2015: A recap

1. What did you do in 2015 that you’d never done before?  I became a working mom with three small children.  I became president of a volunteer organization (a local Mom's group).  I went on a girls weekend away.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?   I mostly kept last year's resolution.  I didn't really make any this year.  Some of my goals, generally, though: exercise more and eat more consciously.  Write on this blog more.  Establish more responsible sleep habits.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?   A friend of mine, who we used to be neighbors with, had her third child. I was SHOCKED when she announced she was pregnant, totally did not see that one coming.  One of DH's old high school friends and one of my old high school friends each had their first baby; I intended to make some quilts but still have not.  I don't turn them out as fast as I'd like.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  I really thought this would be the year our faithful old dog, Vito, said goodbye.  He seemed to be very sickly last spring, and I prepared the girls for this possibility.  But he's still kicking, laying here next to me as I write.  Thankfully, no one died.  I dread the day I have to say more on this bullet.

5. What countries did you visit and/or where did you travel?  Still haven't taken the kiddos out of the country, so I modified this question to recap travel in general.

Last February I went to Camp Du Nord, near Ely, for a Women's Ski and snowshoe retreat.  It was GLORIOUS.  Three days with no children or responsibilities of any kind.  What a release that was for me.  I will be going again this year and can hardly wait.

Last spring, during MJ's spring break, we stayed put for the first time ever.  DH's mom came to visit and it was lovely.

In May, the family went to West Virginia.  We spent a week in the mountains at a VRBO with some old friends.  It was beautiful and I would love to return.  The week was a bit rough, though, because we were the only ones with mobile children (one other couple had a young infant).  We were in a very different place from the rest of our friends.  They were all very understanding and seemed to enjoy our children, but I think DH in particular had a tough time balancing being a father when he just wanted to hang out with old friends.

Also in May we went camping nearby with some good friends, the Firedales.   Teddy and I ditched a day early, he was a hot mess and I couldn't deal.  The next month we went to a cabin with some other friends, and it went quite a bit better.  Much of last year, the theme was "Teddy sleeps a little better, but still pretty much sucks at it".  Survival.  So the cabin was awesome, but a bit of a struggle.

In July, hubs and I were supposed to go to Vegas for a 3-day-weekend to celebrate our 10 year anniversary.  It would have been our first time away from the kids in 5 years.  My MIL was in town and planning to watch the kids, but she got horribly sick and we had to cancel the trip.  We were bummed, but there was a blessing in disguise.  Hubs uncle had planned a trip to visit, not knowing we would be out of town, and we would have missed his entire trip.  Instead, we went to a baseball game and all-in-all had a lovely time.  I still dream of time away with my husband.  For the most part, I've wrapped my head around that never happening, at least not until the kids leave the house, but I'm not sure that hubs has.

Lots of travel... continuing on....

In July we went to visit my family in Oregon.  Lovely.  Perfect.  I love it there, hubs loves it there, the kiddos love it there.  Teddster did break his leg on this sisters third b-day, but otherwise it was wonderful.

In September, we went to Alexandria, MN, tagging along on hubs work trip, as we do every year.  This year, though, was actually really fun.  I look forward to next year; this is the first time I can say that.  The housing was better, there were other folks with kids nearby, and I could actually participate in things.

In October, we again went to Du Nord, this time as a family, with some other friends.  It was DH's first time there, and he fell in love with it just as passionately as I did.  We are already trying to plan our next trip.

Lastly.... in December, we went back to upstate New York to visit DH's family.  The trip was long, and Christmas is a tough time to travel with three small kids.  On the way there, we were not sure we would do it again, but it was such a wonderful trip that we completely reversed that opinion.  So good to see extended family, friends we haven't seen in forever.  Lots of DH's family that had never met the kids, or barely met them, got to spend quality time together.  It was awesome.

6. What would you like to have in 2016 that you lacked in 2015?
I would like to feel put together.  In house.  In personal appearance.  In life.  Last spring, Teddy was still sleeping pretty poorly, MJ was only in school half days.  Over the summer, all three were home.  In the fall, I started working part-time (my position ended in December, though).  Which is to say: I felt frazzled all the time.

But now, finally, a week into January 2016, I actually feel things coming together.  MJ is in school full days, G is in school three mornings a week.  Just the ease of grocery shopping with one (fairly well behaved) child is magical.  My house is cleaner (about as clean as it is realistically likely to get.... past a point, I just don't care enough.)  It's almost overwhelming.  I'm rediscovering what one can accomplish when one has time.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't remember particular dates.  But the Paris Terrorist attack stuck in my memory, unfortunately.  This is the first year I've actually read this as more than just personal events.... probably says something about my life.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Being a working mother of three.  The logistical challenges were many.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I don't want to say "I didn't have any", but I don't think anything I consider major.  The things that have plagued me in the past, such as patience with the children, were markedly improved this year.  I established some strong routines and things got better.

