Round Two

Today I am 34 weeks.  That sounds unbelievably close to the end.  It doesn't feel that close, but it sounds like it.  Time has slowed down.  Up until about 32 weeks, this pregnancy sped by.  I felt wonderful, I enjoyed being pregnant and I looked forward to what was to come.

Now I'm starting to feel some dread.  I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.  The heat is largely responsible.  And not being able to bend over.  Those two characteristics are responsible for most of the negative feelings I'm currently having towards being pregnant.  Last night, with the thermometer still hovering at ~90 degrees, I left the comfort of our air conditioned family room to the non-air conditioned kitchen.  I made myself a rootbeer float, the entire time thinking

"I am dying.  I am dying.  I am dying."

I knew, somewhere deep down, that this wasn't true.  But the heat seems to take away any capacity I have for rational thought.  Our 109 year old house has radiator heat, so there is no easy way to install central air.  We have a little room unit for MJ's room, my room, and our family room.  If MJ was content to stay in one of these areas my job would be easier, but she is not.  So I try to play along and be a rational human being, but it seems I am unable.

The other dread I'm starting to feel is about having a newborn.   If you've read this blog for a while, you'll know that this is a very wanted baby.  A very longed for baby.  A very tried for baby.  But I still feel a little dread.  Last time around, I felt much more dread.  I didn't like babies.  I didn't even like little kids, and figured they'd be pretty uninteresting until they were about 10.  In reality, I really enjoyed having a newborn; MJ was an easy newborn, it's just the other 2.5 years that she's been not so easy, but totally interesting.  So while I have a more firm understanding of the upsides, I also have a more firm understanding of the downsides.

I also have some fear about some of the things I feel committed to.  Last time I was committed to natural birth and breastfeeding.  I didn't do real great at either of them.  So this time around, I find myself even more committed.  From reading other mom blogs, I feel like a bit of a rarity on those fronts.  It seems like those moms who had c-sections last time had a scheduled c-section this time.  Those who had trouble breast feeding seem to not be doing it at all this time, or to be not as insistent that it will work. Instead, I find myself thinking I've learned from my mistakes and will definitely do better this time.  Am I setting myself up for even more failure and disappointment?  Having committed to a VBAC, I'm slightly terrified of failing at it.

The saving grace through all of this, is a better understanding that none of it matters as much as it seems to at the time.  MJ's birth experience and my breast feeding prowess don't define our relationship.  Despite what brochures at the pediatricians office tell you, there are other, far more important, aspects to the person she is becoming.  Do they play a role?  Probably.  I don't want to fully downplay their significance, but I think that part of the reason women play up their significance so much is that they are so damn hard.  So if they're that hard, they must matter a lot, right?  Otherwise, why bother?

To me, the reason they matter has more to do with insurance purposes.  We all pay a lot for insurance, but how often do we really use it?  How often does it matter?  For most people, not much, but if you need it you're sure glad you have it.  Similarly, the reason to avoid a c-section is not so much about the birth experience but about those rare bad outcomes.  The reason to breastfeed is that the antibodies might save your kid from a life threatening illness.  There are other, touchy feely reasons, but it's not like those touchy feely moments don't exist if you give your kid a bottle.  It's not like you're not ecstatic to meet your baby even if they don't come through your vagina.

So anyway, yes, I'm committed, but no, in the end it probably won't matter that much.  Ask me in two months time how that's working out for me.

Welcome, summer.

I wrote a post a week ago and never posted it.  And that was about a week later than I had intended to post something.  So I'm a bit behind.

Here I sit at 33.28 weeks.  With a photo from 32.86 weeks.  Having not written since 31 weeks.

I have finally gotten.... tired.  It hit pretty suddenly, I think.  I knew I'd been slowing down, in the sense that I wasn't walking as much as I used to because my hips hurt at some point.  But last week I realized that I couldn't do everything I wanted to (i.e. couldn't get everything done that I wanted to because I felt like crap when I did.  If I didn't stop myself and force myself to just sit down and rest, I would get so tired I felt like passing out.)

Part of it, undoubtedly, is that summer hit last weekend.  The temperatures got into the 90's, and I became an uber bitch.  I realized that the heat just puts me over the edge.  Usually I can deal with one thing well, two things start to get rough and three is when I become bitchy.  Being 33 weeks pregnant, I'm already dealing with one thing.  So if MJ gets whiny I am less patient than usual.  But if it's hot, and MJ gets whiny, I'm just a terrible person.  I didn't realize this until the end of the weekend, so I spent much of the weekend being super bitch.  Next time I may just insist on A/C and then those around me will be better off all around.

 I am looking very pregnant these days (see above if you need confirmation).  Everybody stares now, and looks like they want to strike up a conversation.  This is most common on the elevator.  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the person next to me staring, looking like they want to say something.  Because everyone wants to know.  You're the automatic conversation starter.  "When are you due?  What are you having?  How are you feeling?"  No one can resist, so they stare, waiting for an opening to strike up a conversation, and I try to stay absorbed in my own world so I don't have to have the same conversation 8 times a day.

I love the question "Are you going to work right up until you deliver?"  The alternative, when you have a toddler, is to not work and to stay home, presumably with your toddler.  And I guarantee that chasing a toddler at 40 weeks pregnant sounds way more exhausting than sitting at my desk all day.  So yes, I will "work" until the end, unless that no longer sounds doable.  I made it clear to DH this week that I am going to be needing more help.  That I will be doing less around the house.  I think he is starting to get it.

Let's see, other things pregnancy related.  32 week appointment (last week) went well.  Nothing to report.  I was up 36 pounds but haven't weighed myself since.  We met with our doula last week, which felt very productive.  It got us thinking about all the delivery things again.  By this point in last pregnancy I was obsessively reading books about labor and delivery.  A lot of Ina May Gaskin was happening.  And this time, I'm just not really thinking about it.  Avoidance, maybe?  I'm not sure that all of that focus did me much good last time, so perhaps a more relaxed attitude will be a good thing.  Sleep has become... intermittent.  I've been spending more nights in the guest room bed, because all the tossing and turning of the dog and the hubs seems to keep me awake these days.  I sleep well when I sleep by myself, but I think anything that wakes me up even a little bit reminds me that I have to pee and sends me to the bathroom.

The nursery still isn't complete, mainly because I've been busy?  Distracted?  Lazy?  Probably all of those adjectives work.  I get a little obsessive about planning the nursery.  It's probably my favorite baby planning activity.

This week I drove up to the Iron Range for a two day work trip. 

