Friday, April 29, 2011
Blogger's Block
I haven't been around much lately, in case you haven't noticed.
A lot has been on my mind, and this just hasn’t felt like the place to share it. Questions about work, school, housing, our future, the list goes on. We lost the house that I posted about previously. It’s a long story that involves many delays and demands from the sellers, including the requirement we pay for their movers or they wouldn’t be able to be out of the house by the agreed upon closing date. We were pretty flexible at first, but that last one put us over the edge and we called off the deal. So we’re back to the house hunt, only now we’ve seen 90% of the 4 bedroom houses in St. Paul and are feeling less optimistic about finding something in our price range.
All those boxes I had started packing now seem presumptuous...
On the upside, though, MJ's still really cute!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Eeek! A giraffe ate my baby!
MJ has been totally in love with dogs and cats. So much so that we've even started bribing her to go places by saying "There might be a kitty there!" which works magically but is probably a parenting misdeed. So I really thought she'd love the zoo. It turns out the giraffes, which we could feed, were the only thing worthy of a smile.
On the up side, we learned that the whole monkeys-love-bananas concept is true! When we surreptitiously gave her a banana (the signs clearly said no outside food or drink) the monkeys were totally rapt. They kept motioning for her to give them some of her banana and made little "come hither" sounds. But, like the toddler she is, she wasn't willing to share that banana with anyone, even a monkey.
Monday, April 4, 2011
The packing begins
We have about 2.5 months until we close on the new house. We decided to start packing early, to make sure we wouldn't forget anything important.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
June 14, 2011
THE DATE WE CLOSE ON OUR NEW HOUSE!!!
To give you some perspective on why we're so excited, I think I only need to show some pictures.
These are some lovely pictures of our current kitchen, taken during our house hunt several years ago.
The reason you can't see the whole kitchen is that there's no place to stand to take in the whole kitchen. It looks a little different now, mostly just messier, but certainly no bigger.
Our future kitchen will be this:
The rest of the house is lovely too, but this is my dream kitchen. We thought about trying to renovate a kitchen in our current house or some other house, but the expected expense and possibility for marital destruction loomed large. I am going to have to become a much better cook to live up to this kitchen.
Other reasons we're in love? We're going from ~800 square feet to ~2200 square feet. We will be a block from a lovely park. And so many windows. The current owners renovated the house in 1992, adding this kitchen, an attached garage, and lots and lots of big windows. There is so much natural light and space.
There are a couple things we will need to learn to live with. Notably, those black slate floors. I love natural stone, but I suspect these are going to be a bear to keep clean. Also, the kitchen is so big that it echoes, and our not-quiet-toddler is amplified. I think there will be a need for some carpet on the floor to combat both of these.
A rough calculation suggests that I saw on the order of 70 houses. I think DH saw about half that; MJ and I went to many open houses while he was at work, which turns out to be a great toddler activity. What will we do with our free Sundays now?
To give you some perspective on why we're so excited, I think I only need to show some pictures.
These are some lovely pictures of our current kitchen, taken during our house hunt several years ago.
The reason you can't see the whole kitchen is that there's no place to stand to take in the whole kitchen. It looks a little different now, mostly just messier, but certainly no bigger.
Our future kitchen will be this:
Other reasons we're in love? We're going from ~800 square feet to ~2200 square feet. We will be a block from a lovely park. And so many windows. The current owners renovated the house in 1992, adding this kitchen, an attached garage, and lots and lots of big windows. There is so much natural light and space.
There are a couple things we will need to learn to live with. Notably, those black slate floors. I love natural stone, but I suspect these are going to be a bear to keep clean. Also, the kitchen is so big that it echoes, and our not-quiet-toddler is amplified. I think there will be a need for some carpet on the floor to combat both of these.
A rough calculation suggests that I saw on the order of 70 houses. I think DH saw about half that; MJ and I went to many open houses while he was at work, which turns out to be a great toddler activity. What will we do with our free Sundays now?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Riling up the internet.
I'm feeling feisty today. I know I have a tendency towards "feisty" at times, and probably less kind descriptions as well. Usually I don't realize it, but sometimes I do.