The thing that nags me, though, is my inability to lose weight.  It has actually gone UP this year.  It mostly perplexes me.  I feel like I am more active and eat better than I used to, so I really don't understand where it's coming from.  Age?  I guess.  I refuse to "diet", other than to just try to eat healthy.  I don't eat many processed foods, and when I've tried to actively lose weight in the past it just robbed me of energy to deal with the littles.  Doesn't seem worth it.  Furthermore, I refuse to introduce my children to this concept.  Body image is so, so fragile for young girls.  I will focus my energy, for me, and for them, on eating healthy and staying active, and let the chips fall where they may.  Now I just need to accept that.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not particularly.  We had a lot of stomach viruses this past fall, it felt like one after another.  Teddster broke his leg (a buckle fracture of his tibia) when I went down a slide with him and G (I should have known better.... this will be something that our children will be horrified we ever did).  Hubs came down with anaplasmosis last summer (from a tick bite while camping); it was terrifying to see him so ill.  Last thing that comes to mind was some dental work at the end of December.  I experienced real-deal PTSD, flashbacks to having my wisdom teeth removed.  Perhaps a story for another time.  But I almost passed out at the Dentist having a filling.  It was awful, but it went fine in the end.

11. What was the best thing you bought?  

This one is easy.  Two things.
1) my sewing machine.  I am in love with it.  I don't use the free motion foot as much as I thought I would, but love it nonetheless.  I didn't realize how bad my old one was until I got this one.
2)  a cordless dyson.  Even hubs agrees on this one.  It is so phenomenal how much dirt this thing picks up.  I now vacuum almost every day, because it is so easy to do.  It has made such a difference in the cleanliness of our house.  I only wish I had it before the littles started crawling.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
In the past, I've read other peoples surveys, and they often say "their husband".  I haven't felt that impulse in the past.  Not that he was bad, but not above and beyond.  Maybe working too much, or tired and grumpy, etc.  This year, though, I feel it.  Wholeheartedly.  He stepped it up and it made a huge difference.  It started last summer.  He had been particularly grumpy, and we had a very heart felt conversation after his anaplasmosis bout.  He turned it around.  He vowed to be a better husband, and it happened.  Then, in the fall, when I started working again, I just couldn't keep up with the amount of child rearing.  I needed him to step in, even though I knew he was super busy, and he did, gracefully and cheerfully most of the time.  I feel like this was the year he vowed to be a better husband, and it was wonderful.  I feel like it has strengthened our marriage a ton.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?  Donald Trump.


14. Where did most of your money go?   Our mortgage and savings.  But, apart from that, travel.  It is always travel.  I am okay with that.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Sewing.  And quilting.  I know that makes me a geek, but I love it.  I love creating things.  I love that I can do it easily when the kids are around.    I didn't sew much over the summer, and I worried I had fallen out of love with it, but when the weather turned cold it came flooding back.

16. What song will always remind you of 2015?
I am so removed from popular culture.  I can't think of any new songs, at all.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– Happier or sadder?
Happier.  Probably because I'm getting better sleep.  I continue to nap when the kids nap and stay up way too late, but I will never adjust to 5:00 am wake ups, and it's how I stay sane.  It's worked for well over a year now, and I don't see it ever ending.  I was worried, when I working, that it would be a problem.  It wasn't.  The kids wear me out to such an extent that I NEED a nap when I'm with them.  I can get by without one when they're not around.

– Thinner or fatter?
Fatter, as mentioned above.  But fat and happy is not so bad.

– Richer or poorer?
Richer.  Thanks to hubs choosing a great career, and some added bonus from me working.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Playing with the kids.  Valuing these fleeting moments.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing.


20. How did you spend Christmas?
In Binghamton.  With my MIL and BIL, and some lovely extended family.  It was so warm we comfortably grilled (spiedies) outside.  Greta dragged her presents into the other room to open them by herself.  Teddy didn't quite understand the point of it all, but loved it.  MJ was fully in the throes of Santa questioning.

21. Did you fall in love in 2015?
With my husband.  I feel like we are more of a team than we've ever been.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
I watched Game of Thrones this year (still haven't finished it).  I love the series that hubs and I watch together, which are few.  We just finished Fargo Season 2, and earlier we watched House of Cards.   Still love Downton.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Donald Trump.

24. What was the best book you read?
Trying to remember what I read this year.  Not a lot, a lot of spare time spent sewing.  Magical art of tidying up was impactful.   Also Defending Jacob.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? MJ and I listened to the Nutcracker a lot.

26. What did you want and get?

A sewing machine.

27. What did you want and not get?
I am blessed.  Nothing of significance.  Except a 10th anniversary celebration, I suppose.