I spent a lot of time looking at mines.  It's something I find fascinating, particularly in person.  I struggled to take pictures that could capture the scale of these mines.  I didn't really succeed.  The pit in this pictures is about a mile across and 600 feet deep.  And man made.  I find these things beautiful, in a totally weird sort of way.  It was a great trip, but made for a busy week.

 Then I returned and landed myself at the OB's office due to uterine cramping.  After being totally freaked out, and doing some testing, we decided it was from all the "off-roading" I did driving around these mines.  All is fine, the muscle cramps have mostly gone away, and little girl is kicking away.

A friend of mine, whose due date was two days after mine, had her little boy this week.  All seems to be well, but it was very sobering to me.  It was also fascinating to see how "normal" he looks.  There's a full-fledged baby in there, something I can't really wrap my head around, despite having been through this before.

Here ya go...

As I promised, a couple pictures...

Travel and gestation.

 

The title pretty much sums up my current experience.  Last week I spent in Ottawa.  I don't have many pictures of that (other than one in my Twitter feed) because I spent my whole time in talks and seminars, and catching up on sleep.  It was pretty awesome.  When I first discovered I would need to go on this trip (for work) I was kind of bummed.  Five days away, more than I've been away from MJ for her entire life  But as the day approached, I realized how exhausted I was, and how much five days away would be appreciated.  And the work aspect was pretty good, too.

8 hours after arriving back in Minnesota, we left for a trip to Madeline Island.  We went with some friends, and really had a nice time.  I planned the trip and convinced others to join, so I felt somewhat responsible for the crappy weather we experienced.  Nothing that could have been predicted, and we still had a nice time, but less outside time than I had hoped.  We have one more trip planned to a friends cabin in a few weeks, and then we hunker down.

31 weeks today.  35 pounds gained.  Although I spent my early pregnancy stressed about weight gain, I have now given up.  I have been active, eating fairly well, but my body just likes to gain weight.  And the thing I was most worried about, becoming incredibly uncomfortable, has not happened.  I still feel very good at 31 weeks.  I can still go for somewhat long walks.  Although I can tell I'm starting to slow down, I'm feeling so much better than I did last pregnancy that I'm just going to roll with the next couple months. 

I did invest in some more maternity clothes.  I realized what a scrub I looked like at work and decided I needed to fix it.  I just didn't even feel good in my own skin.  I tried to invest in things that were non-maternity and which I can wear post-maternity, we'll see if it works like I plan. 

Everything else has been going well.  Movement has been intense.  MJ is still excited, though tonight we had a conversation about the downsides of her future sister.  I pointed out that her sister will sometimes steal her toys and argue with her.  So MJ got down next to my belly and whispered "Please, please don't steal my toys.  Please?  Please?"  She likes to take her sister's pajamas and dress her babies in them. 

After spending the weekend with a (very cute) four-month old we had a healthy reminder of what we're in for.  Going back to feeding and changing round the clock, as well as very little sleep, will be hard.  We're finally getting to a point of independence with MJ (did I mention her dad potty trained her while I was in Ottawa?), and then we go back to square one.  I'm still excited, but I've resolved to really enjoy the next 2 months. 

Edit:  If you hadn't noticed, there are some pictures up there that aren't showing up.  They're on my home computer, so for now you'll just have to hold your horses.  Will repost them soon.

On the move

Taken at 28 weeks 3 days

 29 weeks.

Due Date: 1 August.  2.5 months away.

Weight Gain:  32 lbs!

I think my midwife must be bad at math, because at my appointment the other day she said "22 pounds!  Right on track!"  I didn't correct her.

Symptoms:  Tired.  Always somewhat hungry, often ravenously hungry.  I know I don't want to gain more.  I know to tone it down.  But it doesn't seem to be working.  Did I mention tired?  The fatigue hit this week.  I know part of it is that DH has been working a ton, so it has just been MJ and I.  But I feel bad because by the end of the evening I have little energy for anything.  I'm short with MJ.  I haven't been cooking, or even really cleaning, because the effort doesn't feel worthwhile.  Too soon to be feeling this way!

What's different this time:  Much less pain than last time around.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Food.  All the time.

Sleep:   I've been sleeping well but am still so tired....

I am loving:  My time with MJ.  Trying to soak in having her all to myself.  Knowing she will never get our undivided attention again, I love just spending mother daughter time with her. 

I miss:  I saw a photo of myself.  I know logically it wasn't even during a particularly thin spell, but it looked amazing.  I hope I can look like that again.

 

I am looking forward to: Lots of trips.  We were in Chicago last weekend.  On Saturday I leave for a work trip for FIVE DAYS!  This will be the longest I've been away from MJ.  At first I was really sad about it, but now I'm really looking forward to it.  It sounds relaxing, even though I know I'll be working a lot while I'm there.  It will also be my last solo trip for, likely, a very long time.  And given how impatient I've been with my darling child, it will be good for her to have some one-on-one dad time.  Then I come back from that and leave the next day for Madeline Island.  Part of why I've planned all these is knowing I'll soon be stuck at home, sequestered from the public, unable to travel.  Trying to get it out of my system while I can, so that I'm happy to be home and tired of traveling.

I'm spazzing about:  Nothing in particular.  I finished the crib.  I washed and put away baby clothes and diapers.  I have much of what NEEDS to be done finished.  I'll be ordering a recliner this week, and finishing up final touches once this bout of traveling is done.

Milestones/Progress: Nothing much.  Had my gestational diabetes test the other day, and am assuming no news is good news.  Got my rhogam shot.  Pre-registered for the hospital. 

Movement: Big movements, though less frequent.  Definitely a lopsided belly.  MJ's butt always stuck out on the right side, and it seems that side is sticking out this time too.  Maybe she stretched it out for her sister?  At any rate, all the movement comes on the right side and that is the side that I see move as well.

It's a...: Girl.  The name is still undecided, so those of you who have gotten names from MJ, they don't mean much yet :) 

Exercise:  I've been getting a lot of steps in (at least compared to before) but I am getting more and more tired doing it.  I figure I have to keep doing it, though, so I don't become too lazy...

