Sometimes I pump just so I can surf the internet. So that, if my husband stumbles out of the bedroom to pee (he works odd hours, and thus sleeps odd hours) he sees that I am pumping, not that I am playing on the internet. So that, when he gets home, the whir of the breastpump can distract him from the fact that the house is still messy. He's a good man, I'm not sure that he cares either way, but it makes me feel better.
It's ironic, then, how much of an inconvenience pumping is when I actually need to get work done. I return to work in about 3 weeks and I am/not looking forward to it. I miss adults. But I know I will miss my baby. I have yet to figure out my pumping strategy. I think it may my happen in the bathroom (gross, you say). But there's probably only about 5 women who use our restroom, and there's a little couch in there on which ladies chat on their cell phones, so that I get to hear about their cat while a take a crap. I plan to strike up a conversation with everyone who comes in to use the restroom while I'm pumping.
Which reminds me of a story. (I try to keep these posts short, but this is a good one.) When I was a sophomore in high school I attended the homecoming dance with a guy I wasn't very into. I had agreed to go with him weeks before the dance, and was very disappointed when the guy I actually liked asked me a week before the dance and I had to say no.
So while I was at dinner with guy-I-wasn't-into, guy-I-was-into walked in with his (very hot) date. I felt a little woozy and got up to go to the restroom.
I grew up in a weird town, where hippies go to retire (which often happens at age 19). In the restroom was a woman standing, buck naked, staring at the door. I was already too shaken up by the date incident to know what to say, so I went directly into the stall. And she struck a conversation with me, as though it was the most normal thing in the world that she was there. It wasn't until I left the bathroom that I realized I didn't see a pile of clothes anywhere in the bathroom. I still wonder about that.
Anyway, I aim to be that creepy woman.