I'm not sure what I thought, but I didn't realize babies need to be entertained. The first few weeks she just *was*. She wasn't very interested in what I was doing, so I didn't worry too much about entertaining her. She was happy.
But NOW, she is paying attention. When I talk to her, she listens. When I read her a book she looks at the pictures.
And that means, that when I swear, she is listening. When I look at trashy celebrity websites she sees it. These are all things she may one day hold against me.
And, perhaps more importantly, I feel like I should be spending all this time teaching her. If she's paying attention, I should be filling her brain with brilliance. It used to be that no one cared how much time I spent farting around the internets (or at least A could deal with it) but now I'm supposed to be setting a good example. I don't actually think she is going to remember all the mistakes I make now, and all my swearwords, but at some point she will. And will I be given warning when this is about to happen? I doubt it. No, she will store up these events and whip them out and the most embarrassing possible time, like greeting time at church. She will turn to a nice, elderly woman, and say "Douchebaggery".
So my concept of a stay-at-home-mom having time to do something other than childcare is quickly fading. I've never had a tidy house, and figured that if I did stay at home and still didn't have a tidy house I'd have time to do all sorts of other things. But now, I don't know how you have time to do anything other than stare at your child.