First born:  I got MJ some books about having a baby sister around and she is SO in love with them.  One is this book contained in a collection of stories by Eloise Wilkin that my mom got her.  It is all about a little girl who has a baby that she takes care of while her mom takes care of her new little sister.  MJ is constantly asking me to read it to her, and is clearly dreaming of when she gets to do the same.  I think her maternal instinct is stronger than mine.  Another little girl at daycare has a new baby sister, a few months old, and MJ is constantly asking her questions about her sister, and why she does certain things (why is she crying?  Does she want her nuk?  etc.)  She actually seems to be preparing for being a big sister, which is fascinating.  She has told me how she will bounce her and rock her when she cries.  How she will always make sure she is buckled into her car seat.  It all makes me wonder if having a first born who's a girl is easier than having a first born who's a boy.  I have yet to meet a boy child who cares about another baby arriving, but little girls seem to relish the thought.

She did recently ask me how baby gets out.  I didn't know how to answer that one, but I'm sure I'll have to revisit it.  Especially since she might be around when I go into labor, I'd like to prepare her for the process.

All About MJ

This last weekend the fam had our first visit to Chicago.  It was a nice getaway, and our first family trip in quite a while.  It was also a reminder that, although the Twin Cities are a "big" city, they are not big in the way that some places are.  All in all, while nice to visit, I'm glad to have our small city to come home to.

It was also a weekend in which I started to come to terms with the fact that MJ is becoming a three year old.  It started exactly two weeks ago today.  At first I attributed it to poor sleeping.  While I still think poor sleeping plays a role in some of her poor behavior, I am starting to think this is an age thing.  Having never had a three year old before, it took me a while to notice the symptoms.  But it took the eloquent words of Dooce to give me the "aha" moment....  A few of the symptoms:

1.  Foot stomping when I deny a dinner of ice cream.

2.  A default to whiny voice.  This is probably the one I have the least patience with.

3.  Daily tantrums.  Less fulfilling than my word of the day emails.

While visiting Chicago, we went to the aquarium.  I used to love aquariums, but I am coming to despise them.  I think we've taken MJ to 3 or 4 aquariums in her short life.  They always seem like a good kid activity that is also interesting to adults.  Win win all around!  Only not, because they are always disastrous.  I have thought that perhaps it is coincidental, but I am starting to think it is not.  It is simply too much to expect this kid to enjoy things that she cannot directly participate in.  And aquariums are most definitely not participatory.  You are expected to just watch.  No running?  No hands in the water?  No licking the glass?  No.  No.  No.  

Her tantrums have become... intense.  As everything with this kid has been, I expect "three" will be extreme.  I think it is particularly hard because 2 has been such a magical age.  It started almost exactly a year ago.  She has been sweet, and curious, and joyous and everything I could want in a kid.  She is still a great kid, but now she has such strong opinions!  About the way things should be!  Like the right way to get to the grocery store!  "It's not this way mom!"  About where Baby should be put for the night!

So that was our weekend.  And then I came home to, among other things, a very sad blog roll.  It seems there is much tragedy in some of the blogs I have been following.  It makes all these concerns seem so petty.  And they are.  But you know what?  We, as humans, are designed to dwell in the petty.  You cannot live every day immersed in drama and trauma, on the edge of your seat.  It's not good for you.  It's okay to feel petty things sometimes, because otherwise we would only be feeling big and important things, and that is simply exhausting.  So I'll just appreciate that I get to feel petty things for the time being, and feel lucky I am not feeling important things right now.

But this girl?  She is still amazing.  And hilarious.  My favorite comment of the trip occurred when we reached altitude.  I told her we were in the air now, and she looked out the window at all the tiny houses (we weren't very high, it was a short flight).  And she looked around on the plane.  And then asked "Why isn't everybody flapping their arms?" 

She is also at the age where she busts out embarrassing comments and questions at every turn.  

"Is that a baby?"

"No Mj, I think he's about your age"

"Then why does he have a nuk?  Only babies have nuks.  He shouldn't have a nuk."

I'm certain his Mom heard my daughter criticize her parenting.  

A favorite is her asking me the name of everyone that walks by our house.  Often it is a neighbor, whose name I should know but don't.  And so I cowardly pretend I didn't understand her toddler speak, until she yells it so loud that everyone can hear it, certainly most can understand it, and possibly put together the awkwardness that is happening.

Or when she asks me, loudly in public, "Did that woman poop on the potty?  She has cake" because we have been so desperate in our attempts to bribe her to poop on the potty that we have even offered cake as an exchange.

This girl is amazing.  Here are some pictures of the past month or two to prove it.

New Life

26 weeks, 4 days (can I round up to 27?)

Due Date: 1 August.  3 months from today.

Weight Gain:  28 lbs!

Did you read that?  Being as 25 to 35 lbs is the recommended weight gain amount, in an ideal world I would be full term right now.  But I'm not.  I've already gained what I'm supposed to and still have 3 more months to go.  Needless to say, I'm nervous about how much more I will inevitably gain (and need to lose).

Symptoms:  Some mild aches and pains but nothing like last pregnancy.  I can tell, though, that I'm starting to get into third trimester.  I'm starting to get worn out much more easily.  Getting up is a bit of a struggle, and my motivation is beginning to tank.  But still quite a lot to do. 

What's different this time:  Much less pain than last time around.

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Craving lots of sweets.  That's not necessarily unusual, the need seems more urgent now, though.

Sleep:   Not quality.  I've been getting a lot of it but still not feeling rejuvenated.  I blame part of this on our dog, who insists on sleeping under the covers but then gets too hot and gets out of the bed.  Then gets cold and goes back under the covers, repeat, all night long.  When you're not sleeping well already it certainly doesn't help.

I am loving:  The weather.  Today I worked in the garden and planted some plants, and MJ loved digging around in the dirt.  As for pregnancy, still just loving the movement.  It's such a comforting presence, a little reminder of something amazing happening even at the most mundane of times.

I miss:  Being comfortable in clothes.  I'm down to one pair of comfortable pants, and most of my shirts are too short.

 

I am looking forward to: Finishing the nursery.  Still a lot to do on it, though.

I'm spazzing about:  Getting everything done!  Thankfully we got some of the big stuff done, like doing the taxes, getting a new car and assembling some furniture.  The remainder is mostly the little stuff, like digging out all the baby stuff and making sure everything's washed.  Though we do have a car to sell, too.

Milestones/Progress: Viability!  Although there's no definitive date when this happens, over 90% of babies born at 26 to 27 weeks of age survive.  So it's nice to know I'm in that window.  Which isn't to say I want the baby to come now.  Also, depending how you define your trimesters, I'm now in third trimester (being as I have exactly 3 months left....).  And baby is now about the size of a cauliflower.

Movement:  Lots of it.  DH can now feel it fairly easily.  MJ still hasn't, but that's mostly because she is incapable of sitting still for more than 2 seconds, and usually you have to rest your hand for longer than that before you feel something.

