Week in the life, Day 2: April 23, 2013

This needs to be quick today, because I have a Mad Men episode I want to watch.  I'll do my best at brevity, and probably won't do a very good job proof reading.  Sorry 'bout that.

5:55 a.m. Greta squawks.  Bottle and swing, and she instantly falls back asleep.

6:something a.m. I hear MJ up. Thankfully she usually goes to hubs first because she knows he's more patient in the morning.  But even he tells her to go back to her room.

7:15 a.m. She's up again.  In my sleepy haze, apparently hubs decides to get up with her and let me sleep.  Jackpot!

8:25 a.m.  Lots of noise in the house, and I'm feeling very awake.  Apparently that's as late as my body will allow me to sleep.  I check my phone, not yet ready to face the chaos.  This is probably why MJ now asks to "plug in her phone" next to her bed, and why we already had to make a "no phone at bedtime" rule, even though it's not even real.  Vito sneaks in to my bedroom, leaving the door open. A couple minutes later MJ spies an open door and runs in screaming.  My day has begun.  I head downstairs to find that hubs has made pancakes, coffee, and emptied the dishwasher. Stellar hubs today, did he know this would be recorded?.  I eat breakfast and feed Greta, while hubs hops in the shower.

9:00 a.m.  Hubs leaves for work.  I need to be at the rental at 10:00 a.m. to meet a furnace guy, so just need to kill some time.  MJ gets dressed to play outside in the snow, and I sit inside with my coffee to watch her.  Perfect way to start the day: quiet for me, exercise for MJ.

I have to nix the car cleaning, even though I don't want to, because she's too close to the road.

9:25 a.m. Back inside. We all get dressed, Greta gets a bottle. MJ comes down the stairs in her wedding gown announcing she is a "principal".  I think she means "princess" but it's too cute to correct her.

"Principal" MJ.

I also get sucked into the "principal" story.  I am apparently the groom.

10:20 a.m. Still no word from the furnace company (they're supposed to call to give us notice to head over).  I call them and they say it will be very soon.   Quick load of laundry.

Got hold of her sisters flute when she wasn't looking.  Tries to blow on it,  gives up and beats the ground with it.

10:49 a.m. MJ is back outside, but it doesn't last long and she announces that she is done with the snow.  "I'm very frustrated, I don't want any more snow."  Yes, dear, we all feel that way.  I call the furnace company again, and they say another 45 minutes.  Greta's already rubbing her eyes.  This doesn't bode well.

Chew beads.  Everything is better with chew beads.

11:00 a.m. They call to say they're on their way.  I confirm that they are doing a furnace inspection and installing a gas line shutoff.  They say they are only doing an inspection, this guy doesn't do gas line shutoffs.  I'm fed up and tell them I'll be finding a new company.  So now, a morning wasted and nothing accomplished.  The snow doesn't make me want to go anywhere, but still....

11:10 a.m. I put Greta down for a nap and put some tea on for MJ and I, so she can use her new little mug I got her in Vegas. I give her the iPad since Greta's asleep and get some more rental stuff done, including finding a new heating company.

11:20 a.m. MJ turns to me and asks "Are taxes a boy?"  A few weeks ago she heard me groan a lot about doing taxes, and even pretended to do her own, but this is a confusing question.  Even when I explain why it's a confusing question we are both at a loss.  She loses interest and watches more Curious George.    At some point I decide that the annoying sounds of Curious George are not doing much to help me maintain sanity so I ask her to watch it in her bedroom for a little bit.  

12:20 p.m. Dad comes home and sneaks into MJ's room.  He manages to climb up next to her before she notices and screams with delight.  George is done, time for lunch.  PB&J, as per usual.   Quesadilla for mom.  Pasta with clam sauce (yuck!) for Dad.  The kitchen is busy and we all chatter.

12:50 p.m. Greta wakes up, smiling from ear to ear.  Love how much this girl loves life.  Discuss more rental issues with hubs; we had a fire safety inspection and have several findings we have to fix, including what to do with a room we put in the basement that we never pulled a permit on.  Tear it down?  Get a permit?  The whole thing sounds like more time than I have time for.  Also need to paint a garage, install new deadbolts, fix two doors, etc.  Not sure when I'll find time for it all.  Not excited to pay someone else to do it all, either.

1:00 p.m. MJ gets in big trouble for turning the heater in Greta's room on.  I try to scare her a bit, explaining the fire hazard, but she just doesn't seem to get it.  

1:15 p.m.  Nap time for MJ.  We read "Ivy & Bean", which I'm enjoying, and which MJ seems to enjoy, though I'm not sure how much she's understanding of it. 

1:30 p.m.  Lunch for Greta.  Make some pasta for her try feeding herself.  I hear lots of banging upstairs as MJ defies nap time.  Make some more baby food for G with plans to freeze it.  Clean up from lunch.

2:25 p.m.  Finally throw in the towel on a nap.  I go in, she's laying on the floor with her feet up in the air. We clean her room (I secretly love that she's so good at entertaining herself in her bedroom, even if it means a mess and no nap). We wait for dad to finish a phone call to go grocery shopping.

The daily room clean up.  Not too bad today, but trying to avoid reaching critical mass.

