Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
A favorite perch
It's been quite a week.
I haven't been posting a lot here. Largely because I've had things on my mind, that I wanted to talk about, but never felt this was the right forum. I've been frustrated, even depressed at times, by the lack of progress in my life. Let me start by saying I know how much I have to be thankful for, and I am very, very thankful. But I think it is human nature to want to move forward in some way. At least, it's my nature. And my whole life has been stagnant lately, despite desperate attempts on my part to move it forward.
And then, in the course of a week, it all changes. After 5 months of house hunting, last weekend we put in an offer on a place. We were the first potential buyers to see it, it had only come on the market 12 hours earlier, and when we walked in we immediately knew it was home. It felt so right. There are things about it that don't fit our "ideal" but we had come to realize how much our ideal would cost, and were worried that we would be house poor if we got something more expensive. This is the perfect balance of everything we needed. We made an offer, lower than their asking price, and they took it. So we move in a month! Now we are knee deep in packing and trying to clear out things we don't need. Our agent later told us she had been talking to an agent friend of hers whose clients tried to put an offer in that evening, but it had already been sold. Good thing we went with our gut....
And then there is the issue of my job/PhD program/the reason my kid is in childcare. I have been very, very unhappy there. I have wanted to spend more time with MJ. I have become convinced that this degree will do me no good now that we've decided to stay in Minnesota forever; academic positions almost always require moving around. After four years, I am not even close to finishing my PhD. I felt like it was time to admit it just wasn't going to happen. The difficulty for me was trying to decide what I want to do with myself instead. I decided a few months ago that I wouldn't quit until I had a plan. The problem, though, is that I wasn't getting a plan, I was becoming more unhappy at work, my boss was getting frustrated with my lack of progress, and my heart was no longer in it. I had moved on, and it was time to just cut ties. So I decided on Saturday it was time to stop living in fear of what happens next. I don't know what will happen next. But not moving forward simply because I was afraid no longer seemed logical. I decided to stop my PhD, and I told my advisor yesterday. And for now, I will stay home with MJ. And what will I do next? I don't know, but you can bet I'll figure it out.
And then, in the course of a week, it all changes. After 5 months of house hunting, last weekend we put in an offer on a place. We were the first potential buyers to see it, it had only come on the market 12 hours earlier, and when we walked in we immediately knew it was home. It felt so right. There are things about it that don't fit our "ideal" but we had come to realize how much our ideal would cost, and were worried that we would be house poor if we got something more expensive. This is the perfect balance of everything we needed. We made an offer, lower than their asking price, and they took it. So we move in a month! Now we are knee deep in packing and trying to clear out things we don't need. Our agent later told us she had been talking to an agent friend of hers whose clients tried to put an offer in that evening, but it had already been sold. Good thing we went with our gut....
And then there is the issue of my job/PhD program/the reason my kid is in childcare. I have been very, very unhappy there. I have wanted to spend more time with MJ. I have become convinced that this degree will do me no good now that we've decided to stay in Minnesota forever; academic positions almost always require moving around. After four years, I am not even close to finishing my PhD. I felt like it was time to admit it just wasn't going to happen. The difficulty for me was trying to decide what I want to do with myself instead. I decided a few months ago that I wouldn't quit until I had a plan. The problem, though, is that I wasn't getting a plan, I was becoming more unhappy at work, my boss was getting frustrated with my lack of progress, and my heart was no longer in it. I had moved on, and it was time to just cut ties. So I decided on Saturday it was time to stop living in fear of what happens next. I don't know what will happen next. But not moving forward simply because I was afraid no longer seemed logical. I decided to stop my PhD, and I told my advisor yesterday. And for now, I will stay home with MJ. And what will I do next? I don't know, but you can bet I'll figure it out.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
My tiny Neanderthal
My head is a bit mushy this morning, likely from spending an entire weekend with a raging toddler. DH worked all weekend, so, with the exception of a few outings, it was MJ and I, one on one. I was desperately looking forward to this weekend. No real errands or commitments that needed to happen. Beautiful weather. An escape from the confines of the indoors.
And it was all that, but spending all weekend with a creature that is very mobile but barely vocal can make a person feel soft in the head. When she was first born, I often wondered when she would surpass our dog in intelligence. I think that happened at about 8 or 9 months of age. I now think she has the intelligence of some sort of early human or primate. Not that I really know what the true intelligence of these creatures are. But there are lots of grunts, little sense of personal hygiene (by our modern standards) and a desire to destroy things. This seems to be in line with what I've learned about Neanderthals from Geico commercials.