Anyone tend to pick fights when they're feeling this way? Maybe I'm the only one. In the spirit of redirecting my energy, I found myself picking fights with the internet today. With unknown strangers. Just to get my feistiness out. I used to view my blog as a place to vent, but with so many of my friends and family now reading it, it leaves me little space to just let out words. Things that don't make sense. Things that shouldn't be said but which one still feels the need to say.
So I ask, where do you get your feistiness out? Although some of you are probably too kind for this sort of behavior, I know many of you, and you must have your moments. What is your favorite place, virtual or real, to let loose your inner b!tch?
Anyone tend to pick fights when they're feeling this way? Maybe I'm the only one. In the spirit of redirecting my energy, I found myself picking fights with the internet today. With unknown strangers. Just to get my feistiness out. I used to view my blog as a place to vent, but with so many of my friends and family now reading it, it leaves me little space to just let out words. Things that don't make sense. Things that shouldn't be said but which one still feels the need to say.
So I ask, where do you get your feistiness out? Although some of you are probably too kind for this sort of behavior, I know many of you, and you must have your moments. What is your favorite place, virtual or real, to let loose your inner b!tch?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wild Child.
We just returned from a week in Florida visiting grandparents. Although the Floridians thought it was cold, it was a Minnesotan's dream. Highs of 70, lows of 50. No fear of sweat. Pure bliss.
Following is a video we took of MJ at a local outdoor mall. She managed to draw a small crowd with her antics. This child never stops making me smile.
**If you're not a grandparent and therefore don't intend to watch the whole thing, just skip to ~1:10 seconds. It might make you smile.
Friday, March 11, 2011
A girl and her dog*
I told you the cuteness was indescribable.
* Ignore that uncovered light socket about 6 inches from MJ's hand.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Life and other stories.
The cuteness that is currently residing on my camera is indescribable. But that is in the other room, so you'll just have to wait. To answer some of your other questions...
1) We have not yet bought a house. The house we made an offer on... we and the sellers didn't see eye to eye. My mom visited last week, so i drug her to ~15 open houses. I didn't actually count them, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more. I remain unconvinced that the combination of features we're looking for isn't a pipe dream. But I'm not yet willing to give up the dream, and the amount of money we save every month we stay in our house is significant. As long as we have a bigger space before next winter, I think i can survive.
2) I like my kid better than you. This is a new realization for me. But MJ is so fun, that, most of the time, I would far rather hang out with her than anyone else. I used to think that parents who didn't make a point to still spend time with friends were lame. More and more, though, if I cant spend time with her, too, its just not worth it.
3). Seriously, MJ is so fun. As long as shes gotten enough sleep. I mean, there's no one else in my life I can make laugh uncontrollably simply by crawling around on the floor.
4) this didn't start out as an ode to MJ post, but being as she is 18 months old in 2 days, here you go.
5) At 18 months old, your favorite things in the world are books and animals. Everything else is secondary.
Books: last weekend we took you to the eagles nest, a super awesome indoor playground with tunnels, slides and pure plastic joy. But, you were too enamored with the bookcase in the corner to care. Eventually, the screams of happiness from the children around you broke through your reverie, and you went down slides like a... Sailor? But it took a while. The first thing you want to do in the morning is read, and the last thing before you go to bed. I won't deny that i love it. But it would seem you're destined to be a nerd.
Animals: Sesame street? Kind of okay. Nature (the PBS show)? Pure toddler joy. Grizzly bears, tigers, anything with fur or feathers, apparently. You will find the single cat in any picture book and shriek with joy. I'm clinging to this fascination of yours with hopes that it will ward off princess lust. 7 months ago we took you to the zoo and you much preferred to stare at the people. I think things would go differently now.
Words: You talk an awful lot, though you sometimes seem indifferent to the actual sounds. You try to repeat things we say but don't come close. But you don't care. I'm thinking this will prove to be a problem as you get older. My favorite of your new words is "help". Much better than the shriek that used to indicate you wanted help. Others that you have added: bath, cup, tail, row, water, shoe, dirty. Everyone in your circle of trust is "mama", even dada. Except doggy, who sounds an awful lot like "dada".
Tidy: speaking of dirty... Any slight spill MUST be cleaned up. You don't get this from us. You love to wash your hands, brush your teeth, pick up toys... Im guessing this one will be a good thong as you get older.