3:00 p.m. Leave for Whole Foods.  Hubs and I constantly disagree about whether "organic" is worth the money, but since I do most of the grocery shopping and most of the cooking I usually win.  Furthermore, we have fewer meltdowns at Whole Foods because I don't have to argue against Cinderella toothpaste and purple cheerios (both real Target arguments).  Hubs takes MJ, I take Greta in the cart, who is a perfect angel despite having been awake for going on 4 hours.   I hear shrieking the next aisle over, know it's my kid, and sort of hope that they stay over there so I don't have to acknowledge that it's my kid freaking out.  I see my cubicle neighbor from my last job and feel too awkward to say hi.  The last time he saw me I was 9 months pregnant so he prob didn't recognize me, anyway.  Dad finally gives up and takes MJ to the car.  I finish in peace, except for accidentally deleting my grocery list from my phone.  But without a whining threenager I have the time to go slow and don't think I forgot anything.  Greta briefly falls asleep in the car.  I guess that's the afternoon nap.

4:10 p.m. Back home and unload the essential (i.e. frozen) groceries.  I planned to make meatball hoagies, but the sun is out and the snow is almost gone and MJ wants to scooter.  I give in, this spring has been too crappy to let a single moment of nice weather go unappreciated.  We stop at the playground where some older girls befriend MJ.  She loves it, and they're so sweet to her.  This has not been her experience lately, and I hope we run into them again.  Hubs leaves for work and we say hi as he drives by.

Apparently all my sunglass photos are weird, but at least Greta's cute.Love that tongue.

Getting pushed on the swings by older girls = heaven.

4:35 p.m. Back home when the cold wind finally got to be too much.  I make some frozen ravioli, but MJ is so hungry even that is a hard thing to wait for.  I feed Greta while the food cooks: quinoa mixed with spinach and beef.  Also yogurt with applesauce.  And some cheese, for the first time.  She loves all of it.

5:00 p.m. Finally we are all eating.  I give some more cheese to Greta so she can "eat" with us.  Both of my girls look like they're going to fall asleep while eating.  MJ turns to me and says "Mom, I'm pretty fragile."  It's an expression I use when she's tired and easily upset; I can't help laughing at her mournful little face.  But the food perks her up considerably.

My "fragile" girl.

She climbs in my lap after eating.  Proof that she is, indeed, fragile.

5:20 p.m.  I somehow get confused about time, thinking it's 6:20 when it's only 5:20.  I was getting G ready for bed before I notice.  So instead, we all get in jammies and just play.  MJ and Greta lay in my bed laughing for a long time; MJ keeps tickling her and poking her to get her to laugh.  It looks too rough to me but G loves it, so I guess it's okay.  After a while we go downstairs to clean the kitchen from dinner.  I let MJ have a piece of candy, which takes her about 40 minutes to eat.

Some pre-bed rough housing.  MJ as instigator, Greta as encourager.

6:10 p.m. I start Greta's very brief routine, and she goes down without a fuss.  Tired girl, it's no wonder.     I agree to play the "Big sister" game with MJ, no really knowing what I'm agreeing to.  But MJ is usually content to have me do very little in her games, as long as she gets to be in charge.  This game involved her putting me to bed, and me getting to lay there for a while as she did who knows what else.  Then she came and woke up and we went to "Lizard Land".  I nixed the going-outside-in-our-jammies part.  

6:40 p.m. Teeth brushing time.  Then quite a few stories.  Before the end of the Ivy & Bean chapter we read she asked if she could crawl in bed.  

Two very tired girls today.  Here's hoping they sleep all night.   And now for some Mad Men....

Week in the life, Day 1: April 22nd, 2013.

Four times a year, Laura over at Navigating the Mothership does a "Day in the life" round up.  I participated for the first time last fall, on a dare.  I loved it. It turns out, this time in my life is comprised primarily of details.  Yes, there are overall themes, but they are the same for me as they are for every parent of young children: lots of diaper changes, never enough sleep, difficulty trying to maintain sanity, etc.  If you've had little kids I suspect this is all very familiar to you.  It is really the details that are memorable, and those I so often fail to capture.  The cute thing my kid said, or the frustration of cleaning play-doh out of the rug yet again.  So that's what these blog posts are good for.  Once a year, Laura challenges folks to a week-in-the-life.  This will be my first.  I'm not sure it will work, or that it won't bore you all to tears.  But I'll give it a shot.

7:00 a.m.  Greta squawks a bit.  I get up, take the bottle I prepped the night before and left on the banister, and give it to her.  My last several day-in-the-lifes have been on a 24 hour clock, because newborns suck like that, but this time I'm happy to report my day starts at 7:00.  It has been 6:00, which I can never seem to adjust to.  7 I can do, and I hope this is a trend.   She seems sleepy so I put her back in her crib and go back to bed.  I can hear her coo and eventually calm.  I only sleep lightly, but it's still nice.


7:20 a.m.  MJ is up.  We've had problems getting her to sleep past 6 am, so this is also a nice treat.  She plays in her room until 7:30 ("when the clocks match", i.e. when the picture of a clock in her room lines up with the actual clock in her room).  She comes into our room and asks for the iPad.  This is new!  I was out of town over the weekend (girls weekend in Vegas!! Glorious!) so Dad apparently broke some rules in my absence.  I say no and suggest that she can crawl into Greta's crib (who is now fully awake in the other room).  She does and proceeds to shout "Greta!!!  Greta!" for what feels like ten minutes.  It's loud and annoying, but Greta is laughing so I let it go.  When I finally go in Greta's sitting up in her crib.  This is also new.  She can now go from laying down to sitting up, and it's weird to see.  Glad we got her sleeping well before this new discovery....