It's a...: Girl.  The name is still undecided, so those of you who have gotten names from MJ, they don't mean much yet :) 

Exercise:  Lots of walking.  It's been beautiful outside, definitely trying to take advantage.

First born: Amazing, as usual.  She's been starting to develop a sense of humor, which is thoroughly entertaining to watch.  Her jokes make absolutely no sense, but her hysterical laughter is impossible not to laugh at.  Furthermore, she is intent on understanding the jokes made around her.  If someone laughs at a joke, she will laugh along, and then try to find out what was funny. 

She's still fixated on her sister.  She has explained to me how she will protect her, and help her, and put her to sleep, etc.  If she is half the sister she intends to be she will be amazing. 

In other categories of new life, these baby birds are new residents of our front porch:

When we moved in last year there were two nests on our front porch complete with lots of bird poop underneath.  The birds moved out when we moved in (the house had been empty before) and we intended to bring the nests inside over the winter, when anything else living in the nests would be killed by the cold.  But we forgot.  And one family moved back in this spring.

After watching the birds sit on the nest with MJ, I started to grow attached.  We peeked inside two weeks ago and saw four tiny eggs.  Today when we peeked inside there were no more eggs, but tiny new residents.  MJ was ecstatic.   The bird poop seems a small price to pay.  It's also a nice reminder that VERY new life is often kind of grotesque looking, as these naked little birds were.  Much like newborn babies.  It takes some time for them to fluff up and plump out before they look cute. 

Cleaning out the fridge.

The fridge being my brain.  I feel the need to update, but can't seem to find the motivation for a full-commitment, well thought out post.  So you'll get the crusty stale things that get cleaned out of my brain simply because they can't stay in there any longer.  Sounds appetizing, no?

1.  This pregnancy is going quickly.  I judge this, somewhat, based on how little progress I've made on the nursery.  I wanted to be done by 25 weeks, but I'm not even done painting the crib yet, which I've been working on for about a month now.  Oy.

2.  I love my pedometer.  I'm pretty sure that's like saying "I love support hose", i.e. not something you're really supposed to admit.  But I feel like when I get a lot of steps in it rewards me, and when I am a lazy bum it chides me.  Considering all I'm really up to at present is walking, it at least keeps me moving.  Good pedometer.

3.  I have been trying to avoid saying I hate my job, but I kind of don't like it.  I am trying to be grateful, and patient, and hope that things will get better.  I love my co-workers.  I think that in time it could become great, but I'm coming to realize I don't know how long that will be.  As it stands now, all day, every day, I work on reports.  Very long reports.  For months at a time, the same report.  It is often mind-numbingly boring.  I know that work is not always supposed to be fun, but I have had plenty of other jobs.  There are always pluses and minuses, but currently there are very few pluses.  The number reason I find my motivation is that MJ is currently THRIVING at preschool and I couldn't justify keeping her home with me.  So I might as well work.   But once I have another?  It's going to be hard to justify leaving her to go to a job I don't like very well.  I know you're not supposed to say this sort of thing to the internet, because it's bound to get back to someone who it shouldn't get back to, but that's what's on my mind.  Internet, are you tired of hearing me complain about my various jobs yet?  Because there's been a lot of that this year, I hope it will end soon.

4.  Yes, MJ is thriving.  Her teacher is AMAZING.  While I didn't come up with this description, her teacher reminds me of a very gentle and kind Mary Poppins with flaming red hair.  Every day I drop her off or pick her up they are doing something that looks joyous and educational.  They are pretending to be airplanes.  Or learning about caterpillars, followed by a snack of everything the hungry caterpillar eats.  They have butterfly cocoons in their classroom.  They are always reading.  They are always learning and it seems every bit of fun has a lesson couched within it.  I think MJ is in love.  She has become better at sharing, she has learned new things that she comes home and tells me and she enjoys every moment of it.  I realize "school" isn't necessary at 2 1/2, but the strides I see her taking make me question that.  At least for her, I know the right thing is not for her to stay home with me.

5.  I am psyched that my discovery of insoles for my shoes has cured me of back pain.  But I'm little perplexed about summer footwear.  I've been wearing Tom's without socks, and now my shoes just stink.  But I can't put insoles into sandals.  ::dilemma::

6.  My husband has been amazing lately.  So helpful, so present.  It has brought much peace to our household.

7.  There are so many things I'm trying to fit in before the baby comes.  As much friend time as possible, because I feel like we'll be house bound without much social life for a long time.  Lots of cooking, because I found it near impossible when MJ came along (particularly once she was mobile.)

8.  Some of my favorite recipes from this last week:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/18/dining/basic-pizza-dough-recipe.html
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2012/03/petite-vanilla-scones/
http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Arugula-Bacon-and-Gruyere-Bread-Pudding-350898

9.  It's intriguing to me how the more interesting my daughter becomes the less I have to say about her.  It's almost like words can no longer capture the person she's become so often I don't even try.  Pictures probably do a better job.  I am so proud of her, which is a feeling I haven't really had until recently.  She is compassionate with other children, and (usually) when she does something to upset someone she will feel awful about it and start crying herself.  She is independent and feisty, and prefers to do everything by herself that she possibly can.  She's not violent, she's good at sharing and she's curious about everything around her.  Granted, she's 2, so none of these are all encompassing adjectives.  But, in my limited experience with 2 year olds, she seems to be doing well at these things (not that I'm biased or anything).  And I guess I'm proud of her because I see her figuring these things out for herself.  We've played some role, I'm sure, through parenting, but I see her making most of these strides on her own.  It's kind of hard to have such an independent 2 year old, but it's so fascinating to watch what she's capable of already.

10.  MJ had her first dentist visit today.  As I suspected, it was mostly a waste of time.  But I guess now it's a little more familiar, so should she ever need to visit she might do better?  She let them stick their hands in there and polish a bit, which I guess is all you can expect of a 2 year old.  She was interested in it all, but after about 10 minutes was too antsy to sit in the chair and could only think about the playground I had promised her after.  All in all, a fairly uneventful milestone in her young life.  20 teeth, no signs of cavities.

10.  My fridge is exhausted.  It's not really clean, but I guess the things that had to be taken out were.

I'm still wearing pants.

Consider this your 24 week update with a splash of 25, since I'm about 5 days behind. 

I had decided weeks ago (a month maybe?) that I was done with pants.  When the belly gets big enough, there are simply no pants that are comfortable enough.  I tried some full panel this time around, but they just make my belly itch.