Most of all, you are joyous. Mischievous. I think I use these words to describe you every month. In some ways, you've mellowed. You'll sit still for (slightly) longer periods of time. You'll allow us to read to you. We even successfully took you grocery shopping AND to a restaurant, two things I thought might never happen. You make every day worth waking up for, even when it's at 4 am.
1) We have not yet bought a house. The house we made an offer on... we and the sellers didn't see eye to eye. My mom visited last week, so i drug her to ~15 open houses. I didn't actually count them, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more. I remain unconvinced that the combination of features we're looking for isn't a pipe dream. But I'm not yet willing to give up the dream, and the amount of money we save every month we stay in our house is significant. As long as we have a bigger space before next winter, I think i can survive.
2) I like my kid better than you. This is a new realization for me. But MJ is so fun, that, most of the time, I would far rather hang out with her than anyone else. I used to think that parents who didn't make a point to still spend time with friends were lame. More and more, though, if I cant spend time with her, too, its just not worth it.
3). Seriously, MJ is so fun. As long as shes gotten enough sleep. I mean, there's no one else in my life I can make laugh uncontrollably simply by crawling around on the floor.
4) this didn't start out as an ode to MJ post, but being as she is 18 months old in 2 days, here you go.
5) At 18 months old, your favorite things in the world are books and animals. Everything else is secondary.
Books: last weekend we took you to the eagles nest, a super awesome indoor playground with tunnels, slides and pure plastic joy. But, you were too enamored with the bookcase in the corner to care. Eventually, the screams of happiness from the children around you broke through your reverie, and you went down slides like a... Sailor? But it took a while. The first thing you want to do in the morning is read, and the last thing before you go to bed. I won't deny that i love it. But it would seem you're destined to be a nerd.
Animals: Sesame street? Kind of okay. Nature (the PBS show)? Pure toddler joy. Grizzly bears, tigers, anything with fur or feathers, apparently. You will find the single cat in any picture book and shriek with joy. I'm clinging to this fascination of yours with hopes that it will ward off princess lust. 7 months ago we took you to the zoo and you much preferred to stare at the people. I think things would go differently now.
Words: You talk an awful lot, though you sometimes seem indifferent to the actual sounds. You try to repeat things we say but don't come close. But you don't care. I'm thinking this will prove to be a problem as you get older. My favorite of your new words is "help". Much better than the shriek that used to indicate you wanted help. Others that you have added: bath, cup, tail, row, water, shoe, dirty. Everyone in your circle of trust is "mama", even dada. Except doggy, who sounds an awful lot like "dada".
Tidy: speaking of dirty... Any slight spill MUST be cleaned up. You don't get this from us. You love to wash your hands, brush your teeth, pick up toys... Im guessing this one will be a good thong as you get older.
Most of all, you are joyous. Mischievous. I think I use these words to describe you every month. In some ways, you've mellowed. You'll sit still for (slightly) longer periods of time. You'll allow us to read to you. We even successfully took you grocery shopping AND to a restaurant, two things I thought might never happen. You make every day worth waking up for, even when it's at 4 am.
Monday, February 28, 2011
This is how I feel most of the time
Today's picture comes to you courtesy of my friend, neighbor, and fellow blogger. I have to throw in that "neighbor" part while I can, because we put in an offer on a house yesterday that would make her no longer my neighbor. I find this inexplicably sad. The idea of breaking up the girls and possibly their future rock band career has been in the back of my mind throughout this whole process. However, in the front of my mind is the fact that we no longer fit in our house. Furthermore, while I might lose two blogger neighbors, if we buy this house I would gain another.
At any rate, DH has been working a lot lately, which means a lot of one-on-one-toddler-time for me. Anyone that knows MJ knows that means constant activity, constant defiance and constant energy. She's usually a barrel of fun, but that is intermixed with plenty of tantrums and lots of death-defying stunts. This photo pretty much captures it. I'm not sure why she's been in the habit of sticking her hand down her diaper lately, though it's probably related to the fact that we FINALLY got her back into cloth after fighting off a series of nasty diaper rashes. And those letters scattered all around? She made sure I was watching, got a twinkle in her eye and dumped them all over the floor.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
A uniquely human trait.
