I advertise this as a working mom blog. Because I work. And I'm a mom. But really, I rarely talk about W*RK. Largely because I don't want to Dooce myself. And I'm not very good at being honest whilst being funny whilst not saying things I shouldn't. Perhaps you remmeber this post? Yep, got in trouble from the hubs for that one. I tend to reveal more than I should.
Anyway, I recently flirted with the idea of stopping the PhD and teaching community college. I met a great lady and blogger who happened to be looking for someone to teach as well, it all seemed so perfect. But it turns out teaching is hard. I knew that, to be fair. But I realized it's just not for me. Every day I got to come back to the lab and not teach was glorious.
What really happened is that an awesome job opportunity came about right as I was starting back to work after maternity leave. And going back to work was REALLY hard. The first couple months in particular. But going to a job I didn't like was even harder, even if I knew it was a stellar opportunity. It reminded me why I chose the path I did. Why I started back to graduate school. Why I chose to study geology and climate. Why I love the freedom that graduate school and academia allows, even if the pay isn't all that great.
It gets easier. The first few months back, all I did was miss MJ. But at some point, I realized I had my self back. I didn't even realize I had missed her, I had been so focused on my child. So to anyone in the midst of going back, the best thing I can tell you is that it gets easier. If you like your job, in particular. I realize I am lucky in this, to have a job I love and not need to find a better paying job.
But I have this great thing right now. I have work/life balance. It seems almost impossible to find, and I'm told it's even harder with a second child, but I have it. And I don't think I could have found it without work, because, much as I love my child and love spending time with her, my life would not have been balanced. It would have been happy, but it would have been unbalanced. So maybe, more than seeking what makes you happy, it's important to seek balance. And balance will give you happiness.