Month 23: our life in pictures

You can see the tale of our days here.  We've had some very hot days, and some much more tolerable days.  We've spent lots of time outside, rain or shine.  Lots of time in the water (harder to take pictures!)  In a few of these pictures, you can catch a glimpse of two of my oldest friends (not in age, but in years).  It was a wonderful visit ; I haven't gotten a chance to spend this much time with these girls since high school, and it was just like old times (okay, not really, but a new version of wonderful).

You can also see in some of these pictures that MJ is climbing to new heights.  She scales the jungle gym without fear, but forces me to squeeze inside to catch her.

The biggest story of the month is language.  It blows me away.  Many new words every day, and three to four word phrases.  I used to be able to easily understand her because her vocabulary was limited, but now her vocabulary is extensive enough I often have no idea what she's talking about. 

Potty training: pretty much non existent.  She's interested but non committal.  She did, however, lift up her leg and pretend to pee on a tree at the park, just like Vito. 

 

Vocalization

One of the most fascinating things about MJ's new found verbage is that I'm gaining more insight into what goes on in her little noggin.  I have often wondered what she's thinking, what she's trying to figure out, but only recently has this become a reality.

Her stream of consciousness is most noticeable during storytime.  And this is the part I find most surprising, because I always thought she was more in the moment than she actually is.  In the middle of a Curious George story ("Joaj") she will bust out with something about her day, like

"Katie bye-bye, home" which I think is something along the lines of "I said bye-bye to Katie before I left for home."  Despite the fact that this happened 4 hours early and was seemingly an uneventful moment.

Or something that happened a week ago.  "No bite Lolo".  Which references a moment a week ago when another little girl grabbed her cheek.  Her expressons are never quite accurate, but (only because I get to spend so much more time with her) her intention is usually discernible. 

I just never before realized the random moments she was thinking about during storytime.  I really thought she was thinking about George the monkey.  Or the wall she was staring at.  I didn't realize she was piecing together moments of her day and week that are still on her mind. 

Far flung relatives

I didn't really think that MJ had the concept of family down, other than DH, Vito and I.  Our families live far away and represent the furthest reaches of the continental U.S.  But tonight, as I was putting MJ to bed, I realized I was wrong.

In the middle of "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish" she looked up at me and said "I home".  I was nervous how she would take the transition to the new house, but she has done great.  After deciding that she was at her home, she cycled through everyone. 

"Dada?" 
"Dada's at work."

"Doggie?"  (which really sounds exactly like "Dada").
"Doggie's outside."

"Nana?"
"Nana's in Oregon."

"Baba?"
"Baba's in New York."

Then we repeated the list.

In truth, she missed some important people, but I know she'll add them in due time.  It was amazing to me, though, that she only listed family.  There are many people she sees more than Nana and Baba, but they were not listed. 

So here's to you, Grandma's, for making your grandaughter feel loved from a thousand miles away. 

22 months: a few of my favorite pics

Most of these pics come from our cabin trip with our (former) neighbors.  Erin did a much more robust post about the wonderful weekend here.

22 months

Oh dear, has it really been a month?  I knew I hadn't blogged in a while, but that is just too much.  So here goes my rambling, guilt filled post.

This has been a big month.  After quitting my PhD, we have spent oodles of time packing, buying furniture for our new house, finding a renter for our old house, closing on our new house, moving into our new house, preparing our old house to be rented, and unpacking at our new house.  It has been a whirlwind.  The only reason I've even been able to see friends is that they sweetly call me up to say they want to see the new place, boxes and all.  If it weren't for the effort on other people's parts, I would never see anyone.  I am a lucky lady.  All of our friends showed up on the (so far) hottest day of the year to help us lug our crap from our old house to our new one.  I am in awe at the home Minnesota has become for us.

As for Miss MJ, she has also had a busy month.  We have dropped her down to 2 days a week at daycare.  We would have taken her out altogether, but I think DH was worried I would go crazy watching a toddler 24/7, and without family around daycare is our only consistent break.  It has turned out to be a godsend, I don't know how else I would have gotten our rental ready.   During our move my Mom visited from Oregon, and they had a blast together.  As tough as the terrible two's are, she is so riotously fun.  I feel like this last month has been an explosion of new skills and new language.  It makes me wonder if I only notice it because I'm around more now and I just missed the others, but I think it's more than that. 

