Friday, December 16, 2011

More on Mom groups

Erin's comment (below) on Mom's groups reminded me of my own conclusions.  I'll share them with you here.  Because I've been to about 10 of them, so that certainly makes me an authority.

After reading the Bloggess's post I remembered that, among the reasons I will never be a great blogger, is that I'm always afraid of offending the people that read my blog.  In some sense, I miss the days when it was anonymous, because I felt I could say anything I want.  Now, most my reader's are friends or family in real life, so I need to be a little less of an a$$hole.  Oh, and there's also the issue of needing to be a much better writer, but I'm sure that comes easy once you get the friend thing figured out.

Regardless, some of the things I've learned about mom's groups are:

1)  If they sound offensive and smug in their online description (because that's how these things are organized these days), then they are probably worth getting to know.  By worth getting to know, I mean they probably serve martini's at their playdates.

2)  If they sound inclusive and kind, they are probably as dry as paint and hold their meetups at McDonalds.

3)  There is apparently no middle ground between suburban housewives who are afraid of driving into the big city because they don't know how to parallel park and smug city dwellers who won't allow their children to eat goldfish at your playdate but will allow them to eat Annie's organic cheddar bunnies.

4)  I can't relate to groups of women where people are deeply stressed about the cost of diapers.  Either use cloth (cheaper!) or don't complain.

5) I really don't know what to talk to other mothers about. If your whole day is your kid and your home, is that what we're supposed to talk about? Because, much as I love talking about my kid, it gets kind of old. I have no cleaning tips to share and don't really want to know where the latest sales are, so I'm sort of at a loss.
6)  MJ terrifies many parents.  I think she's my litmus test.  If they can't handle the crazy that is my child then they probably can't handle the crazy that is me.

7)  The whole time I've been writing this post, Ive been picking knots out of my hair.  Literally, knots.  Because tonight I have to go to a fancy dress party and schmooze with husband's colleagues and not get too drunk and embarrass him.  So the way I prepare to get ready for a big fancy night?  Pick knots out of my hair.  Let's face it, this is the real reason I have not had success at mom groups.

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