7:50 a.m.  We finally all head downstairs (except for hubs, who I let sleep in since he watched the girls all weekend.  He has no early meetings and has to work late, so it's a nice treat.) I give Greta a muffin I cut up; she's experimenting with finger food and I baked these a few days ago.  She loves them, and Vito loves all the crumbs.   MJ gets "hot buttered toast", in homage to "Mercy", a series of books she's been obsessed with about a pig who loves hot buttered toast.  They're a nice change of pace and I find that I also love them.  And I also love hot buttered toast, so win all around.  And, of course, coffee for me.  Even though I'm caught up on sleep these days, I couldn't exist without it.

Muffin love.

Self portrait with dishes.  My hair is truly frightening in the morning.

8:30 a.m.  Breakfast is done.  MJ and I hatch a plan of going to the YWCA, so I start getting dressed and getting our things together.   I hide in the bathroom for 8 minutes of peace; MJ has not stopped talking since waking up and the mindless prattle really gets under my skin.  Can't believe I've only been out of bed for an hour, the number of words she has fit in makes it feel much longer.  We have been talking a lot about asking "thoughtful questions" but I try very hard not to discourage legitimate curiosity.  It's a fine line.  I go upstairs to get some things, and hubs is in the shower.  We discuss some life decisions through the shower curtain, which is how things seem to be done these days.  I finally sit down and give Greta another small bottle before leaving.

9:25 a.m. We finally depart.  How did it take so long just to get out of the house?  5 minutes later I am at the Y, and I drop the girls off at the kids area.  Greta is a bit more clingy than usual and I stay with her a bit.  By 9:40 I'm on the treadmill and enjoying some mindless Friends rerun and a light jog.  I usually shower after but today just couldn't get it together, so I putz around for a bit before going and getting the girls.

10:30 a.m  Go back to the kids area. Greta's asleep so I play with MJ a bit and read to her.  The ladies are both very nice, grandmother types, but they both feel the need to impart their vast wisdom to me ("She doesn't like her shoes", "She doesn't like the snack you packed, you should pack something else", etc.) 

10:50 a.m. Greta wakes up, so we pack up and go.  I lose my cool with MJ a bit in the parking lot, and vow to stay more patient because there's still a very long day in front of us.  

11:00 Head back home and eat an early lunch.  MJ has peanut butter and jelly (of course, that's all she ever wants) but at least has some broccoli with it.  I let her have a gummy candy after; I brought her back some from Vegas, and she chooses the large "J" I brought.  Greta wolfs down a mix of lentils, chicken, sweet potato, couscous and broccoli.  I feel pretty lucky that both my girls are such good eaters and will try most things.  I also start steaming some more baby food for Greta as we are almost out.

Preparing to scooter.  I love how much these girls love each other.

12:00 p.m.  I see the sun occasionally peeking through the clouds and decide to take MJ outside to scooter.  I put Greta in the Moby and we head out.  This spring has been total crap, so any chance to play outside must be seized.  And we just got hit by another  snowstorm this afternoon so it was a good decision.  We see our neighbor who had a baby about 3 weeks ago and briefly chat.  As MJ scoots ahead I can hear her testing out her "naughty" words, saying things like "stupid", "damn" and I'm not sure what else.  I ask her what she's saying and she looks uncomfortable.  She lies and says something nonsensical but I let it go, figuring she's testing out her vocabulary in a harmless way.  We wander a bit too far and the cold sets in, so there's lots of whining from MJ and grunts from Greta as we all head back.

I decide to do a self portrait on our walk, only to realize I have my hideous sunglasses on that make me look particularly weird. This, coupled with a baby coming out of my torse, explain some weird looks.

Resting at our turn around.  She talked me into walking all the way to Summit today.

12:30 p.m.  Although I had thought MJ might not nap today, given that she wasn't up early, it becomes clear on the way back that she's tired and grumpy.  So I force her to lay down, against her wishes.  We start with a story (Mercy, of course) and I tuck her in.  Greta's pretty fussy throughout story time so I hope she'll go down for a nap soon, as well.   

12:40 p.m.  MJ's in bed, so I get some time to just play with Greta.  She's such a sweet, happy baby.  98% of my frustrations in the day are centered on MJ, and Greta really gives me no stress.  She's so happy, content to just play and I just love this age.  I give her a small bottle (she's not drinking much these days).  She starts waving at me, a pretty new trick of hers. 

This one also fought the sleep, and also lost.

1:00 p.m. MJ comes downstairs and says she's not tired. I send her back and tell she has to stay there until I come get her.

1:20 p.m.  Goodness, another poopy diaper, already the 3rd today.  We're fighting a rash and have been mostly in disposables; the same issues we went through with MJ and cloth diapers.  I decide Greta seems tired and hope it's not just wishful thinking.  I put her in the crib and expect a bit of a fight but she calms instantly.  I check on MJ, who is sound asleep.  I sit down for a moment and pull up Greta on the camera- she's sitting up, not falling asleep.  But I decide to enjoy my peace while I can and do some work on the computer.  When I check her again she's still sitting up but swaying back and forth; I can't see her face but think she's falling asleep.  I'm afraid she'll fall asleep and hit her head on the crib, so I sneak in to lay her down and she goes right to sleep.

Fighting the sleep, but swaying.  