But this morning it snowed.  And last week it was cold, so I'm still wearing pants.  We had a tease of nice weather (it's really still nicer than usual) that inspired a garden, but the beans appear to be goners and after the predicted frosts this week the peas might be as well.  I knew I might be jumping the gun, but that's how it goes.  I'm more sad about still wearing pants and having no winter coats that fit around my belly than I am about the vegetable loss.

I did finish that bed.  I'll post pictures at some point.  And we had a lovely visit from family, more on that at some point, too.  But really, for the past week, I've been all consumed with taxes.  And van shopping.  Nothing makes you sound like more of an adult than saying "Sorry I don't have time to party with you, but I've been busy with taxes and shopping for a minivan."

I'm happy to report that both are finished.  The taxes this year were scary.  If there was a time for us to become republicans, this would have been the year and the season.  But if this didn't do it then likely nothing will.  Not only did we buy a new house, but we had a big jump in income, DH helped start a new business, we converted a house into a rental and we have to file in two states.  I thought of hiring someone else, but by the time I told them everything they needed to know and tracked down all the documents I just did it myself.  The two state thing is frustrating, too.  We make the majority of our income in Wisconsin, because that's DH's place of employment.  Minnesota has reciprocity, meaning they credit what we pay to Wisconsin for what we owe them.  But it's frustrating, because Wisconsin gets 90% of our state taxes despite the fact that we live in and use the services of Minnesota exclusively.  Doesn't this seem stupid to anyone else?  That's all I'll say about taxes.  That part of being an adult is done for the year.

As for the minivan, that part of being an adult is just starting.  We pick up the new wheels tomorrow.  Here she is:

 

If you look close you can see MJ inside.  We are even getting a remote starter installed (Oh!  Hold me back!) so it really is my dream-mobile.  We went into the car hunt thinking we'd get a mid-size three row SUV.  Why three rows?  Because we have family visit a lot and don't want to have to rely on two cars every time.  And because we tend to keep our cars for decades, and want the option to haul our children's friends around.  And maybe even squeeze another of our own children in there if we still feel like it.  

But may I inform you the problem with 3 row suv's?  You can't get to the back row unless you fold the second row back.  Which you can't do with a carseat installed.  So you climb over the seats?  Or take the seat out?  Ugh.  The practicality of the van almost immediately won us over.  Except that it's a van.  And we have still-so-many biases to overcome on minivans. But we'll get there, I have no doubt.

Oh yeah, the 24 week update.  

Hmm..  Weight gain (at least when that picture was taken): 21 lbs.

Kicks:  all the time.  DH has felt them a few times.

Names:  We're not telling.  I finally got hubs to have the discussion.  He was using delay tactics to avoid having the conversation.  His last delay tactic finally expired (I want to wait until viability!).   I have no doubt that MJ will relay to everyone whatever we decide, even if we try to keep it a secret.  

Other than that, still feeling good.  Hips get a little sore during walks, and I find myself just overall a bit more tired.  I feel a little more uncomfortable ordering a latte at a coffee shop being as I'm so clearly pregnant.  Surprisingly, though, I've had very few stranger comments.

Other than the man at Menard's.  Last week I fixed the toilet and bathroom door in our rental house.  I was at the Hardware store buying some supplies, when an old man shouted "EH?  You building something there?"  Clearly I thought he was talking about the toilet parts I held in my hand.  So I made some awkward comment about rebuilding a toilet, only to realize he meant in my belly.  Weird.  (Pretty proud of my handyman abilities, though, and happy to report that our renters have decided to stay.  The alternative was they move out when their lease expires on August 1, my due date.)

Dream fail

Remember that dream I had of not returning to Ikea for a full year? I'll think about that dream as I return to Ikea tomorrow to pick up a missing piece for the bed I've been assembling. Also? Baby Mama? More than just a handy moniker. MJ has actually started calling me Baby Mama. Won't it be weird when she reads this blog someday? We have so many more tools to embarrass our teenagers than our parents ever dreamed of. Lastly, my unborn is kicking me. A lot. Which is why I'm not asleep right now. Perhaps this is retaliation for letting MJ yell "POOPY! POOPY! POOPY!" at the top of her lungs into my belly. The milestone of 23 weeks is that they can hear everything now, and MJ just wants to fully prepare her for the family she's to be born into.

The 7 Year Ikea Itch

Yesterday we made a major Ikea outing.  There was a time when we both loved a trip to Ikea.  That time has passed.  I suppose it was back when we had an undecorated, unfurnished space and we could envision so many possibilities.  And back when we weren't chasing a toddler and had the time to envision those possibilities.  Now, the only things we envision are losing MJ when she decides to hide under a table or her desperate attempts to try to jump off a bunk bed.  There are many possibilities, but generally not good ones.


I am fairly certain we managed to buy the most difficult to assemble item at Ikea yesterday. It's a bed with storage underneath for our Guest Bedroom (which would be better named the Grandma bedroom).  The Grandma's have been kind, but have been grumbling a bit about climbing off the floor every morning.  And since I know we'll have many visitors when the baby is born, it seemed to be time to get them a bed frame.  At any rate, I've assembled at least one of every class of furniture from Ikea (chairs, bookshelves, tables, beds, dressers, etc.) and this one is far and away the most complicated.  It's a 3 boxer, which should have been my first warning.  And the manual is better termed a novelette.  A cryptic novelette that MJ could better interpret than I could.

I hope to make it a year without having to return to Ikea.  Maybe by then I will have gained some of the affection I've lost.

This is, in a round about way, a pregnancy update post.  But I'm tired of boring titles and fill in the blank answers, so you'll get a bit more rambling.  These photos are now about 5 days old; I'm 2 days shy of 23 weeks but these were taken at 22 weeks, and I just never got around to posting them.  As you can see, the full body pregnancy weight gain has begun.  I remember looking in the mirror at some point in my last pregnancy and thinking "Oh my!  Has my face always been this chubby?"  I was relieved to find that the answer was "no" and that it returned to what I remembered it looking like after pregnancy.  This time around, I'll try to accept that this is just what my body likes to do when I get pregnant.  I'm still hovering right around 20 lbs of weight gain, and have been for a couple weeks, so that's somewhat comforting.  Plateaus of this sort are a good thing.