Also, that look of defiance. Very human. Very MJ.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Happiness is....
... making a point to go to bed at 9:00, and MJ deciding to sleep in ('til 6:00!) Holy rested mama Batman!
... an unsolicited toddler hug.
... walking in the house to see Dada and MJ reading on the couch together. Granted, her book was upside.
... looking forward to putting this sweater on my little girl.
... an unsolicited toddler hug.
... walking in the house to see Dada and MJ reading on the couch together. Granted, her book was upside.
... looking forward to putting this sweater on my little girl.
... a high of 26 after a week of -30 windchills.
... date night this coming Sunday.
What makes you happy?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sound bites.
I'm working in the lab today. And I get 30-60 second spans of time where I am just waiting on things. It turns out this is too short a span of time to do anything that needs to be done. If I attempt to do anything that requires real thought I end up forgetting something in the lab that really shouldn't be forgotten. So I am going to make you a list. Of... I'm not sure. Things I'm thinking.
1. Our daycare tells us how absolutely joyous MJ is. How she's never upset. I feel like I don't get to see that, and it bums me out. So it means one of two things: either I have unrealistic expectations of what a joyous child looks like, or she takes out all her frustrations on us.
2. I wonder if MJ has seasonal depression. The wind chill on my walk into school today was -25 degrees. That's Fahrenheit, for all you Canucks, and very cold. So, needless to say, MJ hasn't been outside for more than minutes at a time since we returned from Oregon, over a month ago. I would think this could give a person seasonal depression.
3. Despite the cold, I love Minnesota. As I was climbing into bed next to DH last night, I realized how the cold makes marriages stronger. We'd been fighting a bit before we went to bed. But it was really cold, even in the house with our heater set to 68 degrees. So we were forced to cuddle. And cuddling makes you happier, even if you're grumpy with someone. And when you wake up, after a night of forced cuddling, your relationship is in a better place.
After my realization (these are the things I think about when I'm trying to fall asleep) I googled divorce rates by state. There is some correlation between climate and divorce rate. Not a strong one, mind you, but
Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota (three of the coldest states I know) rank 39th, 41st and 44th, respectively. It would be easy to find flaws in my logic (such as the fact that domestic abuse is higher in colder months) but I stand behind it in my own relationship.
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2009/10/15/marriages-and-divorce-a-50-state-tour/
4. We've been thinking about our domicile. Someday, maybe in the not too distant future, we'd like another kiddo (or 2 or 3). Our house is 800 square feet. If you live in NYC, you may be salivating at the thought of that much space. But for the rest of us, it is tiny. It currently works just fine, but if we add another child to the mix, I simply don't know how we'll all fit. I know families have fit in such spaces in the past, but this boggles my mind. Where do you put the children? Do they share a room? I can conceive of this from about age 2 onward, but before that it seems like the baby would just wake the toddler all-the-time. Or the baby sleeps in your room, which is fine in theory, but if baby #1 is anything like baby #2, my children are loud, rambunctious sleepers that keep me up.
So the questions have been flowing like wine: Are we suburb people? Is it time to move to a place with a bigger lot, and the possibility of deer wandering through? But that means a commute. And seeing isolation. And seeing our friends less. We actually really love where we currently live. Location, neighbors, property lot. Maybe we renovate? But that's expensive, and we have no equity in our house to pay for it. And our marriage would have to surrive a renovation. oy. So maybe we buy a new house. But where? What kind of life do we want? What would we do with our current house? Can we possibly be landlords? This is the constant dinner time conversation of late. So we continue to save our pennies for a possible downpayment or renovation, and still have no idea what we want. I take that back - what we really want is for the house we're currently living in to magically double in size. Anyone know how to make this happen?
Alright, I think that's enough rambling for now.
1. Our daycare tells us how absolutely joyous MJ is. How she's never upset. I feel like I don't get to see that, and it bums me out. So it means one of two things: either I have unrealistic expectations of what a joyous child looks like, or she takes out all her frustrations on us.