28. What was your favorite film this year?
Umm... didn't watch many.  James Bond, it was fine.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Met up with friends at a couple bars.  I LOVE spending time with adults on date nights.  Real conversations, not interrupted by children.  It was amazing and lovely.

30. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A housekeeper.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?
Wear what I feel good in.  Inspired by Kon Marie.  I cleansed my closet (didn't get a lot further than that).  I bought a few more pieces, and have given myself permission to get rid of things I don't feel good in.  It has been good.  I have also discovered I like neutral colored clothing; I love bright colors on other people, and as accent pieces, but have come to realize I never actually wear them if I buy them.  This has gone a long way towards insuring that I don't buy things I don't wear.

32. What kept you sane? Sewing.  Wine.  My husband.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Umm.... I don't know.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?  Gun violence.  And Black Lives Matter.  I'm not a fan of things that disrupt people just trying to live their lives.

35. Who did you miss?  My Mom.

36. Who was the best new person you met?  Anastasia.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2015
Parenting efforts in the early years pay dividends years later.  But they're worth it.  I'm starting to see our efforts in teaching MJ politeness and helpfulness fully come to fruition.

Loyalty in a life partner is far more important than I ever realized.

It boggles my mind that my 20-yr-old clueless self was so astute at picking a life partner.

2014: A recap

I didn't quite get around to this survey last year.  I had a 3 day old, and for the whole month of January I tried to find the time.  I eventually let it go. I let many things go this year, out of necessity for my mental health.  That was one thing I learned this year: how many things I have to let go in order to stay sane. 1. What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?  I stayed home with three small children.  I learned how to quilt and made my first quilt for Teddy's 1st birthday.  

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?   I have a tendency to make very vague New Years Resolutions and not tell them to anyone, so that if I fail no one knows.  :)  So, I don't take them too seriously. Last year I wanted to read more and watch less TV.  I 100% succeeded.  I read a ton and watched very little TV.  It felt awesome.

 This year I have decided to not drink any alcohol in January.  A cleanse, of sorts.  Not entirely a resolution, but sort of a start.  I want to get more done around the house.  Fix some things that have been nagging me, like painting the kitchen and possibly redoing the countertops.  

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? A few good friends had babies.  No relatives.  Not me!!!

4. Did anyone close to you die? My grandmother died in June.  I wasn't terribly close to her but was sad nonetheless.  Teddy and I flew to Oregon for the funeral, and it was nice to see some of my extended family.

Additionally, an acquaintance of mine, and good friend to several of my good friends, died this fall.  He was 36 with two young kids.  Very sad.  Tragic.  Heart wrenching.  

5. What countries did you visit? No countries.  We have yet to take the kids out of the country, it sounds like lots of stress with very little gain.  We travelled to the pan handle of Florida and to Orlando, as well as Oregon (twice) and a few cabin trips in Minnesota.  

6. What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014? Sleep.  Calm.  Less stress.  Teddy basically sucked at sleeping for the entire year.  He's starting to get better, and the girls are now pretty consistent sleepers after settling into their bunk bed routine.  But I have not adjusted to the third kid all that well.  I have been stressed, exhausted and yelling much more than I'd like to admit.  I have taken steps to improve that in the past few months, and I'm starting to see the results of that.  I'd like the less stressed, better rested and calmer version of me to become the norm.

7. What dates from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?  I'm not sure there were any dates.  The first time in a couple years I haven't given birth, so no new birthdays to add.  No new houses, new cars, or the like.  

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I'm starting to feel so boring.  No major accomplishments, other than keeping three littles fed, clothed and loved.  I oversee two rental properties, one of which I found a new tenant for.  

9. What was your biggest failure? I was not a great parent for much of the year.  I yelled a lot. I did not have grace under pressure.  

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Nothing major.  I did have a round of mastitis last winter, which knocked me to the floor, but some antibiotics knocked that down quickly.  Also followed by a UTI which also went away with meds quickly. Other than that, our family has stayed pretty healthy.  Yes, illnesses hear and there but nothing crazy.  (Not including my mother-in-law's terrible bout with the flu while visiting over Christmas.  Fingers crossed we don't get that one.)

11. What was the best thing you bought?  
No major purchases.  A small TV for the living room, a purse from Keen I'm in love with, and bought some new clothes since I'm finally not pregnant.  The best place my money went, though, has been a gym membership at Lifetime Fitness.  Although I don't make it quite as much as I would like, I make it pretty often and the kids have loved it.  There have definitely been days where that is my only bit of sanity in the day.  I drop them at childcare, and sit quietly in the locker room for 5 minutes.  Then exercise at my own pace and take a quiet shower.  Total bliss.  Also, the kids love it so much it serves as strong motivation to get me out the door.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My Mother and Mother-in-law.  None of our family live close, but it is so nice that they have stayed so involved despite being so far away.  My Mom came for a month when Teddy was born and put up with my cranky, hormonal, crazy self.  She has been a couple times since and I am so lucky she puts up with our crazy family.  My Mother-in-law doesn't make it out quite as much because she isn't retired, but she, again, is so patient with our crazy family.  I am blessed by some awesome moms.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? The riots in Ferguson, MO, and the violence that has erupted elsewhere, has made me sad.  Yes, the initial shooting was sad and terrible.  But the idea that people then riot and destroy property, or shoot police officers, is so appalling to me.  How do people expect more respect if that's their reaction?  I know this is a contentious topic.  But that's my $0.02.