Particularly in the past week, her language has exploded.  We almost have conversations now. 
Granted, only I and a select few others can understand them, because who can really understand a 2 year old?  But we've been talking a lot about poop, and how Vito poops outside, but MJ and Dada poop inside.  What is hers, what belongs to other people.  Up and down.  Outside and inside.  And she is learning so many new words every day, whereas before it was a word every now and then. 

She has also begun to have imaginative play in much more intense ways.  Baby or Elmo are her two favorite toys, and I frequently walk in on her rocking Elmo, giving Elmo a bottle, or changing Elmo's diaper on some contraption she decided is a changing table.  Last night, when DH and I went to sleep, we found Elmo tucked into our bed under 4 hand towels (which are Elmo's blankets).  MJ had been asleep for hours, this was apparently some remnant from earlier in the day.  When she sees me cook, she pretends to cook.  When she sees me clean (a rarity) she pretends to clean.  But she can actually entertain herself with all this.  I can be in the other room for a good half hour while she concocts elaborate ways to comfort Elmo or position her toy trains.  It is amazing and sweet to see. 

We also started gymnastics this month.  By the end of the first class, during which MJ jumped wildly at every opportunity and hung fearlessly from every bar that was presented, the teacher dubbed her "My fearless one".  She is very much in her element, though it is exhausting trying to keep her from injuring herself or someone else while she madly dashes in front of real gymnasts doing actual flips.  The gymnasts in the room have already learned to keep one eye on her before they decide whether it is safe to execute a flip, something I wish was not so.  She is hard to keep tabs on, but I am proud of her fearlessness, much as it makes me afraid for her.  Any fear she lacks is placed onto me.  I could really see her getting into gymnastics, which gives me some hope that her energy might become focused and assuages my fears of her running wild. 

It has been an amazing month.  She was largely unphased by the move and the chaos, and seems to love the new digs.  Space to spread our arms is a good thing, particularly now that I've learned not to regularly lose her and Vito in this gargantuan house.  Our living space increased by about four times, and after getting over the initial shock I am now in love with all the space.  I am not sure how such a tiny human can manage to fill such a large space, but it is an inevitable fact.  She is the most joyous person I have ever met, and she fills my days with light and sunshine.  So far, two is not looming as large as I had feared.

21 months

This photo is pretty representative.  In the time it took me to get two bags of groceries in the house (only one trip) this whole scene transpired.  You found that your kiddie pool had some fresh rainwater in it.  You splashed, got wet and cold.  Managed to get your shoes off.  Tried your darnedest to get your sweater off, until you came trotting up to me in frustration. 

I have to say, getting to spend so much time with you these past couple weeks has been glorious.  You are learning so much every day, I finally feel like I am teaching, not just protecting.  I finally feel like my parenting decisions matter when I see you (sort of, sometimes) starting to share, because you look at me and know you might get a time out if you don't share.  I am seeing that you are always happy and even sometimes nice, which is a lot to ask of a toddler.  You are starting to make me proud of the little person you're becoming. 

You are still fearless.  And strong.  I hadn't realized how crazy it is that you like to climb up on your changing table when you need to be changed until other parents expressed shock at the thought.  Sometimes you don't even tell me you need to be changed, I just walk in and you're sitting there, quietly waiting.

Favorite things: cherries (if only you'd stop eating the pits), books, Elmo, babies (real and pretend), climbing, running, Vito.

My favorite things: watching you learn to communicate.  You've been doing two word phrases for a couple months, but you are now getting more creative.  You are now insistent in being understood, and if we can't figure out what you mean you pull on our hand to show us.  Utterly adorable, even when we don't really want to follow you around.  Your newest word is "alligator", which is really just "al-eaqnlfvdvhdbahqlbhvf" i.e. "al" followed by about two seconds of gibberish. 

Although I gripe about how high energy you are, I also love it.  You are a barrel of fun all the time.  Although you are a challenge, your joyfulness is contagious.  Your spontaneous hugs make me so glad to be home with you; completely unsolicited, completely unexpected.  I am curious how these next few months will go, as you and I settle into the routine of spending so much more time together.  I am excited to teach you more about the world, and to play a greater role in your day to day life.  When I'm with you, I get to see everything for the first time.  Things that have long since lost their fascination, like squirrels, flowers and the moon, are new again.