2. I wonder if MJ has seasonal depression. The wind chill on my walk into school today was -25 degrees. That's Fahrenheit, for all you Canucks, and very cold. So, needless to say, MJ hasn't been outside for more than minutes at a time since we returned from Oregon, over a month ago. I would think this could give a person seasonal depression.
3. Despite the cold, I love Minnesota. As I was climbing into bed next to DH last night, I realized how the cold makes marriages stronger. We'd been fighting a bit before we went to bed. But it was really cold, even in the house with our heater set to 68 degrees. So we were forced to cuddle. And cuddling makes you happier, even if you're grumpy with someone. And when you wake up, after a night of forced cuddling, your relationship is in a better place.
After my realization (these are the things I think about when I'm trying to fall asleep) I googled divorce rates by state. There is some correlation between climate and divorce rate. Not a strong one, mind you, but
Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota (three of the coldest states I know) rank 39th, 41st and 44th, respectively. It would be easy to find flaws in my logic (such as the fact that domestic abuse is higher in colder months) but I stand behind it in my own relationship.
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2009/10/15/marriages-and-divorce-a-50-state-tour/
4. We've been thinking about our domicile. Someday, maybe in the not too distant future, we'd like another kiddo (or 2 or 3). Our house is 800 square feet. If you live in NYC, you may be salivating at the thought of that much space. But for the rest of us, it is tiny. It currently works just fine, but if we add another child to the mix, I simply don't know how we'll all fit. I know families have fit in such spaces in the past, but this boggles my mind. Where do you put the children? Do they share a room? I can conceive of this from about age 2 onward, but before that it seems like the baby would just wake the toddler all-the-time. Or the baby sleeps in your room, which is fine in theory, but if baby #1 is anything like baby #2, my children are loud, rambunctious sleepers that keep me up.
So the questions have been flowing like wine: Are we suburb people? Is it time to move to a place with a bigger lot, and the possibility of deer wandering through? But that means a commute. And seeing isolation. And seeing our friends less. We actually really love where we currently live. Location, neighbors, property lot. Maybe we renovate? But that's expensive, and we have no equity in our house to pay for it. And our marriage would have to surrive a renovation. oy. So maybe we buy a new house. But where? What kind of life do we want? What would we do with our current house? Can we possibly be landlords? This is the constant dinner time conversation of late. So we continue to save our pennies for a possible downpayment or renovation, and still have no idea what we want. I take that back - what we really want is for the house we're currently living in to magically double in size. Anyone know how to make this happen?
Alright, I think that's enough rambling for now.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Square peg, round hole
MJ hasn't wrapped her head around the fact that she can't fit into the same spaces she used to be able to. Which is probably why she keeps trying to squeeze through my neighbor's cat door.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Thanks for listening to me complain.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
The inner workings of a toddler
I am tired today. So tired that I find it hard to concentrate on those things I should be concentrating on. On the way in this morning, my husband told me he thinks it's bogus that when I'm tired I suck at thinking critically. But that's how my head works. And so you get a blog post.
A blog post about me wondering why my child won't sleep. It's been a rough month. We travelled out west, and the time change and festivities messed with MJ's sleep schedule. So be it. Then we returned, and she started back at daycare, and did really well. Not waking up much at all, sleeping until 7 in the morning.
And then she got sick. Puking. Lots of puking. Puking in my hair. Puking in our bed. Poor thing, I felt bad for her. She still slept pretty good, considering. Then husband went away for a week. As soon as she got over the puking she picked up some sort of cough-hack-virus. Husband says to me "But she just got sick!" as though that should insulate her from getting sick again. So I said to the virus "Virus, she just got sick, give her a break." Funny how Mr. Virus didn't listen. And she coughed, and my Mama-Brain feared she would stop breathing in the night. So if she cried, I brought her into our bed.
And she barely slept.
Go to sleep late. *cough* Wake up. Move to Mama's bed. *cough* Wake Up Early. *cough* Wake Mama Up Early. *cough* Refuse to nap. *cough* She is now over the virus. And she is still up all the time. She wants to play! We get her to sleep, put her in her crib, and an hour later she is awake again. *cough* *Play!*
So I am tired. I would like to blame this on a cognitive change. The number of times I have googled "cognitive develoment of a ___ month old" is somewhat embarrassing. I fear this is the beginnings of a fussy toddler. There is much shrieking and flailing happening, day and night alike. We tried a bit of cry it out last night. But we have a very determined little child, and I don't think I have a night of screaming in me. How do you reason with a toddler?