We're constantly told by strangers, family and friends how "energetic" MJ is. It seems that way to us, too, but she's our only data point. So a few weeks ago, after a particularly shriek-filled, catastrophe-filled few days with MJ, my husband asked our daycare director if MJ was the most energetic child they'd seen. She laughed and said no, clearly indicating she's not even close to the most energetic child she's seen. But she followed it up by saying "She's the most fearless."
As if to illustrate this point, MJ decided to climb the chain ladder at the playground yesterday. It's about a 6 foot tall ladder, and I didn't think she could get past the first couple rungs, so I watched (and positioned myself to catch). She got all the way to the top, but couldn't climb onto the platform. So what did she do? She let go.
I caught her. But how do you instill fear in a child that doesn't seem to have any? My operating principle so far has been to encourage minor injuries, so she can learn her own limitations. It has worked pretty well, and she has fear of many things she should have fear of, and will now make sure she has good footing on stools and stairs. But she is getting to the point of major injuries, not minor injuries. I had hoped that her learning stairs can be scary would translate to her understanding that 6 foot tall ladders can be scary. But that mental jump is too much, apparently.
And it was all that, but spending all weekend with a creature that is very mobile but barely vocal can make a person feel soft in the head. When she was first born, I often wondered when she would surpass our dog in intelligence. I think that happened at about 8 or 9 months of age. I now think she has the intelligence of some sort of early human or primate. Not that I really know what the true intelligence of these creatures are. But there are lots of grunts, little sense of personal hygiene (by our modern standards) and a desire to destroy things. This seems to be in line with what I've learned about Neanderthals from Geico commercials.
We're constantly told by strangers, family and friends how "energetic" MJ is. It seems that way to us, too, but she's our only data point. So a few weeks ago, after a particularly shriek-filled, catastrophe-filled few days with MJ, my husband asked our daycare director if MJ was the most energetic child they'd seen. She laughed and said no, clearly indicating she's not even close to the most energetic child she's seen. But she followed it up by saying "She's the most fearless."
As if to illustrate this point, MJ decided to climb the chain ladder at the playground yesterday. It's about a 6 foot tall ladder, and I didn't think she could get past the first couple rungs, so I watched (and positioned myself to catch). She got all the way to the top, but couldn't climb onto the platform. So what did she do? She let go.
I caught her. But how do you instill fear in a child that doesn't seem to have any? My operating principle so far has been to encourage minor injuries, so she can learn her own limitations. It has worked pretty well, and she has fear of many things she should have fear of, and will now make sure she has good footing on stools and stairs. But she is getting to the point of major injuries, not minor injuries. I had hoped that her learning stairs can be scary would translate to her understanding that 6 foot tall ladders can be scary. But that mental jump is too much, apparently.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Toddler Cage Match
It starts out innocent enough....
But give a kid a box and a parent a camera and cage match will definitely ensue. It didn't help that we were shouting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Luckily they don't know what that means yet.
Friday, April 29, 2011
Blogger's Block
I haven't been around much lately, in case you haven't noticed.
A lot has been on my mind, and this just hasn’t felt like the place to share it. Questions about work, school, housing, our future, the list goes on. We lost the house that I posted about previously. It’s a long story that involves many delays and demands from the sellers, including the requirement we pay for their movers or they wouldn’t be able to be out of the house by the agreed upon closing date. We were pretty flexible at first, but that last one put us over the edge and we called off the deal. So we’re back to the house hunt, only now we’ve seen 90% of the 4 bedroom houses in St. Paul and are feeling less optimistic about finding something in our price range.
All those boxes I had started packing now seem presumptuous...
On the upside, though, MJ's still really cute!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Eeek! A giraffe ate my baby!
MJ has been totally in love with dogs and cats. So much so that we've even started bribing her to go places by saying "There might be a kitty there!" which works magically but is probably a parenting misdeed. So I really thought she'd love the zoo. It turns out the giraffes, which we could feed, were the only thing worthy of a smile.
On the up side, we learned that the whole monkeys-love-bananas concept is true! When we surreptitiously gave her a banana (the signs clearly said no outside food or drink) the monkeys were totally rapt. They kept motioning for her to give them some of her banana and made little "come hither" sounds. But, like the toddler she is, she wasn't willing to share that banana with anyone, even a monkey.