2:05 p.m.  I hear rustling.  I look at the camera and she's awake, sitting up again.  This time she decides to lay down again.

2:20 p.m. MJ is up.  Lucky thing.  Usually when she does take a nap I have to wake her or she would sleep 3 hours and have trouble falling asleep at night.  This is a good length of nap.  I let her climb in bed with me, where I'm working on my computer, and watch the iPad.  I only really let her watch TV/iPad if Greta is asleep.  She enjoys it, actually gets something out of it, I think, and the calm is much needed.  Today it's "Eloise".  

2:30 pm.  More sounds from Greta's room, and when I look she's sitting up again.  This time she's upset, but I know that wasn't a long enough nap. I give her a moment and she falls back asleep.  Apparently the novelty of being able to sit up whenever she wants is very exciting.

2:45 p.m.  I've finished the computer stuff I need to, so I get a shower and throw in some laundry.

Look mom, just one hand!

Their games often look annoying to me, but they seem to love them.

3:15 p.m.  Greta wakes up, this time for real.  She smells overwhelmingly like puke; this girl yaks so much still, I'm really ready for it to stop.  I change her and we play some more.  She practices standing, which she'd be happy to do all day long if I helped her.  She also practices waving some more.  She's getting confident standing while holding on with one arm and has tried standing  along a few times.  This girl is relentless in her quest to walk

3:40 p.m.  I decide to make quesadillas as a snack/early dinner, since I know our actual dinner will be late and minimal.  I give Greta some cut up sweet potatoes and she loves them.  She loves feeding herself but I have a hard time thinking of good things to give her.  I play "bride and groom" with MJ; I need to get better at playing pretend games with her, because she loves it and she doesn't have as many opportunities for other people to play them with her as she should.  

Bride MJ.

4:30 p.m.  MJ is driving me batty.  I have no patience for 3 yr olds. Loud, non-stop talking and she just will not give me any space.  After I ask for some space and she seems hurt I feel bad.  I let her watch some TV, because it seems the only way I can get her to give me some distance, and my patience is apparently low today.  I figure better to allow some TV than force her to put up with an impatient Mom.  I must get better.  I put some laundry away and clean up the kitchen.

5:15 p.m. Time to get ready to go.  We are going to the "Blessing of the Animals" at our church today.  I am not excited about it, given that Greta's rubbing her eyes, the snow is coming down and I just feel like it will be very hard.  I try to talk MJ out of going, but she's been excited for weeks, because Vito gets to come to church.  So we all get dressed and pack up.  I am very grumpy about this, I'm not proud to say.   I know I could say "no" but she's so excited.  

Our snowstorm.  Twice weekly, it seems.

6:00 p.m.  We arrive.  I am juggling a 3 year old, a baby in a car seat, a diaper bag and a dog on a leash.  The moment we walk in and Vito starts going nuts about all the other dogs I know that I have taken on too much.  He is so yappy, and I have a hard time calming him down.  We put in a contribution for dinner, of which I got to eat about 5 bites but at least MJ ate quite a bit.  The minister introduces herself to me, but this is about the 6th time she's introduced herself to me.  I find this pretty annoying; I don't think I'm that hard to remember, given that I am always present with a very wild 3 year old and a cutie-pie baby who can't stop smiling at everyone.  When she asks if I've been before and I say "Yes, about 6 or 7 times" she looks embarrassed, as she should.  I have loved how welcoming this church has been, but tonight was apparently not a good night, because only one person offered assistance when I clearly had my hands so over-full.  Yes, it's my fault, but isn't it supposed to be a church family?  Furthermore, during the short worship service, we all stood in a circle and MJ insisted on dancing in the middle during the hymnal and even during some of the spoken tribute.  At least it's not her Gangnam Style dance, and it was kind of innocent and cute, but considering that Vito kept yapping and I was the only person sitting on the floor because I was trying to calm him and hold Greta, the whole thing was ridiculous.  I'm sure people either found us riotously funny or totally heathen, but probably nothing in between.  Vito did get his dog treat and his blessing, though, so hope he appreciated it.

7:00 p.m.  I drag everyone back out into the snow.  We drive the short distance home.  I am so glad to be back, and so glad that bedtime is nigh.  I put Greta to bed (diaper, bottle, songs) and she goes right to sleep. Meanwhile, MJ has been packing for a trip and has turned our kitchen into a hotel room.  I get her to clean it up and help her clean up her room.  We finish a Mercy book and start reading "Ivy and Bean".  I love that we are into chapter book territory.  

8:10 p.m.  MJ is in bed.  I have some leftover pie in my hand.  I sit down to write (only getting interrupted by MJ coming out of her room once).  Hubs comes home about 9:30. It takes me until almost 10 to finish this, so tomorrow will definitely have to be shorter. It will all start over again at 7 a.m., if not sooner..

A rare 5 minutes of peace.

And I'm spending it thinking about the sleeping children.

This is our first full week of really, truly, all being home together.  My first week home my Mom was visiting.  Then we had a trip up north (where the hubs took MJ and I took Greta to different friends houses.... sort of a guys weekend, girls weekend thing, but with parenting duties still intact).  Then a few days later my mother in law was in town.

But now, this week, we're doing this.  Full time.  And it's hard. But I'm already learning some things.

