Thankful.

I must confess, this day has never meant much to me.  I always made an effort to make or buy a present.  Or a card.  As I've gotten older that effort has been less consistent.  But I confess that my efforts stemmed more from obligation than from real gratitude.  There are exceptions, and gratitude was always part of the package.  But this year is different.

I feel really, truly, utterly, completely thankful.  Both to my Mom and to DH's mom.  We are both lucky, and we know it.  We both have great mom's.  And we both know that we owe them everything.  But this is the first year that I get it.

On happy days, when MJ is all smiles and kisses and loves me more than anyone in the world, it makes me a little sad to know that she won't remember this.  That she'll remember all her teenage angst ridden years, but not her "mom-is-the-best-in-the-universe" years.  But then I remember I was the same.  I cooed and smiled just like MJ, I am sure.  And then spent years being ungrateful.  And my Mom just took it.  And still loves me, unconditionally.  And never even holds it against me (at least not that I know of.)

And the rough days?  When MJ just cries and refuses to sleep?  That's part of the package, too.  Those days when my Mom had no one around except two ungrateful children and she still loved us unconditionally?  I now know how hard that is (though still only the square root of that effort, because I'm sure two children is exponentially more difficult.)  This is the first year I can have any inkling of what my Mom went through.  And DH's mom.  We were both raised by two brave, strong, independent, loving, compassionate and totally wonderful women.  And we owe you everything.