The movement this week has been extensive.  There have been several nights where she kicks so much I can't fall asleep.  I'm finding that I really, really enjoy it, even when it makes me grumble a bit.  In general, I'm enjoying pregnancy.  I'm not one of those glowing "I love being pregnant!" women, but it has been pleasant.  Although it's getting more difficult to do simple things like bend over, and build Ikea furniture, I still feel really good, and that's more than I could say last time at this point.  My exercise has slacked and I need to pick up the pace so that I stay in a semblance of good shape.  Walking is all I'm aiming for at this point, my dreams of running throughout pregnancy have dissipated.

I've been trying to get everything set up around here before I get too uncomfortable, thus our Ikea trip.  I've been painting MJ's old crib, which has turned into a rather large project.  It's looking nice, but I really want to finish so that I can fix up other things in the baby room.  After a week, I'm only about a third done.  And then there's taxes.

That's about all I've got to report.  We've had some family visit, are about to have some more family visit.  My job is still incredibly boring, though my boss and coworkers are wonderful, and the hours are pretty nice.  MJ is still amazingly cute about the baby.  Every morning she runs in and says good morning to her.  She talks about wanting to read to her sister.  And how excited she is to have her sit in the back seat with her.  I feel a little bad for her, knowing that the reality, at least at first, will probably not be as great as she has built it up in her head.  But I'm hopeful that this will help in some capacity.

I think I'll just wrap up with some of my favorite photos from the past month.

21 weeks

I'm going to be tired later today, but at the moment I simply can't sleep.  After an hour of doing everything but, I've thrown in the towel. 6 1/2 hours is never enough, I know that, but it's survivable.  I can see MJ on the monitor, in the early throes of waking up.  This is my last possible moment of quiet in the day.

At 21 weeks I have gained 19 pounds, a few pounds more than I should at this point.  At 21 weeks I already feel huge, though I think, objectively, I'm still in the "cute" pregnant stage,  not yet grotesque.  It is making me realize how much more comfortable I'd remain if I could gain the recommended lower bound of 25 pounds, rather than the 45+ of last pregnancy.  Are you guys tired of hearing me obsess about weight gain yet?  I thought so.  (On a side note, MJ is now awake, "reading" in bed to the light of her nightlight.  I often wonder how long she sits there happily doing this.) 

The running has pretty much ceased, largely because the weather has been so phenomenal we've been going for nice long walks.  DH and I got pedometers through a health insurance wellness program, and love them.  I feel like it keeps me much more accountable to my level of activity, and days when I'm tired and would otherwise sit on the couch, I look at the low number and know I need to get up and go for a walk. 

The big news this week, of course, was finding out the gender.  And that everything looks good at this point.  We got a clear shot of the goods, so the gender is not really in question.  I couldn't be more proud of the hubs for how much he doesn't care that it's not a boy.  I think there was a brief moment of "But I want to take my kid hunting!" followed by a realization that MJ would probably be happy to go hunting.  As for myself, I anticipate a bit more drama with two girls than there might otherwise be, but I'm hopeful that means that someday they'll be closer.  I know these are all gender biases, and the reality may be totally different.  But I told the hubs that it's his job to encourage tom boys.

Calling baby a "her" definitely helps humanize her more.  And, this being the second time, she feels like more of a real person, that will someday turn into as interesting a little person as MJ is.  It's a weird concept, and still sometimes difficult to grasp.  The movement has picked up this week, but is still more muted than last time around, and the ultrasound tech confirmed that my placenta is in front.  She said that will likely change in the next couple weeks. 

MJ is amazing with the baby, and excited.  I thought maybe she'd lose interest because it's still so far away, but her interest has only grown.  When I drop her at daycare in the morning she has to hug and kiss my belly before I can go, and she also kisses baby goodnight.  She frequently asks how baby's doing, and what she's doing.  And now that we've told her it's a girl she's told everyone at "school".  And I say school, because this last week MJ transitioned to a new room at daycare, and is now technically in "preschool".  Which is so crazy, but so, so good for her.  It's more structured and more educational, and I already see the difference.  She has "circle time" and has to sit on tape on the floor while they read a book, which she tells me all about.  And they do a lot more pretend play, so yesterday I found her "swimming" under the table with her friend when I picked her up.  She is so excited to go in the morning, and sad to go home (which makes me a little sad, but objectively happy that she likes it so much.)   On days when work sucks and I fantasize about staying home with her, I realize it's no longer even really an option, because she wouldn't be as happy. 

Part of what kept me from falling back asleep is knowing everything we need to get done.  A lot of it is more "want" than "need", such as painting the nursery furniture and planting a garden.  But I'm starting to feel my energy wane a bit, and some of the pregnancy soreness has started to set in, so I know I need to get things done.  And we continue to talk about needing a new car, because we have a 15 year old one that I expect to die on us at any time (though I've been saying that for 2 years now), and another one that I'm pretty certain is too small to fit two car seats and two adults, though I haven't tested that yet.  The debate has been whether to get a car with third row seating.  They're much more expensive, but we have family visit us SO much, probably every other month, that it seems the extra seating will be necessary often.  It's just a lot of money to think about spending.

Alright.  Kiddo is still happily reading, but I'll take this opportunity to publish and hopefully post a picture later.

And....

We both got our wish! Healthy baby girl. And by healthy, I mean currently measuring in the 96th percentile for size. One pound at 20w6d. But I got no scolding for weight gain, my midwife seems to think everything is going well. Yippee for all!

Ultrasound Cheer

There's no better way to prepare for the anatomy ultrasound than to read the CDC statistics on birth defects, don't you think?  Here's a few of them for you to peruse:
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/birthdefects/data.html

Are you as shocked as I am to learn that over 3% of babies in the U.S. are born with birth defects?  I wanted to think that it applied to other categories of women than me, but nope.  For under 35 singleton births it's still about 3%.  The number is also higher in white women than in black or hispanic women.

At any rate, our anatomy ultrasound is later today.  (And yes, hopefully the gender ultrasound, too.)  In addition to expecting a slight scolding at my atrocious weight gain (almost 21 weeks and 18 pounds) I dread bad news.  And nothing like the CDC to fuel that dread. 

So hi.  Just saying what's on my mind.  MJ's hoping for a sister.  I'm hoping for functional organs.  Will let you know what we find out.

19 weeks

 

Due Date: 1 August.

Weight Gain:  14 lbs. 14 whopping pounds, already.  At my midwife appointment last week she was unconcerned.  So far I feel good, but I just want to do everything I can to stay that way.

Symptoms: I feel intermittent movement many times a day, but it's never intense. I seem to remember much more movement at this point with MJ.  My midwife commented that my placenta is in front and that I likely won't feel movement until later (20 to 22 weeks); perhaps this explains the lack of much movement.