14. Where did most of your money go? Travel and savings.  We travel quite a lot, and now that we're buying 4 plane tickets (soon to be 5) it adds up quick.  But with all our family living far away it helps us stay close.  And we also love it.  It's our biggest luxury, by far.

Other big expenses were a pop-up trailer my husband bought and which he adores, and date nights.  We do like our date nights.  It is usually the hubs that insists on date nights, but I'm always glad when he does.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?  Hmmm.....  I was pretty darn excited about going to Disney World in December.  I was also excited for our Florida trip with friends last March, and our Oregon trip in August.  So travel, I guess, was exciting.

16. What song will always remind you of 2014?  "Take me to Church" by Hozier, "Happy" by Pharrell Williams and  Ed Sheeran "Don't".

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
– Happier or sadder? 
This shouldn't be a tough one, but it is.  I was pretty excited about our 3rd kid, but the reality has been really, really tough.  Not that I thought it wouldn't be, but I was hopeful that within a few months it would get easier.  If you had told me a year ago that I would still be sleeping so poorly I would have cried.  Hope that things would get better got me through much of this year.  They are starting to get better, but they're still pretty darn tough.  Greta is still only 2 1/2, so of course she's no angel.  Teddy is just now becoming a toddler.  This spacing has been tough.  Our kids are just intense.  Which makes them all so interesting, but so exhausting.  There are a lot of issues I thought we would get past this year that are still real issues, such as Greta's violence to her brother.  So, I am happy.  So happy.  But now that I have a more realistic outlook on our next couple years I'm not sure that I'm happier.  I'll leave it at that.

– Thinner or fatter? Thinner, but not by as much as I had hoped.  I am still 10 pounds up from my pre-pregnancy weight.  With both of the last kids the weight came off by now, so I'm frustrated.  Hoping my alcohol free January will help with this a bit.

– Richer or poorer? Richer.  We do pretty well at saving.  And now that we are home all the time, we don't eat out as much as we used to.  Not as much time to spend money. ;)

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I really think I did an awful lot considering how crazy our year was.  So I'll leave this at nothing.  

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
 Stressing.  I wish I could take things in stride more easily.  Stress doesn't help much when dealing with small children.  Only patience does.


20. How did you spend Christmas?  My mother-in-law and brother-in-law were in town for Christmas and it was lovely.  Although it would be nice to be near family for Christmas, it also looks incredibly stressful to run all over for everyone's various Christmases.  I love staying home with our family, cooking and feasting for days and opening presents on Christmas morning.  

We also have a number of good friends with no family around, and we always have a few Christmas parties with them in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  They are really like family, without the drama that comes of your blood relatives.  

This year we took the kids to church on Christmas Eve.  Greta and Teddy lasted for all of 15 minutes before I had to walk home with them.  I also may have overdone the number of presents I got them this year.  I vow not to do that next year.  They were officially spoiled, no need for that.  

21. Did you fall in love in 2014?  I can honestly say I fell in love with Teddy.  It wasn't immediate, because I just didn't have the time to focus on him and stare lovingly in his eyes that I did with the other two.  And since I was exclusively pumping for the first several months, I didn't have that bond either.  But now that he's sleeping a bit more, and interacting more, and I can focus my attention on him, I adore him.  I think it really started when he started crawling and would crawl over to me and tug on my leg to be picked up.  It was so endearing, how he viewed me as his protector from the world.  He's on track to be the craziest one of the three, which is truly saying a lot, but I love seeing his personality emerge.  

22. What was your favorite TV program? I am totally addicted to Downton Abbey.  I look forward to a new episode with longing.  Other shows I liked this year were Girls and House of Cards.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I can't think of anyone I hate.

24. What was the best book you read? I loved Gone Girl, could barely put it down.  I also really loved My Notorious Life and The Fault in Our Stars.  I'm not original in my fiction taste.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I'm not sure I had one.  Spotify, perhaps.

26. What did you want and get?
  Some awesome vacations.  A night away.  I feel like there was something else I can't remember, which makes me feel ungrateful.  Patio furniture!  

27. What did you want and not get?  A stand mixer.  A sewing machine.  More time.  More quiet.  A tenant for our second rental, hope to resolve that soon.