1)  I'm having to lean on electronic media more than I would like.  I had grand plans of having preschool time every day, working with MJ on reading and writing and all those important skills.  The truth is, she has little tolerance for learning these things from me.  And as soon as she stops listening, I get frustrated and start threatening.  It's no good and I'm not doing very well at figuring out how to navigate it.  So I've started resorting to PBS Kids games for some teaching, because she really just refuses to have me teach her unless I'm very sneaky about it.  I know part of it's the age, and I'm not versed in how to deal with it.  But part of it is just us clashing.

2) I'm also getting in the habit of letting her watch TV when Greta naps.  If I don't, I often get no break in the day.  I'll be fine for a while but by early evening I start to lose it.  By having that break in the middle of the day, and time apart from each other, I do a little better keeping it together.

3)  We bought a bigger house a couple years ago so that we'd have space to spread it.  It helps, but I've learned that when there's a 3-year-old it doesn't matter, because she wants to be up in your grill all the time anyway.  She's pretty good at entertaining herself, but she still wants to be wherever I am and often wants me to play some peripheral character.  I just have to be present to play the role but still the lack of quiet gets me.  The non-stop chatter drives me insane.  I know I'd miss it if it was gone (as it will be in 10 years) but I thrive on a certain amount of quiet in my day.

4) We've started to do away with naps for MJ and instituting an earlier bedtime.  It has been working really well and she actually seems less tired than she used to be.  Previously she would nap for 2-3 hours but then have a hard time falling asleep at night and be up until 9 or later.  The other advantage is that we now only have to work around one napping schedule.  And Greta's napping schedule is all in flux since we instituted a hard-line on sleeping at night and stopped giving her bottles.  We had a tough couple nights, but even at the worst she never cried for more than about 20 minutes and never really did more than fuss.  It wasn't nearly as tough as I expected, and the not getting up 4 to 5 times a night is making me a saner person.  So lots of sleeping changes around here, but when the dust settles I think we'll all be better off.

5)  MJ misses her friends desperately.  I somehow underestimated the validity of 3-year-old friendships and thought they'd be soon forgotten.  But she loves fiercely so perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.  I need to do better about getting out to play with other kids every day.  And I need to find her a regular play group.  If this weather would ever finally turn to spring it'd be a lot easier.

6)  Last, but not least, I made a boy at the playground cry yesterday.  It's the same indoor playground where MJ previously got picked on by a girl who kept telling her she was a boy.  The girl was clearly just trying to be mean and it really upset her.  This time I looked up to see MJ cornered by 3 boys who wouldn't let her out of a little space ship.  She barreled through them and they were pulling on her and she was screaming.  So I handed Greta to the hubs and raced up to help her.  When I got there they were pushing her down some stairs.  I was furious and my blood was boiling.  I grabbed one kids shirt (not my best parenting move) and growled "Where is your mother?  This is not acceptable playground behavior.  Pushing is not okay and your mother needs to know how you're behaving."  He started crying; sobbing might be a better term.  And then his brother said that MJ had started it by pushing and hitting.  Right then I realized I was in deeper than I wanted to be.  I took MJ down to the ground floor and told hubs "We're leaving RIGHT now."   The hubs was not clear what was going on and was annoyed that I was dragging them all out.  But I no longer knew who was at fault, and I could just see this boy coming down and sobbing to his mother and me losing my shit.  I couldn't handle it, and I wasn't sure if MJ had indeed started it.

I explained it all to the hubs later.  He clarified that 3 boys (older than her) means that even if she did start it they were in the wrong; he thought it was hilarious that I made the boy cry.  I have NO idea how to deal with playground parenting.  I generally try to stay out of it, figuring they need to figure it out, but in that moment I wanted her to know that she did NOT need to put up with being treated like that.  At that moment I wanted her to be back at preschool, learning these social skills with teachers on watch and not an over-emotional mom.  And learning these skills by interacting with the same kids over and over, instead of one-time encounters.

At any rate, I think I'll be staying away from Eagan for a while.

There you go, an unedited tirade about our first week figuring all of this out.

Greta, 8 months

This month we finally got some sleep.  It involved a bit of crying (on Greta's part and my part, as well) but wasn't too traumatic once we set our minds to it.  For a while she got down to eating once a night, which is not bad considering she usually sleeps 12 to 14 hours at night, so it seemed too much to ask for her to not wake up at all.  She's now consistently back up to 2 feedings at night, but, again, sometimes as long as 14 hours of sleep, so that seems fair.

About a week ago she quit the swing.  We used to use it for that last stretch in the early morning when she seemed like she wanted to get up and play, but would instead fall back to sleep in the swing.  Then she quit it, cold turkey, and screamed bloody murder when we tried to put her in it.  The good news, though?  She is still sleeping that last stretch, and in her crib.

This month she got even more fun.  If she had her way, she would have me sit on the floor with her so she could pull herself to standing all. day. long.  Any time she's fussy I can always get her to calm down by letting her pull herself up on my arms.  She's not really good enough to do it on something like a table, yet (and we have no coffee table) which must be why she relies on me.  I'm in no hurry to have her walk, but she is seemingly very determined to do so.  She constantly practices taking steps, and while she's not really close to walking yet, she's making great strides.

She's not much for crawling, though.  She has learned to scoot around (mostly backwards) and spin around on the floor.  But she gets fed up with it pretty quickly and too frustrated to continue.