A blog post about me wondering why my child won't sleep. It's been a rough month. We travelled out west, and the time change and festivities messed with MJ's sleep schedule. So be it. Then we returned, and she started back at daycare, and did really well. Not waking up much at all, sleeping until 7 in the morning.
And then she got sick. Puking. Lots of puking. Puking in my hair. Puking in our bed. Poor thing, I felt bad for her. She still slept pretty good, considering. Then husband went away for a week. As soon as she got over the puking she picked up some sort of cough-hack-virus. Husband says to me "But she just got sick!" as though that should insulate her from getting sick again. So I said to the virus "Virus, she just got sick, give her a break." Funny how Mr. Virus didn't listen. And she coughed, and my Mama-Brain feared she would stop breathing in the night. So if she cried, I brought her into our bed.
And she barely slept.
Go to sleep late. *cough* Wake up. Move to Mama's bed. *cough* Wake Up Early. *cough* Wake Mama Up Early. *cough* Refuse to nap. *cough* She is now over the virus. And she is still up all the time. She wants to play! We get her to sleep, put her in her crib, and an hour later she is awake again. *cough* *Play!*
So I am tired. I would like to blame this on a cognitive change. The number of times I have googled "cognitive develoment of a ___ month old" is somewhat embarrassing. I fear this is the beginnings of a fussy toddler. There is much shrieking and flailing happening, day and night alike. We tried a bit of cry it out last night. But we have a very determined little child, and I don't think I have a night of screaming in me. How do you reason with a toddler?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Still thinking about cave women...
I had a lovely visit to my homeland over Christmas. I went home for nearly 2 weeks. Home has no snow, is tropical by comparison to Minnesota, and has terrain. And there were 2 grandmothers to help wrangle MJ.
I also had an interesting conversation with my brother one evening. In the course of the conversation I came to realize how often I ponder "what would cave women do?" It turns out I think about this a lot. It also became clear that my brother fantasizes about aliens landing on earth, and that he's convinced (only half-jokingly) that this is the year it will happen. But I digress.
And then I read this article in the NYTimes about the Opt Out Revolution. The article's from 2003, but it rings very true for me. I know there's been a lot of discussion about it, about the accuracy, etc. But as an educated woman who can afford the choice of whether or not to work, I frequently ponder how much I am no longer lured by the business world. Or whatever world this is.
I know there's a lot of discussion about nature vs. nuruture in the parenting world. And I'm not talking about the children. Is it because women truly, deep-down want to stay home with the children? Or is it caused by external factors? The reality is that there are ALWAYS external factors, so how important are they?
I find it fascinating (and frustrating) that the men I encounter don't seem to have as much interest in their children as the women do. They enjoy them, don't get me wrong, but they don't seem to feel as drawn to them as their wives do. I'm guessing the men I know will object to this statement, which is a testament to the fact that they truly are great fathers.
But when I'm away from MJ for too long, my heart just aches. My husband? Misses her. But it's not the same. And it doesn't seem to be as intense. I blame this on biology. And here's where I think about cave women, again. Babies used to NEED their mothers for survival. That's how humans evolved. So doesn't it work out great if the mother's also WANTED to be with their children? Doesn't that seem evolutionarily advantageous? If a mother didn't want to be with her child, her child's survival was undoubtedly less likely. I realize this is crack science. But it just makes so much sense. And it gives me a handy explanation for why I spend so much time thinking about my baby when I should really be working.
I also had an interesting conversation with my brother one evening. In the course of the conversation I came to realize how often I ponder "what would cave women do?" It turns out I think about this a lot. It also became clear that my brother fantasizes about aliens landing on earth, and that he's convinced (only half-jokingly) that this is the year it will happen. But I digress.
And then I read this article in the NYTimes about the Opt Out Revolution. The article's from 2003, but it rings very true for me. I know there's been a lot of discussion about it, about the accuracy, etc. But as an educated woman who can afford the choice of whether or not to work, I frequently ponder how much I am no longer lured by the business world. Or whatever world this is.