Monday, April 4, 2011
The packing begins
We have about 2.5 months until we close on the new house. We decided to start packing early, to make sure we wouldn't forget anything important.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
June 14, 2011
THE DATE WE CLOSE ON OUR NEW HOUSE!!!
To give you some perspective on why we're so excited, I think I only need to show some pictures.
These are some lovely pictures of our current kitchen, taken during our house hunt several years ago.
The reason you can't see the whole kitchen is that there's no place to stand to take in the whole kitchen. It looks a little different now, mostly just messier, but certainly no bigger.
Our future kitchen will be this:
The rest of the house is lovely too, but this is my dream kitchen. We thought about trying to renovate a kitchen in our current house or some other house, but the expected expense and possibility for marital destruction loomed large. I am going to have to become a much better cook to live up to this kitchen.
Other reasons we're in love? We're going from ~800 square feet to ~2200 square feet. We will be a block from a lovely park. And so many windows. The current owners renovated the house in 1992, adding this kitchen, an attached garage, and lots and lots of big windows. There is so much natural light and space.
There are a couple things we will need to learn to live with. Notably, those black slate floors. I love natural stone, but I suspect these are going to be a bear to keep clean. Also, the kitchen is so big that it echoes, and our not-quiet-toddler is amplified. I think there will be a need for some carpet on the floor to combat both of these.
A rough calculation suggests that I saw on the order of 70 houses. I think DH saw about half that; MJ and I went to many open houses while he was at work, which turns out to be a great toddler activity. What will we do with our free Sundays now?
To give you some perspective on why we're so excited, I think I only need to show some pictures.
These are some lovely pictures of our current kitchen, taken during our house hunt several years ago.
The reason you can't see the whole kitchen is that there's no place to stand to take in the whole kitchen. It looks a little different now, mostly just messier, but certainly no bigger.
Our future kitchen will be this:
Other reasons we're in love? We're going from ~800 square feet to ~2200 square feet. We will be a block from a lovely park. And so many windows. The current owners renovated the house in 1992, adding this kitchen, an attached garage, and lots and lots of big windows. There is so much natural light and space.
There are a couple things we will need to learn to live with. Notably, those black slate floors. I love natural stone, but I suspect these are going to be a bear to keep clean. Also, the kitchen is so big that it echoes, and our not-quiet-toddler is amplified. I think there will be a need for some carpet on the floor to combat both of these.
A rough calculation suggests that I saw on the order of 70 houses. I think DH saw about half that; MJ and I went to many open houses while he was at work, which turns out to be a great toddler activity. What will we do with our free Sundays now?
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Riling up the internet.
I'm feeling feisty today. I know I have a tendency towards "feisty" at times, and probably less kind descriptions as well. Usually I don't realize it, but sometimes I do.
Anyone tend to pick fights when they're feeling this way? Maybe I'm the only one. In the spirit of redirecting my energy, I found myself picking fights with the internet today. With unknown strangers. Just to get my feistiness out. I used to view my blog as a place to vent, but with so many of my friends and family now reading it, it leaves me little space to just let out words. Things that don't make sense. Things that shouldn't be said but which one still feels the need to say.
So I ask, where do you get your feistiness out? Although some of you are probably too kind for this sort of behavior, I know many of you, and you must have your moments. What is your favorite place, virtual or real, to let loose your inner b!tch?
Anyone tend to pick fights when they're feeling this way? Maybe I'm the only one. In the spirit of redirecting my energy, I found myself picking fights with the internet today. With unknown strangers. Just to get my feistiness out. I used to view my blog as a place to vent, but with so many of my friends and family now reading it, it leaves me little space to just let out words. Things that don't make sense. Things that shouldn't be said but which one still feels the need to say.
So I ask, where do you get your feistiness out? Although some of you are probably too kind for this sort of behavior, I know many of you, and you must have your moments. What is your favorite place, virtual or real, to let loose your inner b!tch?
Monday, March 21, 2011
Wild Child.
We just returned from a week in Florida visiting grandparents. Although the Floridians thought it was cold, it was a Minnesotan's dream. Highs of 70, lows of 50. No fear of sweat. Pure bliss.
Following is a video we took of MJ at a local outdoor mall. She managed to draw a small crowd with her antics. This child never stops making me smile.
**If you're not a grandparent and therefore don't intend to watch the whole thing, just skip to ~1:10 seconds. It might make you smile.
Friday, March 11, 2011
A girl and her dog*
I told you the cuteness was indescribable.
* Ignore that uncovered light socket about 6 inches from MJ's hand.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Life and other stories.