Another key development has been signing.  She signs "milk" when she wants a bottle.  Admittedly, she signs it at many other times as well, but it's an interesting insight into her psyche.  She will sign "milk" whenever she seeks comfort of some kind.  I've seen her fall over and instantly sign "milk".  And while she's taking a bottle, she will lay there and just sign "milk" the entire time.  This is her only sign so far, but has given us renewed commitment to signing in general.

Other favorite activities include shaking her head around wildly, I guess to see the world shake around. Only sound so far is "Dada" but she definitely knows her name.  She loves having her sister home all day, and is so totally infatuated with her (the feeling seems to be mutual).

Everywhere she goes the comments are "She's so happy!  Oh my gosh, is she always this happy?" and the answer is yes.  It is so effortless to get her to smile.  She's such a wonderful baby, and it makes me sad to think how little "baby" time we have left.

A few quotes from our day...

"Mom, I can't wipe my boogers on these pants because these are my nice pants."

"Mom, I need to poop a deuce."


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It's true.

One is easier is than two.

I never really doubted it, but today I really felt it. Lately, really, I have felt it. I expected to be hit with a ton of bricks after the second was born, but that didn't happen.  Instead, it was a slow realization that life was not going to spring back to normalcy but would, instead, only get harder.

I've never heard a good description of this phenomenon, because, truly, babies are really freaking hard.

So here's my theory.

Babies are physically hard.  When the physical hardships get really bad they bleed over into mental hardships.  Changing diapers?  Gross, much of the time, but then it's done.  Sleep deprivation?  Freaking terrible, but when they sleep there's nothing else to worry about.  

The older they get, it seems, the more mentally taxing they get, and the less physically taxing.  I can imagine that by the time they're teenagers, the mental exhaustion has bled over into physical exhaustion.  The exact opposite of infants, in which the physical exhaustion bleeds over into mental exhaustion.

Which is probably why middle childhood is described as the golden years.  I already long for grand-children, and fully understand why my mom (and most mothers) was crazy for grandchildren when I was most-certainly not ready to provide them.

Tonight, my darling 3-year-old is galavanting with her dad and friends.   So I'm playing solo parent to an infant.  It's so easy that I don't fully know what to do with myself.  I almost forget what it's like to have hobbies.  I remember that I have them, but forget what it's like to experience them.

There's no real point here.  Other than to say, two are harder than one.  I'm sure that it never really gets easier, and even if it's "easy" someone else always has it harder.  Enjoy what you've got, but that doesn't mean you can't complain about what you're going through.

Our first graduation

Today was hard on me.  I thought it might be hard on MJ, but I was (thankfully) wrong.  Today she said farewell to the only daycare/preschool she's ever known.

She started there when she was 4 months old.  I cried then, but I cried more today.  She has moved through 4 different rooms there, and many loving teachers.  They have seen her learn to crawl, learn to walk, learn to run, learn to draw, learn to share, learn to talk, and learn to give hugs.  It has been like a second home for us, and without family living close by has been a total godsend.  She kept going months longer than she really needed to, because it has been such a loving, nurturing environment.

I felt silly for tearing up when I picked her up today.  But then I saw that all the teachers were crying, and felt a little less silly.  I thought that her seeing me cry would make this transition harder for her, but she was fine.

One of the teachers said to another "I don't even know what this place is without MJ".  They all told her how much they love her as she left.

How very blessed we have been.

Helping clean up after gym.  The BEST part of the day.

Unphased.  Change, bah.  I can handle it.

Making it real (and a plea for some advice)

I have now been a "stay at home mom" for longer than I worked at my last job.   I have enough distance from it to definitively say that it was the absolute right decision.  I Hated my job.  I should have known better; the only other time I had a traditional office-desk-type-job was in college, and I wanted to tear my hair out every day.  Sitting at a desk, all day every day, is torture for me.  So even though this was in my field, it couldn't overcome how terrible it is for me to sit in one place looking at spread sheets all day.  On top of that, I love being home with the girls.  When MJ was this age it KILLED me to drop her at daycare every day, knowing I was missing 90% of her waking hours.  I can't get enough of the smiles, coos, and belly laughs.  Although the days are occasionally a bit repetitive, we've managed to mix things up enough to avoid most of that.

So now I'm home.  I've been home with Greta for 7 months, but during that time MJ has continued to go to preschool most days.  At first it was because I had a newborn and needed the extra help.  Then it was because we bought a rental property and needed to get it up and running.  And now, there are no more justifiable reasons.

In about a week, that will no longer be the case.  I'll have both girls home with me, full time, and I'm a bit terrified.  I know this is what SAHMs do, and I'm excited about all the fun things we'll get to do.  It will be good for Greta, because she loves when her sister's around.  But how do people get anything done?  As it is now, with MJ gone for a good chunk of the day, I feel like I'm still going from sun up to sundown getting things done.  But now I'll have two rugrats around, one of whom is quicker at making messes than I am at cleaning them up.

Additionally, without any family around and a husband who works many evenings and weekends, I'll have few chances for a break.  If I could just drop them at a grandparent's house for a few hours in order to get things done that would be... amazing.  Or if the hubs came home at normal times every day and I could take an hour or two to do something.  But I won't have that.

So how do you do it?  What are some tips you'd like to pass along on how to keep your sanity?  How to get the things done that need to get done?

Freakin Puerto Ricans

I hope that's not an insult... I don't really know these things.

I'm not going to give a full accounting of our trip, but if you want details feel free to ask.

I will share a few MJisms, though.

