book-approved. 

See over in my side bar?  Where it says "about me" and it says my baybee sleeps a lot?  Through the night even?  No longer true.  That sidebar is now a liar.  For ~2 months now MJ wakes up at least once or twice a night.  I realize that's still pretty good in the sleep department, but we were spoiled.  I've adjusted to the new norm, it's fine, I get a little more MJ time, blah, bla bla (more lies I tell myself.)  But I have a new theory.  I call this theory the "cuddle quota" (sounds like a good parenting book title, no?)

She started sleeping poorly right around the same time that she became very active and alert.  And since she started crawling, about 2 weeks ago, putting her to sleep has been a nightmare.  She screams, she wails.  It's really, really awful. 

But yesterday, after an evening with friends that included lots of Moby wearing, she went to sleep instantly.  This morning she woke up at 5; I brought her into bed with me, gave her a bottle and she fell right back asleep.  I'm curious now if she hasn't been getting enough cuddle time.  She used to be held all day long; now she won't tolerate it, but by the end of the day, maybe her cuddle tank is empty.  I know that if I don't get enough cuddle time I feel... off.  Not as happy.  Could it be that my baby is experiencing the same thing?  By forcing her into the Moby, despite her desire to crawl around, I was forcing more cuddling on her.  By doing some early morning co-sleeping she gets even more cuddle time.

Right now this is one data point.  And ya'll know my love of data points. But thinking back, it seems the nights she gets lots of cuddling she sleeps great, so it's really one data point that agrees with heresay (is that better or worse?)  My plan is to put this plan into action.  And write a parenting book about it.  Even if it doesn't work.


  1. I would like to reserve a copy of your book.

  2. Oh that's such an interesting theory! Since my 3 month old has started going to the sitter for 9 hours a day he has started becoming extremely fussy at night and waking up much more often. Maybe for the same reason as yours? I'm going to try wearing him more on the weekends and see if it helps! Thanks!

  3. Dr. Sears says something about this I's been a while since I read the AP book. I think he mentions them desiring to reconnect with you though. I noticed that wearing my (now 22 month) usually helped keep her content. Maybe not sleep better always, but be more settled and happy. I know how hard it is to get that time in when even they don't seem to desire it though!

  4. I think you are right! You are totally on to something. (Just noticed Maria said Dr. Sears knows about it, too, though.) I love it. I will remember this...