Make way for ducklings

This was going to be Wordless Wednesday, but I'm not good at keeping my mouth shut. There is a set of duck statues in Boston Garden, and if you've ever read Make Way for Ducklings(or had it read to you) then it's a must see in Boston.  Mj was very attached to one particular duck, kissing him and hugging him. But when she wandered away for a snack, another little girl sat on her duck.  When MJ turned around and saw that her duck had been taken over, she ran over and tried to push the little girl off her duck. It was not my proudest mama moment.

I-so-tope

It's a hot night tonight.  11:30 and still 90 degrees outside.  Our little AC has been full blast for most of the day, trying desperately to cool an entire house when it was only designed to cool a room.  In spite of having found a cool spot to sleep, I cannot sleep. 

The full weight of having quit my PhD is starting to fall on me.  I thought a lot about this before hand, it was not a rash decision, and it needed to happen.  But there are still things that didn't occur to me.  I thought about all this time I would have to raise chickens and can tomatoes and go to the zoo.  I thought about all these new job opportunities that would open up, but it somehow didn't occur to me that most of them don't require any kind of scientific background.  After a four year undergrad degree, plus six more years of scientific training, it is very sad to think that I may have to tuck my science brain away and watch it grow dusty.  I could apply for some full time science positions, though even those don't require the sorts of things I am trained to do.  And, importantly, they don't solve the problem of wanting to spend more time with MJ.  Why are there no part time positions for isotope geochemists with highly specialized training?  That's a tough one to answer, I know.

So I am sad tonight.  Sad to think that I won't get to investigate scientific puzzles.  That I failed at something.  That there is no way to study all these things I want to study without being away from MJ for most of her childhood. 

Furthermore, it's probably a bad sign that after only a few days of staying home, I am already bored.  There is so much to do with the move and all, but my brain is not engaged.   I'm giving myself until the fall to figure things out.  See how I like staying home.  Think about what I want to do with myself.  But I can tell you that after only a few days, the only feasible idea I come up with is to write a book.  Something about how isotopes can save the world.

p.s.  I really want to thank you guys.  Many of you have sent me very sweet, very encouraging emails and comments.  I don't really know how to respond, because I don't really know what I'm doing.  Or what I think.  But I need you to know how much I appreciate your encouragement

Life twin.

Do you have a life twin?  I highly recommend finding one.

When we were in Boston, we got the chance to visit some old friends.  We didn't get to visit as many old friends as we hoped, but you can only do so much in three days.  But, importantly, MJ got to meet Asa.  He took some convincing, but he warmed up to her.

I met Asa's mom when I moved onto her couch for a summer in college.  I had just broken up with a painter.  The painter and I only dated for a few months, but there was massive heartbreak involved.  She had just broken up with some writer-emo-very-sensitive-college-boy.  Also massive heartbreak.  I needed a place to crash for about a month and a half until I left town; Boston's expensive, renting a place wasn't really an option.  I knew her roommate and arranged a couch space. 

And since that time, we've been life twins.  We've drifted in and out of contact.  Dated each others friends.  Both ended up marrying fantastic guys within a couple months of each other.  Both ended up having fantastic kids within a couple months of each other.  Somehow manage to buy the same clothes despite not having seen each other for years.  Needless to say, we have plotted our children's futures together.

Boston, revisited

Boston is not what I remember. More accurately, I am probably not the girl that Boston remembers, while Boston is mostly the same.

Dh and I met in Boston. Almost a decade ago now. I was a senior, he was a junior, and I remember the first mineralogy class when I saw him. I'll save the rest of that story for another time.

But, because Boston is our roots, when Dh found out he had a work conference out here, he begged me to come. I was skeptical. Traveling with MJ is.... hard. Traveling for only four days hardly seems worth it, but the Boston appeal won me over.

But today, my love affair with Boston grew a little tired. It is such a hard city to get around. It takes so long to get anywhere. Cars are unthinkable. So much traffic and noise. Nowhere for a toddler to just run without getting trampled. Needless to say, I didn't notice or care about any of this as a college student. But others must have, because I think I could count on two hands the number of other strollers I saw all day.

Our life is just not the same. So Boston is just not the same.

What's up for tomorrow? DH told me to "live like a doctor's wife, go shopping on Newbury". Oh my, that is a thought. I'm not sure I'm cut out for the life of a plus one.



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Wordless Wednesday

A favorite perch

All sorts of places to sit and piles to climb now that we are packing. Of course she chooses the boxes full of fragile stemware to survey the world from.