On our first night there, she was up late enough to see the stars and moon.  It's a rarity, because it's too cold in the winter to be outside much in Minnesota, and in the summer it gets dark so late that she's usually asleep.

So it was fun to watch the stars with her. 

Her comment: "I wish I could climb up a ladder and pull them all down.  And put them in my bedroom."

She befriended the resident cat lady and fed the kitties every evening.  They were terrified of MJ, but she had treats so they tolerated.

There is more.  Greta is awake.  It will all have to wait, time to click "publish".

At our hotel, watching the fish.

Trying to get Greta to stop eating sand by distracting her with a cup.

Yes, those thighs are real.  No airbrushing required.

Our traveling high chair.  But she's basically outgrown it now.

Don't be fooled.  She wasn't impressed that we made her watch the sunset, she wanted to go feed the cats.

It was so terrifying to watch them in the waves.  This surf was rough.

My camera always stumps other people.  It's always lucky when someone manages to take a decent picture with it.  This was our hotel balcony.  The water lapped at the balcony during high tide - yikes!

Old San Juan.  The oldest fort in San Juan.

Waiting for brunch.  So nice to be able to play outside.

7 Months: Survival Style

In truth, Greta didn't really have a 7 month birthday, being as there were only 28 days in February.  Furthermore, we were gone (Puerto Rico baby!) and so I didn't get a chance to take any pictures until the 3rd, a whole 2 days past what would otherwise be her birthday.  Someday she'll be in therapy for that one.

This month has been... rough.   As compared to the other months, anyway, because in truth she still remains a pretty easy kid.  But this is the month she decided to become a truly troubled sleeper.  I've dug out our old sleep books and scoured the internets for advice.  She wakes up every two to three hours (at best) looking to eat or be rocked back to sleep.

Prior to leaving for Puerto Rico we started working on getting her to sleep on her own, and mostly failed.  But any progress we made we lost while we were travelling because we had to be respectful of neighboring travelers (thus we had to swiftly soothe her instead of letting her figure it out).

Supposedly it's that whole object permanence thing.... she suddenly realizes that I exist when she wakes up and wants me back.  I never worried about rocking her to sleep because, honestly, I enjoy it so much.  So why make it an issue if we were both enjoying it?  But I enjoyed it when it was once, twice, or three times a night.  More than that and I no longer enjoy it.

Since our return she has been a total mess.  Fussy and crying all. the. time.  I think the kid is just exhausted.  We've started doing some cry it out, because I don't know what else to do.  I'm exhausted.  She's exhausted.  And, truth be told, she is now sleeping longer stretches (5 hours at times), thus making a very strong case for cry it out.  Sorry kid, we tried gentler approaches but you just weren't having it.

Apart from the last couple days, though, she is generally a super happy kid during the day.  The number one thing that strangers comment on is how happy she is.  She's all smiles, all the time.  In the past week she has discovered how to shriek and has started truly interacting with her sister.  Lucky thing MJ loves to entertain, because Greta loves to be entertained by her.  They sit in the backseat with MJ making weird sounds and Greta laughing hysterically.

I won't be surprised if this kid walks before she can crawl.  She has started to spin around a bit when placed on her belly, but still wants nothing to do with being on her belly.  She would be happy to have me hold her on her feet all day long and loves trying to take steps.  She has discovered not to let go of me yet, though, after a few tumbles.

She has also become a stomach sleeper, which is something MJ never did and therefore decidedly disconcerting for me.  At this point, though, I'm willing to try anything that helps her sleep better.

I love this little girl, and just can't get enough of her during the day.  I could do with a little less of her at night.  If we can get this sleep thing figured out then the sun will shine a bit brighter around here.

MJisms, 3 yrs 5 months

Heard yesterday from the backseat on our way to Gymnastics.

"You know Mom, I'm going to live with you and Daddy FOREVER."

This has been a common topic of discussion lately.   We were watching Glee together a few weeks ago and Kurt was going to college, moving out of his Dad's house.  I mentioned to MJ that someday she would move out of our house, that she wouldn't live with us forever.  I mentioned she might want to go to college.  She thought about it and immediately announced that No, Dad would be going to college with her.

But back to the van, yesterday.

"But I'm going to do something a little bit different than you guys.  I'm NOT going to get married."

6 months

We marked the eve of Greta's six month birthday by being up all. night. long.  Vito had a lump removed yesterday and is wandering around bumping into things with his cone.  MJ came down with a stomache bug today.  And Greta has decided that she will wake every two hours to comfort eat throughout the night.

I scheduled her six month appt. on the actual day, so that we could get the flu vaccine into her asap.  Our family has so far been remarkably healthy this year (don't tell anyone, because I'm pretty sure no other family on earth has been) and would like to keep it that way. So her stats: 16.3 lb, 25 in.  Another way to see this: her weight for length has skyrocketed to the 80th percentile and her head is at the 95th percentile.  So the many times a night she's been waking up ravenous?  The pediatrician assured me she's doing just fine and can we can work on feeding her less.

Up until the last few days, she was doing pretty well at waking one or two times a night, eating quickly and falling right back asleep (honestly, it was more of a dream feed that she prompted).  But the few nights have been h-e-double-hockey-sticks.  Wake ups every 2-3 hours all night long.  Clearly, she is now expecting to be fed every time she wakes up, and it's killing me.

So tonight we started trying to break that.  Rather than her usual six o'clock bedtime she was up until eight, trying to fall asleep and not doing well at it.  Because we wouldn't let her nurse to sleep.