I know there's a lot of discussion about nature vs. nuruture in the parenting world. And I'm not talking about the children. Is it because women truly, deep-down want to stay home with the children? Or is it caused by external factors? The reality is that there are ALWAYS external factors, so how important are they?
I find it fascinating (and frustrating) that the men I encounter don't seem to have as much interest in their children as the women do. They enjoy them, don't get me wrong, but they don't seem to feel as drawn to them as their wives do. I'm guessing the men I know will object to this statement, which is a testament to the fact that they truly are great fathers.
But when I'm away from MJ for too long, my heart just aches. My husband? Misses her. But it's not the same. And it doesn't seem to be as intense. I blame this on biology. And here's where I think about cave women, again. Babies used to NEED their mothers for survival. That's how humans evolved. So doesn't it work out great if the mother's also WANTED to be with their children? Doesn't that seem evolutionarily advantageous? If a mother didn't want to be with her child, her child's survival was undoubtedly less likely. I realize this is crack science. But it just makes so much sense. And it gives me a handy explanation for why I spend so much time thinking about my baby when I should really be working.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Monday, December 27, 2010
Where'd all the snow go?
Merry Christmas all! Like our Christmas card, this greeting is a little late.
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Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
You: 15 months
(a little overdue)
All your growing up seems to be slowing down. You have now checked off all the major milestones - rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking. All the changes you go through now seem much more gradual. But then I stop and think about it, and realize you haven't slowed down at all.
At 15 months you are 20.5 lbs, 29" tall. Still a peanut, but a perfectly height-weight proportionate peanut. And who doesn't love a well-proportioned peanut? Your head circumference is still 80+%, while your height and weight are still ~15%. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that when we play and you throw your head back in laughter it gives me a bloody nose.
That bloody nose makes me feel a little less guilty about all the bruises on your forehead. Those bruises are hard earned. You love to climb on chairs, dressers, boxes, step stools, bath tub ledges, dogs, other babies, and Mom, just to name a few. It is hard to keep tabs on you.
Your vocabulary is pretty typical, I think. "Mama", all the time, for everything. And you manage to say it in a very demanding, Italian accent. You know "Dada" but use it less, though the other morning when you called for "Dada" instead of "Mama" I earned myself an extra hour of sleep. You're working on "nose", though every time you say "No" you jab your little finger up my nose. And "eye" earns a similar gesture. Your favorite food, bananas, causes a constant request for "Nana". A recent, random addition, is "Bubble", which you can actually say correctly. Other words.... ball, night-night, hi, bye-bye. You say "moo" and "baa" for cows and sheep, though I don't think you really grasp the meaning; but it's a fun party trick. And, of course, "NO". Also said in an Italian accent. Always said to mock us when we are trying to get you to stop doing something. We are guilty of frequently laughing in response, definitely teaching you bad habits.
Up until, oh, about 12 months of age, I felt like I was pretty free to do and say what I want. You didn't seem to be paying much attention. But now you most definitely are. If you see me putting on deodorant, you make the same motion. You find a q-tip (we're not clean people) and automatically stick it in your ear. You wander into the bathroom, find dad's shaving cream (capped, thankfully) and pretend to use it as shampoo. You blow on your food to cool it down, just because you've seen me do it. You grab my cell phone (any chance you get) and pretend to talk into it. Only, goodness, I hope I don't sound like that on my cell phone.
I'm not sure I'm ready to be a good role model. I used to avoid doing "bad" things around you, like watching TV, playing on my laptop, or fiddling with my cell phone. I made a point not to always "entertain" you, and you're great at entertaining yourself, but I wanted to model good behaviour. That was easier, though, because you weren't paying attention or were asleep for most of your first year. I now find my efforts to model good behaviour exhausting. I'm a techno geek. I have a blog, after all. And my efforts to shield you from technology are hard when I, myself, am so wired. My efforts to only feed you nutritious food are difficult when I, myself, love me some junk food.