The cuteness that is currently residing on my camera is indescribable. But that is in the other room, so you'll just have to wait. To answer some of your other questions...
1) We have not yet bought a house. The house we made an offer on... we and the sellers didn't see eye to eye. My mom visited last week, so i drug her to ~15 open houses. I didn't actually count them, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more. I remain unconvinced that the combination of features we're looking for isn't a pipe dream. But I'm not yet willing to give up the dream, and the amount of money we save every month we stay in our house is significant. As long as we have a bigger space before next winter, I think i can survive.
2) I like my kid better than you. This is a new realization for me. But MJ is so fun, that, most of the time, I would far rather hang out with her than anyone else. I used to think that parents who didn't make a point to still spend time with friends were lame. More and more, though, if I cant spend time with her, too, its just not worth it.
3). Seriously, MJ is so fun. As long as shes gotten enough sleep. I mean, there's no one else in my life I can make laugh uncontrollably simply by crawling around on the floor.
4) this didn't start out as an ode to MJ post, but being as she is 18 months old in 2 days, here you go.
5) At 18 months old, your favorite things in the world are books and animals. Everything else is secondary.
Books: last weekend we took you to the eagles nest, a super awesome indoor playground with tunnels, slides and pure plastic joy. But, you were too enamored with the bookcase in the corner to care. Eventually, the screams of happiness from the children around you broke through your reverie, and you went down slides like a... Sailor? But it took a while. The first thing you want to do in the morning is read, and the last thing before you go to bed. I won't deny that i love it. But it would seem you're destined to be a nerd.
Animals: Sesame street? Kind of okay. Nature (the PBS show)? Pure toddler joy. Grizzly bears, tigers, anything with fur or feathers, apparently. You will find the single cat in any picture book and shriek with joy. I'm clinging to this fascination of yours with hopes that it will ward off princess lust. 7 months ago we took you to the zoo and you much preferred to stare at the people. I think things would go differently now.
Words: You talk an awful lot, though you sometimes seem indifferent to the actual sounds. You try to repeat things we say but don't come close. But you don't care. I'm thinking this will prove to be a problem as you get older. My favorite of your new words is "help". Much better than the shriek that used to indicate you wanted help. Others that you have added: bath, cup, tail, row, water, shoe, dirty. Everyone in your circle of trust is "mama", even dada. Except doggy, who sounds an awful lot like "dada".
Tidy: speaking of dirty... Any slight spill MUST be cleaned up. You don't get this from us. You love to wash your hands, brush your teeth, pick up toys... Im guessing this one will be a good thong as you get older.
Most of all, you are joyous. Mischievous. I think I use these words to describe you every month. In some ways, you've mellowed. You'll sit still for (slightly) longer periods of time. You'll allow us to read to you. We even successfully took you grocery shopping AND to a restaurant, two things I thought might never happen. You make every day worth waking up for, even when it's at 4 am.
1) We have not yet bought a house. The house we made an offer on... we and the sellers didn't see eye to eye. My mom visited last week, so i drug her to ~15 open houses. I didn't actually count them, I wouldn't be surprised if it was more. I remain unconvinced that the combination of features we're looking for isn't a pipe dream. But I'm not yet willing to give up the dream, and the amount of money we save every month we stay in our house is significant. As long as we have a bigger space before next winter, I think i can survive.
2) I like my kid better than you. This is a new realization for me. But MJ is so fun, that, most of the time, I would far rather hang out with her than anyone else. I used to think that parents who didn't make a point to still spend time with friends were lame. More and more, though, if I cant spend time with her, too, its just not worth it.
3). Seriously, MJ is so fun. As long as shes gotten enough sleep. I mean, there's no one else in my life I can make laugh uncontrollably simply by crawling around on the floor.
4) this didn't start out as an ode to MJ post, but being as she is 18 months old in 2 days, here you go.
5) At 18 months old, your favorite things in the world are books and animals. Everything else is secondary.
Books: last weekend we took you to the eagles nest, a super awesome indoor playground with tunnels, slides and pure plastic joy. But, you were too enamored with the bookcase in the corner to care. Eventually, the screams of happiness from the children around you broke through your reverie, and you went down slides like a... Sailor? But it took a while. The first thing you want to do in the morning is read, and the last thing before you go to bed. I won't deny that i love it. But it would seem you're destined to be a nerd.