28. What was your favorite film this year?  The ones that have stuck in my mind are Gone Girl, Grand Budapest Hotel, Begin Again and The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 
34!  I had an awesome birthday.  As a birthday gift, I had a night in a nearby hotel.  We had a date night on the town, then husband tucked me in and went home and I slept as late as I wanted with no one waking me up.  I woke up to quiet.  I ate a leisurely breakfast and read the paper.  It was awesome.

Also, a group of friends went to the Mall of America.  Sounds lame, I know, but I loved it.  They have a ropes course and zip line we went on, and some others went on some of the roller coasters.  Then we all ate at Benihana.  It was just great to have all these friends out without kids and actually get to talk to them.  We are always around each with our kids and real conversations are tough.  It was a blast.

30. What is one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?  More time to myself and meaningful work outside the home.  

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013? "Oops!  Forgot to look in the mirror! I have no idea what I'm wearing."

That statement isn't even a joke.  The number of times I walked out of the house covered in puke, wearing a tiara my daughter put there or with food in my teeth were many.  I have always tried to maintain some effort towards my appearance, but this year it went to shit.  It took all my effort to get everyone out the door, and if I paused to look in the mirror or give any thought to my appearance I would never have made it anywhere.  
I am starting to change that a bit.  So now it's often dresses with leggings or t-shirt and jeans.  A scarf instead of a necklace since Teddy pulls on all my necklaces.  I am told I wear too much black, so I have tried to branch out.  I have come to realize if I stick to neutral colors with bright accessories I can handle that.  I still like black, though, because it's easy and looks good.

32. What kept you sane? Sertraline.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Hmm... no one, really.  I'm not much for movie stars, can't think of any crushes.

34. What political issue stirred you the most? Ebola.  I spent an insane amount of time thinking about it, and donated quite a bit to the cause.  It's a major part of the hubs job, which certainly contributes too.

35. Who did you miss?  Some of our friends that have moved away, especially Elissa.  

36. Who was the best new person you met?  I became more involved in a local moms group and met some awesome women through there.  It has been such a wonderful source of sanity for me, and Greta has really started to bond with some of the kids.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
  Oh gosh.  Nothing I didn't know, exactly.  Exercise makes me happy.  Sometimes to make things easier on yourself, first you have to do some significant work (finding a babysitter, an outlet, etc.)

Year in review, goals, yada, yada (and a 5 month bday... unless that lands in another post)

For as long as I can remember I have, intermittently, kept a journal.  People do it for lots of reason: stress relief, insight, writing practice.  Although these reasons have at various time been important to me, the biggest reason I have kept one is so as not to forget.  In recent years my journal has become this blog.  The downside to a blog, over a journal, is that sometimes I can't/don't write the things that are truly stressing me out.  If I've had a fight with the hubs, I'm not going to write about it here, because that's just tacky.  I find writing out my frustrations to be therapeutic, but not airing dirty laundry.  But the upside, and a huge one, is that family and friends can keep up on our goings on.   And sometimes, when I do share my frustrations and stresses, I gain some really valuable insight from the internets.  So the pluses outweigh the minuses. 

In case it's not already apparent, this is going to be a very rambling post.

This is a long way of saying that it should come as no surprise that I like year-in-review posts.  Because I have a crappy memory, and this blog serves as my memory.  Should probably back up that memory sometime.

This year has been a big one for me.  So much so that I forget everything that's happened during it.

I started the year with a new job.  It quickly became apparent that I really disliked said job, and I feel like I wasted much of the year at a desk.  Spending time at a desk isn't necessarily a waste, but me at a desk was a waste.  Even just sitting for that long I found to be very taxing, on top of the fact that I didn't like what I was doing. 

I also started the year fairly newly pregnant.  I spent much of the year pregnant.   Despite vowing to keep my weight down so that I could stay active and enjoy pregnancy, I did not.  I've decided I'm just not a glowing pregnant  woman.  I love babies, but pregnancy is for the birds.  So that's decided.

We squeezed in a lot of trips in preparation for the baby, because I was convinced that once she was born I'd never go anywhere again.  We started with a trip to Austin in February for a friends wedding.  Then Chicago for a conference.  A trip to Madeline Island with some dear friends (some of whom have since moved).  An annual return to our old neighbors cabin, where every year we marvel at how much bigger the girls have gotten.  I also squeezed in a work trip to Ottawa, and the first time I've left MJ and hubs alone together, and the longest I've been away from her.

And then Greta arrived.  The transition has been far easier than I expected.  There were some frenzied initial weeks as I figured out how to juggle the addition, but it has not been the dire outcome I feared.  We see friends just about as much as we did before.  We still managed a trip back to Oregon in October, which went really superbly.  Despite sleeping in the same room with both girls, and staying at 4 different houses in a week, we all stayed pretty sane and rested.