But now she's still asleep, 4 hours later!  6 hours since last fed.  And me?  I am not asleep.  Because hubs was kind and let me get a nap in.  ALWAYS a bad idea, why don't I learn?

Anywho, this month Greta got fun.  She plays with toys, and anything else she can get her paws on.  She tries to grab everything out of my hands, particularly my phone.  She already sits like a champ (at the 9 month level according to our Pedi) and is happy to sit and play with things.  Unlike MJ, she will actually be engaged with the same toy for ten minutes or more.  She seems more focused.  The flip side of that is that she's not really rolling; any time she does it seems to surprise her.  She'll lay in tummy time for half an hour, but won't flip over.

And did I mention that 95th percentile head?  GIANT noggin.  Crazy girl.  I was thinking it looked big...

This little girl melts my heart.  She is such a part of the family.  And DH has warmed up to her.  She can always make him smile, and clearly recognizes that he's someone special.  I love starting to get the first inklings of the person she'll become.  I love that she's becoming so interactive and yet is still so cuddly.  I can't believe her baby hood is half over. 

This also marks six months of me being home, and so far it's wonderful.  I was reflecting on that today, so exhausted from the family, and still so much happier than being in the office.  I am ready to get this house rented, though... after 2 nearly signed leases, ugh.

But I digress.  This is not the most well thought post out there.  And the photos will have to come later, because my camera's in Greta's room.

I was thinking today how much harder the prospect of letting her cry to sleep is than it was for MJ (not cry a ton, mind you, but there will inevitably be some tears).  Are other people bigger softies for their second born?  I don't think it's differences in their personalities, I think it's just a fuller appreciation of how fast this all goes.  Why have her cry when I could be in there rocking her?  Because I'm not going to get enough opportunities as it is.  With MJ, I felt like these days would go on forever...

Other stats on Greta:  loves sticking everything in her mouth, flapping her arms wildly while she eats, motorboating when she's tired, her big sister's antics.

This is also the month that nursing essentially ended.  I still nurse a couple times a day, but she gets barely anything.  I wish it wasn't so, but it is.  It was good while it lasted.

Sorry for not giving you a more well though out epistle, Greta.  I'll try to do better for the one year, okay?  Maybe in exchange, you'll sleep better by then?

Simply because I have a moment to spare.

Three posts in one week is a rarity.  Don't get too used to it.

But it's Friday night, and much as Friday night no longer really matters, I can never let go of the feeling that it does matter.  A weekend lays out before me!! Even though weekends are often more stressful than weekdays.

Some thoughts.

1)  Greta, in her natural, uninterrupted habitat, would go to bed at 6:00 every night.  Sometimes we're out and about and she'll fall asleep in the car, which just turns into a late nap and means she's up later.  It kills any social life, but when we're all just hanging at home, I love it.  She's goes to bed SO EASILY if I put her down at 6:00, it makes me not want to bother with any other scenario. I nurse her a bit (with my rapidly diminishing supply) then give her some bottle to top her off, and she's out like a light.  Five minute process, and she almost sleeps better than if she goes to bed later.

2)  Furthermore, the 6:00 bedtime gives me an evening to just play with MJ.  Tonight we ate cake and watched Dumbo. The number of acid trip sequences in movies I watched as a child is astounding.  I am opposed to TV (for my kids, which makes me a total hypocrite since I love it myself) to a greater degree than most folks I know.  It can, on occasion, get a bit maniacal.  But in the past few months, I have discovered the joy of watching a movie or TV show with MJ, and it is magical.  We cuddle, usually on the couch though tonight in bed, and we talk about what we're watching.  How sad when Dumbo was separated from his Mama!  Her compassion warms my heart.  I absolutely love when we get to watch something together.  I try at all costs to avoid using it as a babysitter, but the joy of sharing a cinematic experience is immense.

3)  I love Greta's arm flaps.  When I give her a bottle, or nurse her, one arm (whichever isn't pinned to her side) will just flap wildly with joy, like she's trying to fly away (like Dumbo!)  It makes my heart melt every time.  Everything about this little girl makes my heart melt.  The fact that she will be 6 months next week is mind blowing.  Babyhood half over?  Can that be?  I NEVER thought I'd be a baby person, and I think my early blog posts reflect that, but it turns out I am.  The idea of not having a baby in the house is so, so sad to me.  The exhaustion gets me, but everything else I'm okay with.  Baby puke, messy diapers, mindless babbling, bring it.  We haven't decided whether Greta is our last or not, and I think that almost makes it harder.  Are these coming months my last months of having a baby ever?  Or will there be more?  It's amazing how notable babyhood is and yet how short.  If I could have a stork drop a baby on my doorstep I'd be all in.  But the idea of another pregnancy?  And childbirth?  Sometimes I'm not sure I have that in me.

4)  I often feel like a single parent these days.  Which is probably a very clueless thing to say if you're actually a single parent.  And that would also make me a single parent with more means than many have, so very blessed.  But goodness, it gets tiring.  Just having the hubs home for an evening the other day reminded me how easy it is to have two parents around, how much simpler it is to function.  I need to take myself out on a date; hire a babysitter, and just get out of the house for an evening.  I love these girls so much, and I'm not really tired of them, I'm just kind of tired of being in charge.  Tired of battles with a 3-year-old.  Tired of never getting a full night's sleep.

Off to bed.  I hope.