Animals: Sesame street? Kind of okay. Nature (the PBS show)? Pure toddler joy. Grizzly bears, tigers, anything with fur or feathers, apparently. You will find the single cat in any picture book and shriek with joy. I'm clinging to this fascination of yours with hopes that it will ward off princess lust. 7 months ago we took you to the zoo and you much preferred to stare at the people. I think things would go differently now.
Words: You talk an awful lot, though you sometimes seem indifferent to the actual sounds. You try to repeat things we say but don't come close. But you don't care. I'm thinking this will prove to be a problem as you get older. My favorite of your new words is "help". Much better than the shriek that used to indicate you wanted help. Others that you have added: bath, cup, tail, row, water, shoe, dirty. Everyone in your circle of trust is "mama", even dada. Except doggy, who sounds an awful lot like "dada".
Tidy: speaking of dirty... Any slight spill MUST be cleaned up. You don't get this from us. You love to wash your hands, brush your teeth, pick up toys... Im guessing this one will be a good thong as you get older.
Most of all, you are joyous. Mischievous. I think I use these words to describe you every month. In some ways, you've mellowed. You'll sit still for (slightly) longer periods of time. You'll allow us to read to you. We even successfully took you grocery shopping AND to a restaurant, two things I thought might never happen. You make every day worth waking up for, even when it's at 4 am.
Monday, February 28, 2011
This is how I feel most of the time
Today's picture comes to you courtesy of my friend, neighbor, and fellow blogger. I have to throw in that "neighbor" part while I can, because we put in an offer on a house yesterday that would make her no longer my neighbor. I find this inexplicably sad. The idea of breaking up the girls and possibly their future rock band career has been in the back of my mind throughout this whole process. However, in the front of my mind is the fact that we no longer fit in our house. Furthermore, while I might lose two blogger neighbors, if we buy this house I would gain another.
At any rate, DH has been working a lot lately, which means a lot of one-on-one-toddler-time for me. Anyone that knows MJ knows that means constant activity, constant defiance and constant energy. She's usually a barrel of fun, but that is intermixed with plenty of tantrums and lots of death-defying stunts. This photo pretty much captures it. I'm not sure why she's been in the habit of sticking her hand down her diaper lately, though it's probably related to the fact that we FINALLY got her back into cloth after fighting off a series of nasty diaper rashes. And those letters scattered all around? She made sure I was watching, got a twinkle in her eye and dumped them all over the floor.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
A uniquely human trait.
Also, that look of defiance. Very human. Very MJ.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Happiness is....
... making a point to go to bed at 9:00, and MJ deciding to sleep in ('til 6:00!) Holy rested mama Batman!
... an unsolicited toddler hug.
... walking in the house to see Dada and MJ reading on the couch together. Granted, her book was upside.
... looking forward to putting this sweater on my little girl.
... an unsolicited toddler hug.
... walking in the house to see Dada and MJ reading on the couch together. Granted, her book was upside.
... looking forward to putting this sweater on my little girl.
... a high of 26 after a week of -30 windchills.
... date night this coming Sunday.
What makes you happy?
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Sound bites.
I'm working in the lab today. And I get 30-60 second spans of time where I am just waiting on things. It turns out this is too short a span of time to do anything that needs to be done. If I attempt to do anything that requires real thought I end up forgetting something in the lab that really shouldn't be forgotten. So I am going to make you a list. Of... I'm not sure. Things I'm thinking.
1. Our daycare tells us how absolutely joyous MJ is. How she's never upset. I feel like I don't get to see that, and it bums me out. So it means one of two things: either I have unrealistic expectations of what a joyous child looks like, or she takes out all her frustrations on us.
2. I wonder if MJ has seasonal depression. The wind chill on my walk into school today was -25 degrees. That's Fahrenheit, for all you Canucks, and very cold. So, needless to say, MJ hasn't been outside for more than minutes at a time since we returned from Oregon, over a month ago. I would think this could give a person seasonal depression.
3. Despite the cold, I love Minnesota. As I was climbing into bed next to DH last night, I realized how the cold makes marriages stronger. We'd been fighting a bit before we went to bed. But it was really cold, even in the house with our heater set to 68 degrees. So we were forced to cuddle. And cuddling makes you happier, even if you're grumpy with someone. And when you wake up, after a night of forced cuddling, your relationship is in a better place.
After my realization (these are the things I think about when I'm trying to fall asleep) I googled divorce rates by state. There is some correlation between climate and divorce rate. Not a strong one, mind you, but
Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota (three of the coldest states I know) rank 39th, 41st and 44th, respectively. It would be easy to find flaws in my logic (such as the fact that domestic abuse is higher in colder months) but I stand behind it in my own relationship.