MJ has been a stellar big sister.  She's helpful, engaged, loving, gentle and just about everything I could ask of a 3-year-old (far more than I would have thought to ask, actually).  She's excited every morning to see Greta and gives her big hugs and smooches.  If she accidentally causes Greta any harm, or even if she's not responsible but Greta is upset, she often starts bawling in sympathy.  She shows no signs of jealousy whatsoever.

MJ turned three this year.  Almost immediately after turning 3, her tantrums took on a new level of intensity.  It was a rough couple months, but the past month or two has returned to a more reasonable level.  I've also started putting her to bed half-an-hour earlier, which I don't think is unrelated (does that count as a double negative?)  I've started to fall-in-love with my 3 year old.  We have conversations.  We talk about deep things, like getting old.  We sing in the car at the top of our lungs.  We eat too much cake together.   I informed her today that she would someday move out of our house, and go to college.  She freaked!  She wailed!  She informed me that no, Dad would be coming to college with her.  For that matter, this is the year that she became a daddy's girl.  I couldn't be more happy about it.  He adores her, and she adores him.  They are similar people, and I think their new found attachment has made the addition of Greta much easier on her.  I wonder if she will become jealous when, someday, DH also falls in love with Greta.  He likes/loves her now, but not in the deep way he does MJ.  I know it's just age, because he was the same way with MJ at this age, and now that Greta has started to interact with him I see the beginning of their relationship.  My suspicion is that MJ is much more like DH and Greta is much more like me, but only time will tell.  I think my biggest hope for them, other than the obvious "I want them to be happy and healthy, etc." is that they can form a deep and lasting friendship.  It's not so much my job to be friends with them, it's their job to plot against me.  And I think a friendship between the girls would serve them so well in life.  I hope to do whatever I can to make that happen.  

After a while with Greta, and the realization of how miserable I would be back at a job I didn't like while missing one of my favorite ages, I decided to quit my job.  I felt like a flake.  But I have zero regrets, and so far I love being home.  I'm not sure this is the forever situation, but it's the right thing for right now.  With Greta going to sleep at 6 o'clock, I have no interest in missing 90% of her awake time.  Our family's in a really good place right now.

Some other milestones:
Biggest achievement:  Two kids.  Both having and parenting.

Biggest failure:  That the job didn't really work.  Starting and quitting a job so soon is not my style.

Illnesses:  Thankfully, no.  After spending her first two years on earth constantly sick, MJ is now healthy as a horse (which means, so are we).

Biggest thing you bought:  A mini-van.  Which we all love.  It fits so well with our lifestyle.
Regardless of whether we want to be in the mini-van phase of life, we most certainly are.  Accepting that fact has made life a little easier.

What did you get really excited about:  All our travel.  After MJ was born we really didn't travel much (still a lot by some people's metric, but not much for us).  She was a crazy child, and very hard to take anywhere.  Greta is proving to be much more mellow, and hopefully much more amenable to travel.  Because now that we've started again, it's in my system and I want to do more!

Song:  Gangnam Style and Call me Maybe.  Both of which MJ ADORES!  She got an MP3 player for Christmas, and listens to those two songs constantly.  And dances every time.  And MUST have a stage to dance on.  So not just the songs remind me of 2012, but MJ's love of those songs. I can't help but wonder which teen pop song will be next.  As for my personal song, it would be Gotye "Somebody that I used to know".  The first time I heard that song I was pulling onto the freeway on the way to work.  It made me want to stop the car.  I was instantly addicted.  It's been a long time since a song has been that instantly amazing to me. 

Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Fatter.  I'm still up about 7 pounds from pre-pregnancy, and the scale hasn't really budged in 4 months.
c) richer or poorer?  Pretty much the same, I think.

What do you wish you'd done more of?
Hmm, not really sure.  Not stressing.  Being patient.

What do you wish you'd done less of?
Watching TV.  I'm making a conscious effort to tone that down.  But Downton Abbey is starting soon... and Mad Men....

How did you spend Christmas?
At home, with my mother-in-law and brother-in-law, as well as hubs and the girls.  It was awesome, actually.  This is the first year MJ really "got" Christmas, and it was fun to make it magical for her.  It was also great not to travel, as we have the past two years, and to have hubs off work for so many days.   

Did you fall in love in 2012?Yes.  With Greta.  And with big sister MJ.  Watching the two of them lights up my life.

What was your favorite TV program?I don't know.  Probably The Borgias.  And Downton Abbey. I'm inexplicably excited for the new season.

What was the best book you read?
Ugh.  I didn't do much reading, least not of books.  But I finally finished The Disappearing Spoon, which was stellar.
 
What was your favorite film of this year?I don't watch many movies.  But I watched Sabrina the other day (the old one) and loved it.