Sleep:  Glorious.

I am loving: Being "cute" pregnant.  I know that in the not too distant future I will be grotesque pregnant, so it's nice to have a relatively small, non-offensive bump for the time being.  Before getting pregnant with MJ I would often admire baby bumps.  Women in ads for maternity clothing always look very cute.  When I got pregnant, I came to realize that the cute bump was early in pregnancy.  No one advertises the full term pregnant baby bump.  (I know that for some lucky souls they look cute to the end, but for the majority of us earthlings that just isn't true...)

I miss: Nothing.  Life is glorious.

 

I'm spazzing about:  Getting huge.  I was IN SO MUCH PAIN last time.  I don't want to repeat that.  I'm exercising.  But my appetite is ridiculous and there you go.

Milestones/Progress: Baby is a mango!  Which I'm allergic to!  My midwife appointment last week was nice, though a complete waste of time.  Sometimes I'm tempted to skip them, but just can't bring myself to.  But we did schedule the anatomy scan.  Last time I was dying to know if we were having a boy or a girl, and I felt no concern that there would be anything wrong.  This time I just know or know of too many people who've had sad news at their ultrasound.  So this time I'm nervous.  I really don't care what we're having, at all, which I didn't think was possible.  I always assumed people have a preference and don't want to share it.  I do want to know just so I can plan and decorate, but either answer is fine.  Healthy is all I'm after. 

My firstborn: Needs a haircut.  I keep telling myself that I'll take her in, but I just can't bring myself to do it.  She's worked hard on that hair.  It's pretty cute when I can put it in a pony tail.  And she was BORN with it.  I'm just not ready for that milestone... maybe our friend Nate was onto something when he cute his daughter's hair on his own so that it didn't become a big thing. 

I owe y'all a post on other stuff.  Work stuff.  That is coming, though I really have nothing big to say about it.

An uncouth post about money

I thought these decisions had been made. I am a working mom. I have found balance by working only 30 hrs a week. I have some schedule flexibility to take care of my daughter when she's ill or watch her kick a soccer ball. All in all, things are pretty good. I get to use my brain again. I get to have an identity separate from my husband and my children. But I still get to be there.

But now, 1.5 months into a new job, it's all in question again.  I did that pesky math that I mentioned in my last post, and realized that by me continuing to work, if everything else stays unchanged, I will be $7,000 in the hole once we add baby #2 to the mix.  This is primarily for two reasons.  1) My husband makes a lot more than I do, so my salary essentially gets taxed at his rate, which means that my take home pay is quite a bit lower than it otherwise would be, and 2) Daycare costs in this city are astronomical.  I did this math before I started back to work, after I found out I was pregnant, but didn't properly account for the tax portion.

My daughter is currently in a daycare center, and it's actually on the lower end of cost as far as centers go, but still quite a lot compared to other geographical locations.  We could move her to an in home day care, but I've never found one I feel comfortable with, and I've always been more comfortable with the idea of a center.  Maybe this is based on my personal inadequacies.  Because when I watch a young child all day, I sometimes get cranky and impatient.  When there are other people (i.e. dear husband) I can step away for a moment if I need to collect myself.  In home daycare providers don't have that option.  So while they may be wonderful, doesn't everyone have their moments?  I have a hard time getting comfortable with an environment that doesn't have any backup for the providers, and for which there is essentially no oversight.  I know there are wonderful places out there, I'm certainly not accusing anyone, that's just how I feel.

After pondering the possibility of returning home full time, I find myself not fond of the idea.  For a whole lot of reasons.  If I could leave temporarily, for a couple years, and know I could return to the work force, I'd probably do it, even though it's isolating and sometimes mind-numbing.  But what if I can't find a job I like?  Or that works for us?  This 30 hours a week gig is perfect, I'm skeptical I'd find another such opportunity doing something I like.  There just aren't a whole lot of Geochemists in the world, sadly.  And not an overwhelming need for more.

Let me bore you with a little more math.  The $7,000 figure is probably a bit lower, because that doesn't account for retirement benefits (which would bring the number closer to  $4500) and other benefits, most of which we don't need because we get them through DH's employer.  But it also doesn't account for things like parking fees, or the costs of keeping a child home (including more outings).  These numbers add some fuzz to the $7,000 number, but it's a rough estimate.

So now I need to come up with a solution.  Something I can sleep with at night, because paying $7,000 a year for the right to go to work doesn't sit easy with me.  I have to ask, if you feel comfortable talking about it, what would be your breaking point?  At what point would you throw in the towel and say "Enough!  I'm staying home!"  Do you worry about losing skills and not being employable?  Do you worry about not being financially independent and relying on your spouse?  That last question is poignant for me.  As a child of divorce, I remember a few lessons about keeping financial independence that stuck with me.  (I appreciate those lessons, Mom).  I don't currently worry about this, but it happens to a lot of unsuspecting women, and I want to have the option for self-reliance.  But how do you balance that with the realities of having small children that need you around?

The Glamorous Life

I say that in gest, but I've certainly been getting dressed up a lot lately.  My only remotely comfortable heels are red, so I've been rocking the black dress/red shoes look.  The above pic is at 16 1/2 weeks.  I must say, this time around the weeks have just been flying by.  I've been busy enough to be distracted.  But I think, more than that, I feel more comfortable with my existing knowledge and am not obsessively reading and learning about pregnancy and childbirth.  I'm just living my normal life, and the weeks slip by.

Last  night we went to a Gala.  This word always makes me pause, because there are two correct pronunciations to choose from, as well as the incorrect pronunciation I have to stop myself from using.  So we went to a Gay-la last night, for the fire department.  This one seemed to be a bigger deal than the others we've been to lately, simply because Senator Klobuchar and Governor Dayton, as well as our mayor, Chris Coleman, all decided to show up.  I'm not sure what about this event was so significant to them, but it was a little weird to see them all in one place.  Not that you all care about my political thoughts, but I was incredibly unimpressed by the Governor.  I guess this is just personal distaste, as he didn't "do" anything bad, but he was such a politician and seemed to lack depth (in full disclosure, I didn't vote for him, though I do generally agree with his politics).  The senator, too, was obviously in campaign mode.  Both of them talked more about themselves than about the benefit they were at or why the firefighters should be honored.  It was all about them.  The mayor, though, struck the right tone.  Said the right things.  Maybe because he actually feels invested in the fire department?  It was weird to be at a function where everyone was honoring St. Paul fire fighters, but no one actually lives in the city.  I don't think I met anyone else who actually lives in St. Paul, most of them live in the suburbs or further.  I felt gratitude to them, and I'm certain it's different if you don't live here.  Knowing that these are the guys that will show up on your doorstep if you call 9-1-1 can't help but make you feel a little more indebted.

