I'm not sure if there's anything more frustrating than being exhausted all day, because you were up way too late and your baby was up way too early, and swearing to go to bed early, and actually succeeding, and then being unable to fall asleep. Actually, I'm sure there are more frustrating things, and I'm sure they will happen tomorrow, but for the time being let's go with it. I'm considering downing some tequila just so I can pass out, but I'm pretty sure that qualifies me as either an alcoholic or someone with a sleep disorder. Either way, that means I would need to see a therapist, and I just don't have time for that.
So I think I've made peace with this whole going back to work thing. At least for the time being. I'll take it one semester at a time, which sounds totally do-able. The thing that helps is the realization that I've gone a little stir crazy this week. DH has been working non-stop. Most people I know are back at work/school post holidays. And so it is MJ and I, which is glorious. But after 4 days of baby-solitude I am longing for more. It's not that I want to give up all the MJ time, but I guess tradeoffs must be made. And I've further realized how much harder it's getting to take her to all of our social events, and this will only get worse. I suspect I will see less and less of my friends over the coming year, as she gets to be more and more of a handful. Yes, she is getting more fun, but the vegetable phase is, in many ways, easier. Or at least lends itself to more outings.
So, now that I’ve spent tomorrow’s full calorie allotment on chocolate chip cookies tonight, stared at the Christmas tree lights contentedly (my husband threatened me when I mentioned taking it down; he’s campaigning for a year round Christmas tree, but we compromised on a January tree,) and settled down a bit, I will return to the marital bed. Hopefully a blog post is as effective at inducing sleep as tequila.