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?I did next to nothing.   Hubs was working.  MJ had swim lessons.  It was a bit of a let down, but by now I've started to accept that they always are.  And at least this year he remembered my birthday, and actually listened and got me something I needed.  So that was a step up. 

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Absolutely nothing.  My years was very satisfying.  Stressful, busy, tiring, but definitely satisfying.


How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?Pregnant.  Followed by post-partem.  So non-existent, basically.  And now that I'm not at work, considerably less thought out than before.  I'd like to change that, now that I'm not pregnant and the post-Christmas sales are on.

What kept you sane?Starbucks.  Date nights.  Ladies nights.  Creeping into MJ's room after she's asleep to give the blissful little girl hugs.  A bigger house.  Accepting that breast feeding doesn't really make much difference in the end. 




Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?I have no idea.  Jon Hamm, maybe?   

What political issue stirred you the most?The Connecticut shooting.  If this country doesn't do something about gun control, we are dumb. 

Who was the best new person you met?Tough one.  I'm not really sure, as I haven't expanded my friend circle this year.  It's probably cheating to say Greta. 

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
I need to be a more patient person.  As part of that, I need to go to bed earlier.  I love that post-kid time, but then I'm a mean person the next day.  I also need to take less on, because then I run out of patience and am not nice to MJ.  I'm not nice far too much of the time, and I don't want that to be the childhood she remembers.  Working on it, sometimes better than others.   

Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.I got nothing.



Resolutions:  My resolution started a bit early.  When I got back from Oregon in October I resolved to lose the baby weight, I was still about 10 pounds up from pre-baby.  I was tired of clothes not fitting, etc.  I started eating better and lost about 2 pounds, but have continued to hover in that +8 to +10 pound range.  A blog I read, Growing With the Gilmores, inspired me to not have any more excuses.  She has chronicled her post-baby weight loss and exercise, and it's been really inspiring to see the whole thing.  She started the Couch-to-5K shortly after Greta was born (her daughter is a little older than mine).

So I also started the Couch-to-5K a few weeks ago (I just started week 4).  I don't consider myself a couch potato, so it never really appealed to me, but I instantly loved it.  It started in just the right place for me.  After a work-out I felt like I had exercised but also felt like I wanted to do it again.  I used to dislike programs that prescribed a certain regimen, I liked determining what felt right for me.  However, I find now that I'm tired of making decisions all the time, and thinking "I should really be running faster now.  Now I can walk, but only for 1 minute and then I should run again".  I have enjoyed that it tells me exactly when to run, when to walk, how long, etc.  I make decisions all day long, I want someone else to make decisions for me.
  



I am a bit frustrated by the lack of weight loss.  I guess I'm probably down about a pound, and with all the holiday eating that's better than gaining, but I was hoping for a bit more.  Right now, though, my goal is simply to keep at it.  I've been running/walking three times a week for half-an-hour.  Sometimes I'm tempted to add another day, and the fact that I actually want to exercise more makes me happy.  I've been feeling strong and active and I like it.  I like that it's not every day, because some days I simply can't get it together.  I'm tired, or the girls refuse to nap, or something.  So specifically, I resolve to run three times a week for a half-an-hour.  More than that would be great, but I resolve to at least do that much.  And I'm hoping the weight loss just comes with time. 

My other resolution is to become a more patient person and nicer to MJ.  If that means I do less, then so be it.  I simply must be more patient.

I secretly love memes

They force me to cover subjects I wouldn't normally cover.  But as you can see, this one is a bit overdue.  Maybe I just needed more time to fully reflect?

So here's my 2011 wrap-up, copied from Life of a Doctor's Wife.
 
1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?  Quit something substantial (my PhD).  I've quit small things, but I can't think of any big things I've really quit.  It was very hard for me to do.  It turned out to be the right thing to do.

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember if I made any last year.  They're not really my thing, though I probably resolved to get pregnant.  This year, I'd like to be more generous with my spouse.  This was inspired by this story in the NYTimes; I took the quiz and failed.
 
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My friend Elissa gave birth to an adorable baby boy.  Technically that was in 2010 (just barely), but I didn't get to meet him until 2011, so I'm going to count it.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully, no.  Let's keep it that way. 

5. What countries did you visit?
Our country hopping has diminished since MJ's advent.  She doesn't even have a passport yet.  But we did have the opportunity to visit Oregon, Florida, Massachusetts and New York.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
I actually can't think of anything.  I have everything I want.  As long as this pregnancy continues to be healthy then I wouldn't wish for anything more.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 28th - the day we closed on our house.  Though I'll probably forget that one in time.  And of course, the events that happen every year, birthdays and anniversaries.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Moving forward in my life.  Quitting my PhD (is it weird to call that an achievement?), trying new things. Getting pregnant was a blessing, but I'm not sure I'd call it an achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure?
I need more patience, particularly with the toddler.  My hormones have been out of control lately, and I've been taking it out on those around me.  My temper often gets the better of me.
 