It's been quite a week.

I haven't been posting a lot here.  Largely because I've had things on my mind, that I wanted to talk about, but never felt this was the right forum.  I've been frustrated, even depressed at times, by the lack of progress in my life.  Let me start by saying I know how much I have to be thankful for, and I am very, very thankful.  But I think it is human nature to want to move forward in some way.  At least, it's my nature.  And my whole life has been stagnant lately, despite desperate attempts on my part to move it forward.

And then, in the course of a week, it all changes.  After 5 months of house hunting, last weekend we put in an offer on a place.  We were the first potential buyers to see it, it had only come on the market 12 hours earlier, and when we walked in we immediately knew it was home.  It felt so right.  There are things about it that don't fit our "ideal" but we had come to realize how much our ideal would cost, and were worried that we would be house poor if we got something more expensive.  This is the perfect balance of everything we needed.  We made an offer, lower than their asking price, and they took it.  So we move in a month!  Now we are knee deep in packing and trying to clear out things we don't need.  Our agent later told us she had been talking to an agent friend of hers whose clients tried to put an offer in that evening, but it had already been sold.  Good thing we went with our gut....

And then there is the issue of my job/PhD program/the reason my kid is in childcare.  I have been very, very unhappy there.  I have wanted to spend more time with MJ.  I have become convinced that this degree will do me no good now that we've decided to stay in Minnesota forever; academic positions almost always require moving around.  After four years, I am not even close to finishing my PhD.  I felt like it was time to admit it just wasn't going to happen.  The difficulty for me was trying to decide what I want to do with myself instead.  I decided a few months ago that I wouldn't quit until I had a plan.  The problem, though, is that I wasn't getting a plan, I was becoming more unhappy at work, my boss was getting frustrated with my lack of progress, and my heart was no longer in it.  I had moved on, and it was time to just cut ties.  So I decided on Saturday it was time to stop living in fear of what happens next.  I don't know what will happen next.  But not moving forward simply because I was afraid no longer seemed logical.  I decided to stop my PhD, and I told my advisor yesterday.  And for now, I will stay home with MJ.  And what will I do next?  I don't know, but you can bet I'll figure it out.

Wordless Wednesday

My tiny Neanderthal

My head is a bit mushy this morning, likely from spending an entire weekend with a raging toddler. DH worked all weekend, so, with the exception of a few outings, it was MJ and I, one on one. I was desperately looking forward to this weekend. No real errands or commitments that needed to happen. Beautiful weather. An escape from the confines of the indoors.

And it was all that, but spending all weekend with a creature that is very mobile but barely vocal can make a person feel soft in the head. When she was first born, I often wondered when she would surpass our dog in intelligence. I think that happened at about 8 or 9 months of age. I now think she has the intelligence of some sort of early human or primate. Not that I really know what the true intelligence of these creatures are. But there are lots of grunts, little sense of personal hygiene (by our modern standards) and a desire to destroy things. This seems to be in line with what I've learned about Neanderthals from Geico commercials.

We're constantly told by strangers, family and friends how "energetic" MJ is. It seems that way to us, too, but she's our only data point. So a few weeks ago, after a particularly shriek-filled, catastrophe-filled few days with MJ, my husband asked our daycare director if MJ was the most energetic child they'd seen. She laughed and said no, clearly indicating she's not even close to the most energetic child she's seen. But she followed it up by saying "She's the most fearless."

As if to illustrate this point, MJ decided to climb the chain ladder at the playground yesterday. It's about a 6 foot tall ladder, and I didn't think she could get past the first couple rungs, so I watched (and positioned myself to catch). She got all the way to the top, but couldn't climb onto the platform. So what did she do? She let go.

I caught her. But how do you instill fear in a child that doesn't seem to have any? My operating principle so far has been to encourage minor injuries, so she can learn her own limitations. It has worked pretty well, and she has fear of many things she should have fear of, and will now make sure she has good footing on stools and stairs. But she is getting to the point of major injuries, not minor injuries. I had hoped that her learning stairs can be scary would translate to her understanding that 6 foot tall ladders can be scary. But that mental jump is too much, apparently.

Toddler Cage Match: Video Evidence

Toddler Cage Match

It starts out innocent enough....

But give a kid a box and a parent a camera and cage match will definitely ensue. It didn't help that we were shouting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Luckily they don't know what that means yet.