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2009/10/15/marriages-and-divorce-a-50-state-tour/
4. We've been thinking about our domicile. Someday, maybe in the not too distant future, we'd like another kiddo (or 2 or 3). Our house is 800 square feet. If you live in NYC, you may be salivating at the thought of that much space. But for the rest of us, it is tiny. It currently works just fine, but if we add another child to the mix, I simply don't know how we'll all fit. I know families have fit in such spaces in the past, but this boggles my mind. Where do you put the children? Do they share a room? I can conceive of this from about age 2 onward, but before that it seems like the baby would just wake the toddler all-the-time. Or the baby sleeps in your room, which is fine in theory, but if baby #1 is anything like baby #2, my children are loud, rambunctious sleepers that keep me up.
So the questions have been flowing like wine: Are we suburb people? Is it time to move to a place with a bigger lot, and the possibility of deer wandering through? But that means a commute. And seeing isolation. And seeing our friends less. We actually really love where we currently live. Location, neighbors, property lot. Maybe we renovate? But that's expensive, and we have no equity in our house to pay for it. And our marriage would have to surrive a renovation. oy. So maybe we buy a new house. But where? What kind of life do we want? What would we do with our current house? Can we possibly be landlords? This is the constant dinner time conversation of late. So we continue to save our pennies for a possible downpayment or renovation, and still have no idea what we want. I take that back - what we really want is for the house we're currently living in to magically double in size. Anyone know how to make this happen?
Alright, I think that's enough rambling for now.
1. Our daycare tells us how absolutely joyous MJ is. How she's never upset. I feel like I don't get to see that, and it bums me out. So it means one of two things: either I have unrealistic expectations of what a joyous child looks like, or she takes out all her frustrations on us.
2. I wonder if MJ has seasonal depression. The wind chill on my walk into school today was -25 degrees. That's Fahrenheit, for all you Canucks, and very cold. So, needless to say, MJ hasn't been outside for more than minutes at a time since we returned from Oregon, over a month ago. I would think this could give a person seasonal depression.
3. Despite the cold, I love Minnesota. As I was climbing into bed next to DH last night, I realized how the cold makes marriages stronger. We'd been fighting a bit before we went to bed. But it was really cold, even in the house with our heater set to 68 degrees. So we were forced to cuddle. And cuddling makes you happier, even if you're grumpy with someone. And when you wake up, after a night of forced cuddling, your relationship is in a better place.
After my realization (these are the things I think about when I'm trying to fall asleep) I googled divorce rates by state. There is some correlation between climate and divorce rate. Not a strong one, mind you, but
Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota (three of the coldest states I know) rank 39th, 41st and 44th, respectively. It would be easy to find flaws in my logic (such as the fact that domestic abuse is higher in colder months) but I stand behind it in my own relationship.
http://pewsocialtrends.org/2009/10/15/marriages-and-divorce-a-50-state-tour/
4. We've been thinking about our domicile. Someday, maybe in the not too distant future, we'd like another kiddo (or 2 or 3). Our house is 800 square feet. If you live in NYC, you may be salivating at the thought of that much space. But for the rest of us, it is tiny. It currently works just fine, but if we add another child to the mix, I simply don't know how we'll all fit. I know families have fit in such spaces in the past, but this boggles my mind. Where do you put the children? Do they share a room? I can conceive of this from about age 2 onward, but before that it seems like the baby would just wake the toddler all-the-time. Or the baby sleeps in your room, which is fine in theory, but if baby #1 is anything like baby #2, my children are loud, rambunctious sleepers that keep me up.
So the questions have been flowing like wine: Are we suburb people? Is it time to move to a place with a bigger lot, and the possibility of deer wandering through? But that means a commute. And seeing isolation. And seeing our friends less. We actually really love where we currently live. Location, neighbors, property lot. Maybe we renovate? But that's expensive, and we have no equity in our house to pay for it. And our marriage would have to surrive a renovation. oy. So maybe we buy a new house. But where? What kind of life do we want? What would we do with our current house? Can we possibly be landlords? This is the constant dinner time conversation of late. So we continue to save our pennies for a possible downpayment or renovation, and still have no idea what we want. I take that back - what we really want is for the house we're currently living in to magically double in size. Anyone know how to make this happen?
Alright, I think that's enough rambling for now.
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