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had a terrible ear infection in May that landed me in bed for a week and caused hearing loss in one ear that is still recovering.  I still can't fully hear out of my left ear, not sure if I ever will.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our house, of course.  I was sad to leave our old house, but no longer have any remorse.  I can't believe we managed to live so comfortably in our tiny house. I am so happy here.  Even MJ no longer has the need to get out of the house all the time that she did in our old place.
 
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
This one stumps me.  Maybe I'll skip it. 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Some things are best left unsaid. 

14. Where did most of your money go?
House.  We're finally able to seriously pay down debt: 2 houses, lots of school loans.  DH put together a spread sheet with our assets and our liabilities; I won't bother to share the number with you here, but it was sobering.  So yes, we're paying down debt.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Pregnant.  The joy is overwhelming, and terrifying.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2011?
Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.  This year had lots of tough decisions looming.  We made them, and we're happy with the results.

b) thinner or fatter?  Fatter.  Happy, happy, early pregnancy fatter.

c) richer or poorer? Technically, poorer.  But on a month to month basis, richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing in this blog, because I like to look back on it.  Savoring the moment.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Watching TV.  Since MJ was born I find that we (I) spend many, many evenings watching TV after she goes to bed.  I often feel too tired to do much else, but it seems that when I keep it off I actually find more energy.  Also, bickering with the hubs. We do a lot of that.  We should do less.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We visited DH's family in upstate New York.  I lived near them for 4 years, so I always enjoy seeing them all because I feel like I know them all pretty well.  Also, it dawned on me that I've now known his hometown friends for 10 years, and really feel close to many of them.  Christmas was wonderful, MJ really bonded with her Grandma and Uncle, and it was all so relaxing. 

21. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I think I fell more deeply in love with my child.  It seems that continues to be true, but the explosion of language has really allowed me to learn more about her.  What she thinks and feels.  And seeing her be sweet and kind to other children (as much as you can hope for from a 2 year old) always warms my heart.  Additionally, her fearlessness and inquisitiveness make me both excited and nervous for what lies ahead of her.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Borgias.  Yeah for season 2!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don't think I hate people.

24. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read many books this year.  But the best was probably Hunger Games.

25. What did you want and get?
Pregnant!  The difficulty made it that much sweeter when it finally happened.  Also, I finally figured out (and fixed!) the source of my ongoing back pain.  It's all about shoe support, turns out.  And a little bit wasn't cutting it, I needed full-on insoles.  When I remember to wear them all the time I feel great.  But so much for going bare foot :(

26. What did you want and not get?
Is it bad to say nothing?  All the things I desperately wanted, happened.  Some things, like a new car, are in the back of my mind, but the expense really doesn't seem worth it yet.  As child #2 approaches, we'll see, though.

27. What was your favorite film of this year?
Tough one.  I didn't watch many movies this year.  Oddly, the one that comes to mind is "The Hangover" but I certainly can't imagine that one's really at the top...

28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 31 this year.  We were in Orlando with DH for a conference.  We went to Disney World the day before (which was AMAZING!) and hung out by the pool on my actual birthday.  And DH made me an amazing gift, which I should really post a picture of.  An earring/jewelry rack that has finally brought some order to my jewelry situation.  Possibly the sweetest gift he has given me.

29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Ummm.... immeasurably?  That's hard to quantify.  Maybe more massages?  

30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Getting by.  I am not much of a fashion guru these days.  I recently acquired a purse that I was told by a cashier reminds her of Mary Poppins.  Does that tell you anything?

31. What kept you sane?
 My friends.  I became a lot closer to several girlfriends this year, and it has been wonderful.  I feel so blessed by the friends I have found here.  Also, having someone help me clean my house.  I know this is a luxury, but I can't tell you how wonderful it has been, and how much less DH and I fight as a consequence.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I'm not much for celebrities.  I can't think of any that really float my boat.


33. What political issue stirred you the most?
I have become less immersed in politics, I find they just frustrate and infuriate me.  As usual, issues with climate change upset me the most.

34. Who did you miss?

There is one friend in particular that I rarely see since having quit my PhD.  I miss talking geeky science with him.

35. Who was the best new person you met?
If you haven't noticed, I try to avoid naming names in this blog.  But I'd have to say my new neighbors are the best addition to our circle.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
Oh gosh, I'm a stubborn mule, to say I've "learned" may be stretching it.  But this whole pregnancy thing has taught me some degree of patience.  Some degree of "what will happen will happen, so just enjoy life".  It's easier to say this in retrospect, though.  Also, I guess I learned (was reminded?) not to let fear of failure and the unknown trap me in an unhappy situation

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Two come to mind:  "Elmo loves his goldfish, his crayon too...."  and "A b c d e f g..."