Ultimately, I know I'll have to strike a balance. I think often about what I want for you. My greatest concern, I think, other than the standard I-want-you-to-be-happy-healthy-and-kind, is that you don't end with a feeling of entitlement. As someone who teaches college students, the issue of the increased sense of entitlement in today's students is a frequent topic of conversation among my friends and I. Is it the technology? I wonder. Not a lot else has changed, I don't think. I worry a lot about this. I worry that arguments between DH and I will damage you, somehow, though I like to think that the frequent hugging you see between us will trump the arguing. It seems to, because you get giddy every time you see us show affection towards each other. It makes me think we're doing something right. You know what else makes me think we're doing something right? You. You're precocious, curious, independent, smart, happy, funny, and everything I wanted my daughter to be. Turns out it's difficult to parent such a precocious child, but I think it's worth it. I love you, munchkin, and you're better than anything I could have hoped for.
All your growing up seems to be slowing down. You have now checked off all the major milestones - rolling over, sitting up, crawling, walking, talking. All the changes you go through now seem much more gradual. But then I stop and think about it, and realize you haven't slowed down at all.
At 15 months you are 20.5 lbs, 29" tall. Still a peanut, but a perfectly height-weight proportionate peanut. And who doesn't love a well-proportioned peanut? Your head circumference is still 80+%, while your height and weight are still ~15%. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that when we play and you throw your head back in laughter it gives me a bloody nose.
That bloody nose makes me feel a little less guilty about all the bruises on your forehead. Those bruises are hard earned. You love to climb on chairs, dressers, boxes, step stools, bath tub ledges, dogs, other babies, and Mom, just to name a few. It is hard to keep tabs on you.
Your vocabulary is pretty typical, I think. "Mama", all the time, for everything. And you manage to say it in a very demanding, Italian accent. You know "Dada" but use it less, though the other morning when you called for "Dada" instead of "Mama" I earned myself an extra hour of sleep. You're working on "nose", though every time you say "No" you jab your little finger up my nose. And "eye" earns a similar gesture. Your favorite food, bananas, causes a constant request for "Nana". A recent, random addition, is "Bubble", which you can actually say correctly. Other words.... ball, night-night, hi, bye-bye. You say "moo" and "baa" for cows and sheep, though I don't think you really grasp the meaning; but it's a fun party trick. And, of course, "NO". Also said in an Italian accent. Always said to mock us when we are trying to get you to stop doing something. We are guilty of frequently laughing in response, definitely teaching you bad habits.
Up until, oh, about 12 months of age, I felt like I was pretty free to do and say what I want. You didn't seem to be paying much attention. But now you most definitely are. If you see me putting on deodorant, you make the same motion. You find a q-tip (we're not clean people) and automatically stick it in your ear. You wander into the bathroom, find dad's shaving cream (capped, thankfully) and pretend to use it as shampoo. You blow on your food to cool it down, just because you've seen me do it. You grab my cell phone (any chance you get) and pretend to talk into it. Only, goodness, I hope I don't sound like that on my cell phone.
I'm not sure I'm ready to be a good role model. I used to avoid doing "bad" things around you, like watching TV, playing on my laptop, or fiddling with my cell phone. I made a point not to always "entertain" you, and you're great at entertaining yourself, but I wanted to model good behaviour. That was easier, though, because you weren't paying attention or were asleep for most of your first year. I now find my efforts to model good behaviour exhausting. I'm a techno geek. I have a blog, after all. And my efforts to shield you from technology are hard when I, myself, am so wired. My efforts to only feed you nutritious food are difficult when I, myself, love me some junk food.
Ultimately, I know I'll have to strike a balance. I think often about what I want for you. My greatest concern, I think, other than the standard I-want-you-to-be-happy-healthy-and-kind, is that you don't end with a feeling of entitlement. As someone who teaches college students, the issue of the increased sense of entitlement in today's students is a frequent topic of conversation among my friends and I. Is it the technology? I wonder. Not a lot else has changed, I don't think. I worry a lot about this. I worry that arguments between DH and I will damage you, somehow, though I like to think that the frequent hugging you see between us will trump the arguing. It seems to, because you get giddy every time you see us show affection towards each other. It makes me think we're doing something right. You know what else makes me think we're doing something right? You. You're precocious, curious, independent, smart, happy, funny, and everything I wanted my daughter to be. Turns out it's difficult to parent such a precocious child, but I think it's worth it. I love you, munchkin, and you're better than anything I could have hoped for.
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