Thursday, September 2, 2010

A photo that captures how I feel.

I love taking photos. I'm not a photographer, I just like to capture a moment to help my poor memory hold on to it. But the downside is that I rarely end up in the photos. It's a small price to pay to have my own vision the one of record. But sometimes, DH picks up the camera. And sometimes the results are beautiful.  And I don't even recognize myself.  Or my daughter, sitting calmly, staring off into the distance.  And yet it captures a brief instant in time that I desperately try to hold on to, because they're rare moments.  This was a gift that I don't even think you knew you were giving me.
I love upstate New York.  I love my daughter.  I can't believe she's almost 1. 
We went to the fair yesterday, and I constantly thought about last year at this time.  On the dawn of giving birth.  Not even being able to conceptualize what my life would be like afterward.  How painful walking even a block was.  The impatience.  The fear.  Life is good right now.  It's nice to have my body back.  And my mind, even if my life is permanently altered.   Life 1 year later is glorious.  I never thought of myself as a motherly person, but, if you're lucky, your own child will make you motherly.  And that's all you really need.

2 comments:

  1. I could have written this post about myself. I'm with you on every point. I'm the photographer in the family, capturing moments. I'm never in the pictures. I also completely get what you are saying about how life can change in a year. I remember that first year, too. I never saw myself as a motherly type, but when Bel turned one, I was surprised to find out that I was!

    Beautiful photo, by the way. Love it.

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  2. Just found your blog and it's lovely...as is this picture:).

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