Last night, while sitting at dinner, I felt my first "interrupting" kicks.  In general I feel what can only be described as "rustling"; like something is happening, but it's indistinct.  Last week while lying in bed I felt actual movement, but nothing distinct since then.  Then, while talking at dinner, I felt three distinct taps in my abdomen.  Maybe baby will be political?

At some point I owe you all a work post.  Having started a new job and changing our entire routine, it seems worth mentioning, doesn't it?  In truth, it's been a bit boring.  I like my coworkers, and I feel that in time it will get better, but right now I'm just writing a report.  All day, every day, and there's not a lot to say about that.  I think once I get involved in more projects, I will come to like it better.  I think, too, I just continue to question my decision.  I find myself wishing I could spend more time with MJ, and missing her.  But I remind myself that before, I found myself not enjoying my time with her, and being short with her.  Now when I'm with her, I'm happy to see her and she gets patient-me.  If I'm not capable of being patient and loving all day as a stay-at-home-mom, maybe this is the better option? 

I also get a bit frustrated that such a large chunk of my day just goes to getting MJ to daycare and home from daycare; it's an incredible time sink.  It feels better now that I'm not playing solo parent (DH had a rough work stretch) but the math is still frustrating.  The other frustrating math came while doing our taxes.  I fear, if I really sat down to calculate it, that I'm paying to work.  Nothing saps your motivation to go to work quite like realizing the salary portion doesn't even matter.  And with kiddo #2?  It will become even more disturbing.  In some sense I'm lucky to have that as an issue, but there are times when not having a choice is nice, because it doesn't make you question your decision.  It simply is what it is.  I know this falls under the category of "wish I had your problems", but it still weighs on me.  I feel like so many women I know claim that, if they could afford to, they would stay home in a heartbeat.  I often wonder if that's really true.  If they were truly faced with that decision, what would they choose? 

15 1/2 weeks

It's pretty dark, so tough to see the actual bump.  But it's there.  It was hard to find a dress in my closet that actually fit me, after some combinations so atrocious that DH tried to snap a photo of the trainwreck.

Due Date: 1 August.
 
Weight Gain:  8 lbs.  Ugh.  I won't rant this weeks, see my earlier posts if you're interested.

Symptoms:  None really.  Other than being big.  The other night, while lying in bed, I'm certain I felt movement.  Hasn't happened again since, though.

Sleep:   If I don't drink boatloads of water, I get headaches.  I've always been headache prone, but it's pretty extreme now.  So much so that I end up drinking about two pint glasses of water over night, meaning I have to pee.  So sleep would be fine if I wasn't getting up to pee five times a night.
 
I am loving:  How good I feel.  I'm trying to motivate to get things done in the house while I feel good and the weather's still cold, so that once nice weather hits I can play outside with Madeline.  But I find myself instead either doing daily chores or playing with MJ.  I don't get the bigger things accomplished.  Now that DH has come off a 2 weeks stretch of crazy work, maybe I'll get more done now.  Here's hoping.
 
I miss:  Nothing really.  I feel great.  This is the first time I can say that I'm enjoying being pregnant.

I'm spazzing about: This is getting boring if I say nothing again... so I'll say food.  I've been cooking a lot, which I enjoy, but it has been sucking up a lot of my time.  I think this might be the week of easy meals, just to give myself a break.

Milestones/Progress:  A navel orange in my navel.


My firstborn:  Continues to be amazing to me.  Today we took her to watch a basketball game at a restaurant with some other fans.  She stayed contented for at least an hour, coloring and talking to people.  Tickling a baby.  Just generally being a great kid.  A year ago, my crazy hyper child would never have been able to dream of such a thing.  When she goes to bed now, I see her on the monitor "reading" for about 40 minutes before she actually falls asleep.  She is becoming engrossed in books and drawing and "writing".  I realize it will be years before she learns to read, but her fascination with it and her desire to learn have mellowed her a bit.  I find myself frequently proud of her now, when she shares with other kids or gives them kisses and hugs.  Don't get me wrong, she still has plenty of toddler moments, but the little person she's becoming is beautiful.  I wasn't confident of her ability to be kind or calm a year ago, and now I feel I'm seeing the beginnings of these things, and it gives me immense hope.  This is the perfect time to be adding a sibling, let's just hope that's still true 5.5 months from now.

14 Weeks

Due Date: 1 August.

Weight Gain:  7 pounds.  My modest, normal weight gain seems to be going out the window.  I am exactly on the same trajectory as with MJ, maybe my body just likes to pack on the pregnancy pounds. 
 

Symptoms:  Some crazy headaches this week, though I think that may be due to some virus that MJ brought home from daycare.  

Diet/Cravings/Aversions:   Nothing.  Lots of water.  I guess I wasn't loving the odd meat parts in my Bun Mi this afternoon, though I don't necessarily think that can be blamed on a pregnancy version.

I am loving:  Feeling so good!  I am full swing into the second trimester feelings of normalcy.  I'm not huge yet.  I'm no longer sick.  And best of all, my back doesn't hurt this pregnancy!  I'm able to work out and am feeling great, probably even stronger than before I got pregnant.

Also, heard the heartbeat this week at my midwife appointment.  While in general I'm convinced these appointments are a waste of time, it was nice to hear.  Little bugger seems to be doing well.

I am looking forward to:  Getting the baby room all cleared out.  I have boxes of papers from my PhD program and simply can't decide what to do with them, so I stare at them and make no progress.  I Need to dispose of them or file them away, and I think it will be immensely satisfying when I do.

Milestones/Progress: Lemon.

Movement:  Still undecided...

It's a...: baby!

Exercise:  The weather here has been lovely (by Minnesota standards), so in addition to a few runs on the treadmill I also got to run outside.  I'm even getting a little bit faster (which isn't really saying a lot).

My firstborn: I have decided this is my favorite age so far, almost 2 1/2.   She is fun, generally well behaved, learning so much every day.  She's just a joyous ball of energy, and I finally feel like I have some handle on the day to day goings on.  The balance between how stressed out she makes me and how much fun I have with her has always been pretty close, but now the stress level is much reduced while the fun level has sky rocketed.  It's a wonderful imbalance to have.