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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Head full of crazy

I spend a lot of time in my head.  Although I work half time, I spend only one day a week in an office, and the rest of the time I either work from home or am with MJ.  And since DH works a lot of nights and weekends, that means lots of one on one time with a toddler.

Particularly at the end of a day where it's just been me and her all day, I start to feel like I'm losing touch with reality.  Talking to a toddler is much like talking to a crazy person.  Part of what they say makes sense, but you have to wade through piles of non-sensical blather and barely understandable ranting to get to it.  I usually don't even realize I'm losing touch until I have a real interaction with a real person.  By real person, I mean adult.  And then the non-craziness of talking to a logical human being reminds me how crammed full of crazy my head is.

This is among the reasons that I think going back to work will be a good thing for me.  The lack of interaction is isolating.  I tried for a while to meet mom's at meetups, and I met some great ladies that way.  But even then you can't REALLY have meaningful conversations, because you're constantly being interrupted by TODDLER CRAZY and trying to make sure there is no destruction happening.  And I find, in the end, that I identify more with working moms.  I can't get over the "is this all there is?" feeling of watching a toddler all the time.  I love it, I just need something more. 

Lately, I've been having a lot of too-much-toddler-slowly-going-crazy time.  I look forward to the holidays, and family, and some more people around to share the crazy.

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