Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Baby is becoming a real concept. A real creature. In my belly. So it is inevitable that it dawn on me that baby is present for all my most personal moments. Not only present, but actually participating. When I take a crap? Baby feels that. Sex? Baby feels that too. Moments that I would normally not share with anyone, and yet I have no choice but to share them with baby. Maybe this is the beginning of the maternal bond, the loss of all privacy.

I've now begun my fourth month of pregnancy, and it amazes me how far I've come. But when I actually do the math, I've only been aware of Paras's presence for ~2 months, which is only ~33% of the total time I have left. Good lord, it's going to be a long year.

I felt my uterus yesterday; for those of you not up on baby progression, this was an external affair. This is something all the baby books tell you is possible around now, but which I've never really felt compelled to search for. But there it was, kind of unmistakable. A lot smaller than I imagine it in my head. A gentle reminder that all those period cramps that used to fill my stomach emanated from a very small place; a gentle reminder what a small space is capable of. Also a reminder that this beautiful baby belly that I'm getting is really just my internal organs and fat being pushed out.

I think I've left you with enough lovely mental images for the day.

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