For the first time, I think I understand why we Americans eat so much fast food. When I pick up MJ at daycare at 5:30, knowing she goes to bed at 7:30, that leaves me only 2 hours to get all my baby kisses in. I have started to get up earlier (6!) just to squeeze in a little more happy-baby time, but it is simply not enough. The end result is, if DH is on an evening shift, I'm not about to spend any of those precious 2 hours cooking, and my stomach simply will not allow me to wait until 7:30 to start cooking. Neither will my sanity.
The real end result is that I call in a pizza order.
"We have a special going right now. Buy two mediums and get one free!"
(Without a moment's hesitation) "Yes, that sounds great!"
Because I need 3 pizzas. For me. And my dog. And my non-solid-eating baby. 3 pizzas is a brilliant idea.
Being back at work has been... hard. There's no more eloquent way to phrase it. The upside has been that I have become incredibly efficient... I'm not about to spend time at work, when I could be home with my baby, unless I'm actually working. That means the blog has suffered, and will continue to suffer, but it has become a full-fledged hobby now and I have no intention of giving it up. Though I have a hard time finding the energy to be funny. I have always wanted this to be a funny blog, humor is generally my coping mechanism. But trying to find that spark of humor has been hard. It's easy to find the happy... my morning, rushed as it is, is always wonderful. MJ can be counted on to be happy, happy, happy when she first wakes up. That's evidence of evolution if I've ever heard it. Very few people enjoy waking up at the ass-crack of dawn, but when your baby is all smiles you don't mind. If they were grumpy the human species might have died out a long time ago, as babies everywhere wilted from malnourishment.
The happy is my husband, who can always put a smile on my and MJ’s face, and always wants to, even after a rough shift. The happy is also my evenings, after MJ is asleep, the diaper bag is packed, the dishes are done, and I can relax. I can feel like my old self again. The happy is even my job, where I get to use my brain again, which I have spent a long time cultivating, but most of which I had tucked away because it wasn’t being used.
Now I just have to manage to find the funny again.